


Ride or die

by Mindfilledwithletters



Category: Glee
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, COVID-19, Divorce, Feelings, Fighting, Fluff, M/M, Marriage, Mention of Death, Minor Character Death, Quarantine, Sickfic, Smut, domestic!klaine, lockdown - Freeform, mention of vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 58,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindfilledwithletters/pseuds/Mindfilledwithletters
Summary: The country goes on lockdown the moment Kurt drops off the divorce papers.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 127
Kudos: 119





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so here's my take on Klaine in lockdown. I hope you like it and I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.

With a heavy heart and a pile of files under his arm, Kurt rang the bell to Blaine's apartment.

"Kurt is that you?" 

"Hmm," Kurt supplied, not granting Blaine more of an answer. The door buzzed and Kurt pushed it open. He walked down the hallway, stopped in front of the bin to dispose of the tissue he had used to ring the bell and open the door. He took all necessary precautions, there was no way in hell he would catch this virus because some dirty pig forgot to wash their hands. 

Normally he would take the 6 flights of stairs to Blaine's apartment, but the heavy file that burned in his arms made him take the lift up. He cursed himself for disposing of the tissue already. He took a deep breath and pressed the button to the 6th floor. 

Kurt let out a sigh of relief once he arrived at the sixth floor. No one had entered the lift as well. He had kept a safe distance from everyone so far. It would be hard to keep that distance once he arrived at Blaine's apartment, no matter how much he'd like to. 

Kurt's legs took him to the all too familiar door. He had a key, but it felt wrong to use it. He didn't even have to knock on the door, it opened before his knuckle met wood. 

"Hi," Blaine said, but he was disturbed by a loud sound. A sirene went off. Both men looked around themselves to note where the sound was coming from, but neither could place it. 

Kurt frowned, "what's that? What's happening?" Blaine just shrugged. 

Just after the alarm stopped blaring, their phones went off. "Just come in already," Blaine told Kurt as he thumbed his phone out of his pocket.

Kurt passed Blaine and waited for him to explain what was going on. "No, you've got to be kidding me. Shit," Blaine muttered. 

"What?" Kurt asked, getting annoyed that Blaine hadn't told him what this was all about yet. 

"We're on lockdown," Blaine said, he frowned at Kurt, who was muttering curse words under his breath. 

"Okay, well it was nice seeing you Blaine," Kurt said, taking the manila file out of his back and pushing it into Blaine's chest. 2 metres of distance be damned, he needed to get out of there. He could not be cooped up inside a tiny apartment with Blaine.

Kurt didn't have the patience to wait for the lift to jet up to the sixth floor. He took the stairs and tried to get down the stairs as fast as possible.

Of course luck wasn't on his side and he tripped. He had to grip the dirty banister to stable himself. He took a deep breath once again and looked at his hand in disgust. He shook his head to get out of it, he needed to get out of here. There needed to be space between him and Blaine.

His hands were germ filled already, so Kurt didn't care and roughly pushed open the door of the stairwell. He continued to the front door and pushed it open with the same ferociousness.

Once he was outside, he walked straight into a soldier. He didn't notice the man though, "watch where you're going," Kurt sneered.

"Excuse me sir," the soldier reacted. Kurt wanted to go on, but when he caught a climpse of army green, he stopped in his traces. 

"Oh my, I'm sorry, I uhm I didn't mean to," Kurt stumbled. The uniform did the trick. 

"Where are you going?" Kurt's eyebrows knitted in confusion. Why would they ask such an invasive question. 

"Excuse me, I'm going home," Kurt said, indicating that he was done with the conversation. 

"Sir, I have to ask you to go back inside the building, we cannot allow anyone to roam the streets. We are on lockdown. You can only leave the facility with a slip downloaded from the government website," the soldier explained. 

"I cannot go back in there," Kurt stated. He looked around if he could possibly escape the burly man in front of him. 

"I don't have time to deal with this. Could you please comply, sir," the soldier almost begged Kurt. 

"No, I refuse to go inside. I cannot be faced with my husband," Kurt shook his head, "soon to be ex-husband. I just dropped off the divorce papers." 

"Look mate," the soldier changed his tone to slightly threatening, clearly losing his patience. "That's an awful situation to be in, but I have been instructed to keep everyone inside. This is your problem to deal with, not mine. Now please go back inside." 

Kurt didn't want to, but his legs carried him back to the apartment building. He took the key he hadn't returned to Blaine yet out of his pocket and opened the door. He debated whether he should go up and beg Blaine if he could stay with him or if there was any better solution. They hadn't been that friendly with their neighbours. Sure, there were niceties, but spending the unforeseeable future with a near stranger was not what Kurt wanted. He didn't want to stay with Blaine either, but it seemed the better option of the two. 

Kurt took one more glance outside to see if the burly soldier was still there. When he didn't see him, he slipped out of the building again. Maybe he could make it home after all. He frantically looked around for a cab, but there were none in sight. 

"Hey, didn't I just tell you to go back inside," the soldier had spotted Kurt before he did the soldier. Kurt silently cursed himself. He wouldn't be able to escape, would he? 

"If you get me a cab I'll be home in half an hour," Kurt begged him. 

"That means you'd be on the street for 30 minutes too long. Please go back inside sir. If I see you out here another time, I will have to register you," the soldier warned. Kurt felt panic rise in his chest. He was not a criminal, nor did he ever want a criminal offense to his name. 

"I-I I'll go back inside. I'm sorry for the inconvenience I have caused," Kurt excused himself, making his way back into the building. This time he would not be able to escape. He would have to spend the unforeseeable future locked up in a tiny apartment with his husband? Ex-husband? How would they ever survive that? In their last months together they couldn't stop fighting and if they did, it was only to engage in some rage-filled sex. 

Kurt felt ashamed as he slowly ascended the stairs. He dreaded knocking on Blaine's door. He felt like a charity case and that was not how Kurt Hummel was supposed to feel. Not even close, he was always the one providing charity to others. 

Once Kurt stood in front of Blaine's door again, he looked at the key he was still holding. He decided against using it, Blaine deserved a chance to turn him down. Instead, he knocked. 

Blaine opened the door, looking surprised once he took in who was in front of it. "Kurt?" 

"Blaine. I don't know how to ask this, but can I stay here?" Kurt didn't dare to look Blaine in the eye, it was simply too embarrassing. 

"Why?" Blaine asked, but he moved his body out of the way to let Kurt in. 

"I bumped into this soldier and he refused to let me go anywhere except for here," Kurt explained. Blaine's eyebrows were knitted in question. 

"What? That's absurd." 

"I didn't want this either Blaine, but if I try to go out again, they might register me," Kurt was annoyed at this point. He was unsure why he had made himself do this, it couldn't possibly end well. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine muttered. He closed the door behind him and followed Kurt into the apartment. Kurt rushed to the sink to wash his hands, he had touched more than he would've liked too, even without a very contagious disease going around. 

Once he was done washing his hands, Kurt didn't know what to do. He hadn't been inside the apartment for just a little over three months. It was weird how somehow everything had changed, yet nothing at all. 

"I thought you hated that painting," Kurt said, motioning to the painting hanging above the sofa. 

Blaine shrugged, "I didn't have the heart to take it down." Blaine looked around the apartment, probably noticing the same things Kurt did. 

"I- uhm- I'll just stay in the bedroom, you can have the rest," Blaine said, trying to leave the kitchen/living room area as fast as possible. 

"No," Kurt firmly said, "No, if I'm staying here, then we'll handle this situation like adults." 

"As if that worked out so well for us last time, hm," Blaine said, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

"Blaine please," Kurt pleaded. He tried to lock eyes with Blaine, something he had avoided thus far. "But if I am that much of an annoyance to you, I'll just try to climb out of the window when evening falls." 

"Are you crazy? We live on the sixth floor, Kurt!" 

"You live on the sixth floor, Blaine," Kurt snapped back. 

"I might live here, but this is still as much your apartment as it is mine," Blaine said softly. He hung his head, but once he looked up again, his eyes locked with Kurt's. 

Kurt breached the distance between them and took Blaine's hands in his. "Do you really mean that?" 

Blaine shrugged, letting his hands fall out of Kurt's grip.


	2. Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the comments/kudos/hits, I didn't expect that to happen. I'm quite overwhelmed by all that to be honest. I hope I can meet all your expectations.

With the morning sun on his face, Kurt awoke in what had once been his and Blaine's lovenest. He looked at the other side of the bed, which was vacant and cold. Blaine hadn't sneaked in during the night. Taking in the scene hurt his heart a little. How had they even gotten there? How had their marriage declined so quickly, moreover why had they allowed to let it happen? Everywhere he looked, he found painful memories of happier times. He didn't understand how Blaine possibly made it through the last three months. Blaine had always loved so intensely, that Kurt couldn't imagine him mourning their marriage in any other way. 

Kurt heard some rummaging, it took him a second to realise that it was Blaine in the en-suite bathroom. Not much later, Blaine slipped into the bedroom. Kurt pretended to be asleep, he couldn't face Blaine. He didn't want Blaine to see the pain on his face. 

"Kurt, I know you're awake," Blaine commented as he opened the doors of the closet. Kurt pushed up the blanket a little, allowing himself to peek at Blaine. He hadn't prepared himself for the vision in front of him. Blaine was boxer-clad, he still had some drops of water on his back, which shone in the sunlight. Kurt felt his body react, the longing in his heart intensified. 

Blaine put a t-shirt over his head and turned his body towards Kurt. Kurt quickly nuzzled the blankets again. He didn't want to be caught ogling Blaine. He listened closely to what Blaine was doing, he seemed to be putting on a pair of joggers, judging by the sound of the slightly stuck drawer. He wasn't sure if Blaine still kept his joggers there, which sent another jolt through his heart. "Kurt, we've been married for three years. I can tell when you're faking being asleep. If you want to shower, the towels are still in the same place. Yes, I took mine from the floor and no, I won't put it over the suede chair."

Kurt wanted to chuckle at the comment, but he kept it in. They had fought endlessly about the most stupid things. Every tiny annoyance seemed to turn into a screaming fit. They just weren't able to put things in perspective anymore. 

"Anyway, I'll be out of your hair now. I'll put on the kettle, feel free to join me for breakfast," Kurt heard Blaine softly close the door behind him, another thing they had bickered about. Blaine had a habit of forcefully closing doors and cabinets, something Kurt didn't appreciate when he was still trying to sleep. Besides that, they had neighbours. 

Once Kurt heard Blaine close the cabinets, he groaned. But at the same time, he was also thankful. He wasn't sure whether Blaine had intentionally done it, but knowing Blaine, he probably had. Kurt pushed the blankets down until they pooled his ankles. He stretched his long limbs, hitting the headboard. "Ouch," he groaned, rubbing the knuckle that had connected with the clothed board. He looked at the closet that once held his clothes and sighed. He needed something to wear, but it felt wrong to open up the closet. That was Blaine's now. The night before, Blaine had handed him a pair of joggers, they had always shared them, so it didn't feel that weird. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but when he'd packed up his clothes, he had taken the pair Blaine used to wear when they were younger.

A sigh escaped Kurt's lips as he walked into the bathroom. His array of skincare products was gone but other than that it still looked the same. He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed how tired he looked. He hadn't been sleeping well. The combination of the contagious virus and the divorce hanging over his head had proven to be too much. It made for sleepless nights. 

He slipped into the shower and tried to drown all his sorrows. He willed the darker thoughts to leave his head. He watched them go down the drain, although he wondered for how long. How long would he be able to be in the same room as Blaine? How many days could they go without fighting? It had never turned violent, but Kurt feared it would. He wasn't violent and neither was Blaine, but the tensions could just be too much. They were only human. There he was again, a head filled with troubled thoughts. He shook his head, hoping it would make him lose them. 

He rigorously washed his body, trying to wash away the memories he saw in every corner of the small apartment. He could almost feel Blaine's fingers on his skin as he closed his eyes to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. Blaine just kept on following him and not only figuratively. When he stepped out of the shower, he rubbed his skin dry so harshly it turned red. It took some effort to do so as the towel was still as soft as he liked them to be. Blaine liked a little body to a towel, but Kurt didn't. 

"Stupid Blaine," he muttered. He slipped back into the joggers he'd slept in as they were the only item he had brought in with him. He decided to forego the pair of underwear he'd worn as they were dirty and no matter what situation, Kurt valued cleanliness. 

Walking back into the bedroom, Kurt noticed a box on the freshly made bed. On top of the box was a pair of Blaine's boxers. He traced his fingers over the delicate fabric of the boxers, memories flooding his mind once again. He didn't want to wear them. He didn't want to wear anything that made him feel like Blaine's husband. He just couldn't handle that level of intimacy. However, if he didn't wear them, Blaine would know he was commando, another image he didn't want to give Blaine. He simply could not win. 

Kurt moved back to the bathroom, boxers in hand. He hesitated, but still put on the pair of boxers. They were slightly too big on him. Blaine always had more bum to fill out jeans, something he'd sometimes been jealous about. It was better than nothing, he kept repeating to himself. 

In the bedroom again, he opened the box. It was filled to the brim with his clothes. He had packed his clothes into boxes and collected them over the weeks as he couldn't carry all of them back to his apartment in one go. He thought he'd gotten them all, but he must've forgotten this one. He pulled the clothes out, looking if he could put together an outfit with them. He couldn't. There were quite some random pieces in there. When he took a better look, he noticed that it wasn't a random selection of clothes. Most of these had sentimental value. 

Kurt blinked back some tears. He hadn't put all those together, which meant that someone else had. Blaine had. Blaine had purposely kept these clothes. He wanted to be angry at Blaine for taking his clothes, but he hadn't missed them yet. It had been three months and he hadn't missed them. Admittedly, he hadn't unpacked all the boxes yet. He simply didn't have the energy to dress nicely. He hadn't taken any joy in redecorating his new place either. His life had been dull the last couple of months. They had never had that spark they'd had when he and Blaine were still together. Even when they were fighting some of that spark had remained.

In the end, he pulled some random items from the box, shoving the rest back in it. He didn't care whether they were folded neatly or not. 

The next hurdle he'd have to get over was seeing Blaine again. Blaine had offered him the safety of the bedroom the night before. He would have control here, there wasn't much Blaine could do in the bedroom that he couldn't in the living room. 

Kurt took a deep breath, he could do this. He could face Blaine. He pushed the door open before he could back out again. He saw Blaine sitting at the kitchen table. He was staring at something. As Kurt approached Blaine, he could see that Blaine's eyes were fixed on the manila folder he dropped off the day before. "What are you doing?" Kurt asked. 

"Good morning to you too," Blaine said, avoiding the question Kurt asked him. Kurt nodded to him as he made his way to the fridge to prepare breakfast for himself. He opened the door and was perplexed when he saw the fridge half empty. Taking the yoghurt out, he shook his head in disbelief. He slammed the yoghurt on the kitchen counter and pulled open all cabinets. Blaine barely had anything stored away. 

"Blaine," Kurt hissed. He couldn't believe how unprepared Blaine was for the situation they were in. Kurt would've never left the cupboard half empty. He always stocked up for at least two weeks, simply out of habit. 

"What?" Blaine asked, voice verging on annoyance. "What have I done now?" 

"Why is your fridge empty? And the cabinets. You have nothing. How can you be that unprepared?" 

"I live by myself Kurt, I don't need much." 

"Oh sure, I'm sorry, I forgot," Kurt said, his eyes aflame. He was filled with rage, how could Blaine be that unresponsible. If he'd fallen ill, he would've starved to death. 

"Blaine, you need to take this situation seriously." 

"I'm sure dropping off divorce papers was necessary as well. Didn't they tell us only to go out for urgent matters?" Blaine was schooling Kurt now, who was cowering away. 

"I just- I couldn't keep them," Kurt said defeatedly. 

"What do you want me to buy?" Blaine asked, changing the subject. That's what always happened, they didn't talk about their wrongs. They just ignored the conversation until it would be mentioned again during their next fight. That, or they'd fall into bed together. 

"You don't have to buy me anything, I'm sorry," Kurt said. "If we want to go to the supermarket, we need a paper slip you can download on the government's website." 

"Do we need to print it?" Blaine asked with a pained expression on his face, knowing the next fight was looming over them. 

"I think so?" Kurt pulled out his phone to check. "Yes, we do." 

"Fuck," Blaine muttered. 

"Please don't tell me you didn't buy a new printer," Kurt looked Blaine dead in the eye. They lived in the 21st century, you couldn't not own a printer. 

"No, Kurt. I did not buy a new printer. I can print at work, that's fine. I don't need to buy a new one of everything you took with you." 

"Aaargh," Kurt let out in frustration. "So, we'll just die here then. If that stupid virus doesn't get us, then starvation will." 

"Will it ever cross your mind that you. Don't. Have. To. Be. So. Dramatic," Blaine said, punctuating every word at the end of the sentence. 

"Maybe if you'd stocked up properly. Or if I could've just gone home, then nothing would be wrong right now." 

"Sure, Kurt. If that's what you believe." 

"Yes, in fact I do," Kurt spat the words into Blaine's face. He resolutely turned around and slammed the door of the bedroom close behind him. 

"Kurt, we have neighbours," Blaine screamed after him. Kurt groaned in response, he hated it when Blaine used his words against him. 

It took 10 minutes until Blaine was softly knocking on the door. "Kurt, can I come in?" 

Kurt had been sitting against the door. He moved out of the way and opened the door. He couldn't stay mad at Blaine, he had never been able to. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine said earnestly. "It's just-," Blaine said, his eyes tracing over Kurt's upper body, "you wore that on our first date." 

Kurt looked at the cardigan he had put on, Blaine was right. He had worn that to their first date.


	3. Day Three

Kurt stood in front of the window, watching the night sky. The city looked death, no one was walking by. No cabs sifting through the streets. No lights, just pitch-black darkness. In some of the apartments across the street, lights were burning. Kurt imagined the lives of the people living there. A student who was working on their essay. A couple engaged in lovemaking. An elderly lady who couldn't sleep and decided to knit a bit instead. A bachelor watching nighttime television. They all had something to keep them busy, something Kurt envied them for. All he had were his thoughts and they hadn't been very happy from the moment he set foot in the apartment. 

He sat back down on the couch, his bed for the night. He tried to smoothen the crick in his neck. Blaine had been right, the sofa had been anything but comfortable. Kurt still needed it though, style over comfort he had argued. Blaine had given in, he couldn't deny that the couch was wonderful and would fit their interior perfectly. Looking back on it, Kurt should've listened to Blaine. This was no sofa for sleeping on, sitting at best. 

Blaine had wanted him to take the bed again, as he barely fit on the couch. But Kurt couldn't accept it. The idea of being a charity case getting too strong. He also felt undeserving of sleeping in the bed. He had marched into Blaine's safe haven. It wasn't willingly, but it had still happened. He had also been a dick to Blaine during the day. He hadn't wanted to start criticising Blaine the moment he set foot in the kitchen that morning, but it still happened. Seeing Blaine triggered him. It brought out the worst in him, yet part of him also liked to see the other man again. 

Before laying back down on the couch to try and catch some more sleep, Kurt went to the toilet. Getting there meant walking through the bedroom. He slowly pushed the door to the bedroom open. Blaine was a heavy sleeper, but he still didn't want to wake him. He let his eyes go to the bed to look at Blaine. He looked lonely clasping a pillow to his chest. Kurt also noticed how he still slept on his side of the bed. With an aching heart, he made it to the bathroom and relieved himself. 

Walking back he couldn't help it. He slipped into bed with Blaine. He didn't have a pillow as he didn't have the heart to pry it out of Blaine's arms, but it felt right to be there. He watched Blaine sleep, the calming rising and falling of his chest. Kurt slowly traced Blaine's fingers, something he'd always liked doing. He was careful not to wake the other man so after a bit, he stopped touching him. He simply stared and stared until he fell asleep. He hadn't planned on falling asleep but somehow it had happened. 

-

When Kurt woke up in the morning, he had a body wrapped around his own. The pillow Blaine had been holding onto had somehow vanished and been replaced by Kurt. They were sharing a pillow as well. Kurt panicked slightly, although he felt most at peace he had in a long time. 

His eyes fluttered open and he moved to look if Blaine was awake as well. He was, he was consciously holding Kurt, morning wood nestled against Kurt's thigh. He didn't look very awake, so the abnormalcy of the situation hadn't kicked in yet. Before either could say something, their mouths met. They shared a soft, but passionate kiss. Kurt didn't know who initiated it, but it didn't really matter. 

Instead of pushing Blaine off of him, which he should've done, he pulled Blaine on top of him. Blaine happily obliged and let Kurt snake his arms around his waist. Kurt skidded his fingers over the soft skin on Blaine's back. Blaine purred and started moving his hips against Kurt's ever so slowly. 

Kurt groaned and flipped them over, taking control of the situation, like he knew Blaine loved. He let Blaine catch his breath as he moved down to attach his lips to Blaine's stomach. Kurt lightly sucked on Blaine's v-line, moving a teasing hand over Blaine's cock before pulling down his boxers.

"You too," Blaine breathed once he noticed he was the only one naked. 

Kurt shook his head, "patience." Kurt wrapped his lips around Blaine's aching erection. He swirled his tongue around the head, looking at Blaine to see what reaction he elicited. He knew damn well what Blaine liked, just like Blaine knew Kurt was teasing him mercilessly. Blaine laced his fingers through Kurt's hair, teasing him right back. 

"Do you -" Kurt didn't even have to finish the sentence, just looking at the upper-drawer of the nightstand was enough to get Blaine to nod. Blaine twisted around to open the drawer and get the lube out. He handed it to Kurt, who was still working Blaine's cock with his mouth. 

Kurt popped open the bottle of lube, coating his fingers generously before bringing them to Blaine's entrance. Blaine hissed once Kurt's cold fingers met with his warm behind. Kurt slowly pushed a digit inside, unsure how loose Blaine would be. The lack of resistance made Kurt's heart ache a little, but he shook his head. He couldn't think about that now, he quickly repressed the feeling. Maybe Blaine had simply enjoyed fingering himself or had he used the dildo they had once bought together on a drunken night. 

Kurt entered another finger, scissoring Blaine open. He tried not to, but couldn't help watching Blaine's face. Blaine was expressive as ever. That man was an open book, or to Kurt at least.

"I- I need you," Blaine said, sharing a lingering look with Kurt. Kurt nodded, taking his fingers out of Blaine. He wasn't sure how well he had prepared Blaine, but that wasn't important now. Kurt wiped his fingers on the jogging bottoms he was still wearing. After cleaning his fingers, he traced them over Blaine's abs in a teasing matter. "Kurt," Blaine hissed, talking like he always did. 

Kurt took off his joggers and boxers in one go. He looked at Blaine, who was hungrily eyeing his leaking cock. Kurt chuckled softly at Blaine, no matter how often they'd do this, Blaine always sported that face. He made grabby hands at Kurt, once the latter was stuck in motion staring at the other. The movement of Blaine's hand broke Kurt's trance, he quickly moved to hover over Blaine again. He rested his hands next to Blaine's head as he joined their erections. 

"Kurt, don't," Blaine said, looking at Kurt with big pleading eyes. Kurt grinned again, enjoying the effect he still had on Blaine. 

Blaine decided Kurt was taking too long, so he took matters into his own hands. He felt around for the discarded bottle of lube and squirted some into his hand once he found it. He reached for Kurt's cock and lubed it up. Moving his hand over it just the way Kurt liked it. He showed Kurt it was all about giving and taking. 

"Okay, okay," Kurt laughed, pushing Blaine's hand away. Blaine wrapped his legs around Kurt's waist, giving Kurt all the access he needed. Kurt guided his cock as he slid into Blaine. He took his time, letting Blaine get used to being full again. "So good," Blaine muttered, "just move." Blaine didn't wait for Kurt to bottom out. 

Kurt obeyed and started moving, his lips found Blaine's again, connecting them in every way possible. In that moment, they were practically one. 

They worked together towards their orgasms as a well-oiled machine. Blaine kept his legs tightly wrapped around Kurt. Kurt couldn't move away from him unless Blaine allowed him to. He didn't have to. He could work his hips in the proximity Blaine had captured them in. 

"I'm close," Blaine whimpered. Kurt had barely spoken, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Blaine had always been the babbler out of the two of them, but normally Kurt contributed to the conversation as well. 

Blaine loosened the hold his legs had on Kurt as he slowly started to lose control of his limbs. Kurt moved his hips a bit more wildly, he slammed into Blaine as he neared his orgasm as well. Kurt suckled on Blaine's collarbone, sending him over the edge. Feeling Blaine clench around him did it as well for Kurt. He released in Blaine and collapsed on top of him. 

Kurt rode out his orgasm and slipped out of Blaine. He rolled off of him and rested against the mattress, panting heavily. Blaine reached out and linked his hand with Kurt's. Kurt had been staring at the ceiling but turned his head to look at Blaine, who was facing him already. "Shit," Kurt muttered, once he realised what they'd just done. 

"Please," Blaine pleaded as he saw realisation washing over Kurt. Kurt ripped his hand out of Blaine's and pushed down the covers. He gathered the clothes he'd left on the floor and locked himself in the bathroom.

A part of him wanted to get in the shower and scrub away the morning. Another part of him cursed himself for leaving Blaine like that. It never should've happened, but leaving Blaine might've been an even bigger mistake. How was he ever going to face Blaine after that? He wasn't sure who had initiated it, but by leaving like that, he sure as hell sent the message that it wasn't okay. And to be honest, it wasn't. But they would still have to be together for at least a couple more weeks. How were they gonna do that?

Kurt stepped into the shower, not showering was not an option. He needed to wash the smell of sex off of his body. He didn't rub his body as harshly as he'd done the day before. He was simply numb. He didn't know what to do. He'd come here to drop the divorce papers off for God's sake. He took his time getting dressed again, trying to find a properly coordinated outfit. Blaine had left the box with his clothes in the bathroom the night before. Thinking about possible outfits kept his mind of the looming day ahead. 

He opened the bathroom door a little, peeking through to see if Blaine was still in the bedroom. He wasn't, so Kurt slipped out examining his outfit in the mirror. It worked, it wasn't the best he'd ever looked. But he'd looked worse as well. 

Kurt couldn't face Blaine, simple as that. "I'm going to the deli around the corner," Kurt screamed into the apartment as he faced the front door. He took a key off the small high table next to the door, another thing Blaine had seen as a luxury, whereas it was a necessity for Kurt. 

He walked out of the apartment, nearly bumping into one of the neighbours. He was so out of it that he didn't even send a snide comment their way. Just before entering the stairwell, he realised he didn't have the paper slip he needed to be allowed on the street. Blaine didn't have a printer, so they wouldn't be able to get one either. He still downloaded the form onto his phone and filled it out to the best of his ability. It was better than nothing. 

He walked to the deli and bought himself a smoothie bowl, which he consumed inside the shop. He wasn't allowed to linger, but he still did. 

"I'm sorry sir, you're not allowed to be here anymore," one of the workers called from the till they were behind. "I wish you could stay, it looks as if you're dreading going home. But if I allow you, they might make me close my shop and I just can't afford it," the employer, or as it appeared, the owner explained. Kurt shrugged, he knew he was putting others in danger. 

He got himself together. Kurt Hummel was raised to be a kind boy, not a dick. If he could prevent putting others in danger, he would. So he picked himself up and went back to the apartment building. Instead of going up to the sixth floor, he roamed around. He just couldn't face Blaine yet. 

He was doing his round on the third floor when the doorman approached him. "I've seen you walking around on the second and first floor, sir. Can you please just go to your own apartment. We're trying not to spread a virus and you're not really helping."

Kurt sighed, but agreed. He was slightly embarrassed the man had seen him stalling on camera footage. He had no other choice now than to return to Blaine's apartment. So off he went to the sixth floor. He knocked, respecting Blaine's privacy. He knew Blaine wouldn't throw him out, he was too kind-hearted for that. Especially in a situation like the current, but Kurt did it out of the respect he had for Blaine and his boundaries. 

"Is that you Kurt?" Blaine asked. "Just use the damn key, I know you took it with you." 

It wasn't the worst thing Blaine could've said, but somehow it still stung. It didn't prepare Kurt for what he'd find inside the apartment. 

Kurt slowly pushed the key into the hole and twisted it. Taking as much time as possible to prepare himself for seeing Blaine again. "Hi," he said as he stepped inside, trying to sound cheerful. Blaine didn't reply. 

Kurt hung his jacket on the coatrack and advanced into the kitchen/living room where Blaine was seated at the kitchen table. He was once again staring at the manila folder, but now a stack of white paper was in front of him, a pen resting on top of it. 

"What have you done Blaine?" Kurt asked, already knowing the answer. 

"I signed them," Blaine said, pushing the stack away from him. He cursed as it earned him a papercut. 

"Why?" Kurt looked at him, hurt clearly displayed on his face. 

"I thought that would make you happy," Blaine said in a pained voice. "I know what just happened shouldn't have and I'm showing you just how wrong it was by signing these."

Kurt didn't want to cry, so he tried to swallow down the increasing lump in his throat. 

"And because we decided we'd be better off alone. Because you called a lawyer and filed for divorce," Blaine said softly as he looked Kurt in the eye. His eyes were big and pleading, shining with tears of his own "because your signature looked lonely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the smut wasn't too terrible. I don't really like writing it and I don't think it's any good, but it had to happen for the story. Thank you for reading!


	4. Day Four

It wasn't doable anymore. He couldn't be in close proximity to Blaine any longer. They were now officially ex-husbands. Well, not officially since it hadn't been officiated yet. But their signatures were there. It was as official as it could get between the two of them. There was no them anymore.

Kurt continued to see happy memories in every corner of the small apartment. Those times had long gone, but he still cherished them. Although at the moment it would be easier not to see it. Blaine's signature had sucked all of the happiness and hope he was still feeling out of him. Maybe he had felt a flicker of hope at being stuck here with Blaine. Admittedly, he had been the one to screw it up. Maybe if he hadn't fled yesterday, things would be different. But talking about what-ifs had never made anyone happier.

Blaine had holed himself up in the bedroom, just like he'd promised he would on that first day.

Kurt had tried to sleep on the couch but to no avail. He'd even tried the suede armchair, which wasn't much better. He'd just given up on sleeping at some point. His thoughts were too loud, they seemed to be bouncing off the walls, screaming into his face. There had been a point during the night when he wanted to scream on top of his lungs to try to shut out the voices. He didn't in the end, reminding himself about the countless times he had rebuked Blaine for being too loud. Whether that was slamming the doors or singing a little too enthusiastically or even his groans during very passionate sex. Kurt did not want to become known as the loud ones from the sixth floor.

At 7 AM, he went to inspect the fridge for food. 7 AM was a respectable time to be up, he reasoned. It had just gotten light outside as well, so there really was no point in trying to sleep anymore. Kurt would be going on until he was so exhausted that his body gave out and made him sleep.

He prepared breakfast for himself and made some coffee. He checked the news, something he'd avoided the past couple of days as nothing good came out of it. More and more people were infected and the number of deaths seemed to climb each passing second. It just weren't the vibes he needed. Blaine, on the other hand, had been hogging the news. He'd tried to talk to Kurt about it, finding out pretty quickly Kurt didn't make for a good conversation partner in that regard.

Once the clock stroke 8.30 AM, Kurt didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He debated waking up Blaine, although he knew he wouldn't be able to have a normal conversation with the man. The best thing for him would be to go back home, but he assumed he wouldn't be allowed to. The more he thought about it, the more he was determined to make it back to his own loft. He missed having a space to himself. This lockdown would be perfect for sewing some new garments, he had enough sketches and fabrics lying around to actually make it work. He was almost longing for loneliness.

This morning had been very different from the one before. Back then he'd been happily wrapped up in Blaine, just shy of having sex with him. It had been wonderful to be that close to him again. Kurt had missed bodily contact. He didn't want to admit it, but he'd missed having sex with Blaine more than he'd missed cuddling him. He could get the cuddles elsewhere, but the intimacy of sex was something he'd only shared with a handful of people. Blaine being his favourite out of all of them as they had connected on a far deeper level as well.

He deeply missed Blaine although he was in the other room of the apartment. However, every part of his mind told him not to go back to Blaine. They needed distance to process that everything was really done now. Once the lockdown was over, Kurt would bring the divorce papers to his lawyer, who'd make sure to finalise the divorce.

Kurt couldn't just up and leave, he didn't want to put Blaine through that. One time after a fight Blaine had left their apartment building and wandered around the streets of the city for hours. Kurt had been so worried about him, that he promised himself to never do that to anyone he loved. Sometimes he fantasised about leaving Blaine in such a panic, but afterwards, he'd always feel awful for it. The immense worry he'd felt would always wash over him again, he never wanted to put anyone through that if he could help it.

That's why he found himself knocking on the bedroom door a couple of minutes later. On the other side, Blaine hummed, not giving Kurt much to work with. Kurt pushed the door open to find Blaine buried in the sheets. He didn't seem to be much better off than Kurt. His hair was extremely tousled and he seemed to have black-rimmed eyes.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered, trying to get his attention. Blaine fleetingly looked at Kurt, but his eyes didn't focus on the man by the door. "I think it's for the better if I try to get back to my own home. We clearly can't be in the same space together."

"Funny you say that now, hm," Blaine sounded salty as he said it, which made Kurt wince. "I thought we were supposed to handle this situation like adults."

"I think we've proven that we can't," Kurt retorted. Blaine's eyes were spitting fire, although there was a layer of sadness to them as well.

"But good luck, Kurt," Blaine said, emphasis on Kurt. "I wish you the best for the remainder of your life."

If Kurt hadn't known any better, he would've thought Blaine threatened him. He had hoped for another goodbye than he'd gotten, but he wasn't surprised by how Blaine acted. He could imagine Blaine was hurting as well.

Kurt rummaged through the washing to find the outfit he'd come in. Blaine could keep the rest, but he'd be returning that one to his home. He closed the curtain on the front and changed into the clothes, neatly folding the jogging bottoms Blaine had borrowed him and placing them on the coffee table. He staggered over to the kitchen table dreading looking at it, but he knew he had to. Blaine probably wouldn't welcome him back in to collect the papers. Kurt took the manila folder in his arms. He looked around if there was anything he was forgetting, he wasn't. He gathered his bag and took his coat off the peg it was hanging on. He took in the apartment one last time and opened the door. His eyes lingered on the high table with keys on it, but he didn't take a key. He needed to be certain about this, bringing a key would only give him bad luck.

He took the lift down again, waved at the doorman who had reprimanded him the day before. He pushed open the door to another world, this was it. He was leaving Blaine and what they'd shared behind for good.

Kurt hadn't thought this plan through, he would need a cab to get back to his place. It was a 30-minute cab ride, it would take ages for him to actually walk home. Approximately 4 hours, if he didn't take a wrong turn that is. He sighed, thoroughly discouraged. Maybe he'd find someone willing to give him a ride after all. He set off in the direction of his home.

Kurt had been walking for half an hour when he first encountered someone else. "Sir, can I please see your papers."

He ground his teeth, he hadn't wanted to run into an official. So, he sighed and showed his phone to the man, a woman walked up to the man to assist him. "What are you doing here?" The man questioned.

"I'm on my way home," Kurt said innocently. "From this address?" The man asked again, looking at Kurt questioningly.

"Uhm, yes?" Kurt was praying to a God he didn't believe in that they would help get him home.

"How long have you been walking for?" The woman asked this time.

"Just a while?" She gave him a smile, "You must've been walking for at least 15 minutes." Kurt nodded, not having it in him to lie. They would see right through it anyway.

"How long would it take for you to get home?" Kurt looked thoughtful, "another 15 minutes." He had just lied to an official, he risked getting a fine for that. He wasn't technically lying though, with the lack of traffic, he would make it home in 15 minutes per cab. That's not exactly what they asked him though.

"What's the address of your final destination?" Kurt gave the official his address. He knew they wouldn't allow him to go home. He'd be lucky if he got out of there without a fine.

"You would have to walk a little less than 4 hours to get there," the woman noted. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to return to the address on your paper. We cannot allow you to be outside for this long. Moreover, you're only allowed to go out for necessities. Going home does not seem to be a necessity. You've stayed at this address for four consecutive days already."

"But," Kurt tried, the man fixed him with a glare. Kurt directed his attention to the woman, "please." She didn't immediately shut him down. "I was dropping off the divorce papers at my ex-husband's when the lockdown was announced. He signed them yesterday and I just cannot stay there."

"I'm very sorry about that, sweetie," the lady said, compassion in her eyes. "We just can't allow you to go there."

"Can't you get me a cab, please, anything?" He pleaded, he started to lose hope. He was absolutely desperate. "We can get you a ride back to this address," the man said, pointing to Blaine's address on the screen. "Please," he said another time, tears threatening to spill now.

"We don't have time for this, you can get into the car that will be arriving in a few, or I'll need to fine you," the woman said, she'd be nice up until then, but now her no-nonsense attitude was showing. He hung his head but nodded. He would have to go back to Blaine's apartment, he had no choice. Well, he could knock on the door of one of the neighbours, but that still didn't seem appealing. He also wouldn't be able to stay in the hallway as the doorman had already caught him once.

Once the car arrived, Kurt didn't even try to talk the driver into taking him to his apartment. He knew it would be pointless and he didn't want to risk getting a fine. The driver dropped him off in front of Blaine's apartment building. Kurt sort of cursed himself for not bringing a key, but that had to be something of the past.

Kurt reluctantly pushed the button to ring the bell of Blaine's apartment. "Hello, who is this? Kurt? You're not welcome here anymore."

"Blaine, please," Kurt pleaded, something he seemed to be doing an awful lot the past hour.

"You left Kurt. It was your choice, don't tell me it was a wrong decision now," Blaine sounded awfully cold.

"I tried to go away, I really did and I wish I could go home, but they won't allow me, Blaine."

"Is this another one of your fantasies?" Blaine said downright hostile now.

"Blaine, I swear on the grave of my mother that I tried everything to get home. I was held back by two officials, they didn't allow me to go any further. They put me in a car and drove me back here. I begged them to take me to my apartment, but they refused."

"They should've just taken you to jail."

"Blaine," Kurt stammered, "you don't mean that."

"Maybe I do." Blaine's voice sounded a lot less confident. Kurt simply didn't know what to say.

The door buzzed and sprang open, Kurt quickly pushed it so that he could go inside.

"Hi," the doorman said as he saw Kurt again. "Everything alright?"

"No, nothing's alright," Kurt replied honestly. The doorman nodded at him, "I thought so, you seemed pretty out of it yesterday and you look even worse now."

"Thanks," Kurt said, he couldn't help but smile. "What's the matter? Anything I can help you with?"

"The only way you could help me is by offering me a place to stay," Kurt muttered, he felt the tiniest bit of hope seep in.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you in that department. I could offer a listening ear though." Kurt shrugged, it probably wouldn't help much.

"Thank you, I'll try my luck at my ex-husband's." The eyebrows of the doorman shot up. "I'm sorry, good luck and please don't murder one another."

Kurt took the lift up again, still carrying the file that seemed to be getting heavier each passing second. He sighed, he thought he dreaded seeing Blaine yesterday, but it was nothing compared to how he felt now. It was as if he was nailed to the floor and had to denail himself with each step. He dragged himself to Blaine's door. He was a bit surprised to see that it was ajar already.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked as he stepped inside, softly closing the door behind him. He toed off his shoes and hung his jacket back on the peg he'd taken it from earlier.

"I'm in the bedroom. This is my sanctuary. You can have the rest of the place. Please knock on the door if you need to use the bathroom so that I can move out of the way."

"But you have to eat? You can't just stay in that room all the time," Kurt argued, he didn't know why he seemed to care so much.

"I need more things, like you not being in my home, but not everything is possible, Kurt."

"That's low Blaine, you know that I don't like being here as much as you dislike having me here," Kurt said. Blaine had sounded really angry, he was honestly scared.

"Oh is that so, then why don't you fucking go elsewhere," Blaine pulled open the door, Kurt flinched and took a step backwards, hitting the wall. Blaine took another step in his direction, he was fuming and Kurt was scared.

"You are not going to hit me," Kurt said, eyeing Blaine's balled fists.

"Do not fucking tell me what I can or cannot do," Blaine screamed in Kurt's face. Kurt felt some spit landing on his cheeks, but he didn't wipe it away, fearing it would anger Blaine even more.

"Blaine, please. This is not you," Kurt said, sliding down the wall onto the floor. The wall scratched his backside, but it was better than Blaine hitting him. He would take anything over Blaine hitting him. He had never seen Blaine as angry as he was now and knowing he was the cause of it broke his heart. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore, he burst out crying.

"You're so pathetic," Blaine said, turning around and slamming the bedroom door behind him. Kurt was safe again, but for how long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is pretty random after what I just left you with, but Kurt and Blaine do work. I'm not sure what exactly it is they do, but normally they do something. I guess Blaine has an office job or maybe he's a cook and I imagine Kurt to work in retail or as a hairdresser. It doesn't really matter for the story in my opinion as I'm giving you fleeting insights in their lives. But if you have any ideas about their occupation, let me know!


	5. Day Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this chapter might feel a little random, especially considering the last one. Just keep in mind that the main reason these two aren't working out is because of their inability to properly communicate.

"Kurt?" Blaine walked into the living room. Kurt was still half asleep, so he wasn't sure if Blaine was really talking to him as if nothing had happened before or if it was a fidget of his imagination. 

"Kurt?" It sounded again, so he must probably be awake. He blinked his eyes a couple of times, he could now make out Blaine against the pale grey wall. 

"Blaine?" Kurt asked he was surprised to see the other man. Blaine had been so adamant on dividing the space. He had been aggressive towards him and now he just wandered in? Kurt was very confused as to what was happening. 

"Kurt, finally! Been trying to get through to you for at least a couple of minutes," Blaine said, all traces of the anger he showed the day before vacant. Absolutely none whatsoever. He acted as if nothing had happened. This wasn't a rarity in their relationship. Honestly, most of their fights had been brushed over like that and neither had the heart to bring it up ever again. But the anger Blaine showed the day before had been something else. Kurt had never in his life ever seen Blaine that angry and he'd seen him angry a lot over the last months of them living together. 

"What's going on?" Kurt wasn't sure whether he was referring to Blaine being all happy and bubbly or what had brought him to Kurt. It was all questionable. He rubbed his eyes for good measure, making sure Blaine was really standing in front of him. 

"Look at this," Blaine shoved his phone in Kurt's hand. Kurt was confused and checked Blaine's face first to see if he should be alarmed. Blaine didn't really give him much to work with, he looked sheepishly at best. "Just look at the damn phone, Kurt."

The phone screen had darkened, he tapped on it, but nothing happened, so he handed it back to Blaine. "You know the password," Blaine sighed. 

"You put it in," Kurt said resolutely. If Blaine would be ignoring the boundaries he'd set before, then he'd have to make up for it. 

"Kurt, it's literally out anniversary, just put it in. I'm telling you to do it," Blaine said, sounding bit frustrated. 

"You know we don't have an anniversary anymore, right?" Kurt asked. It pained him to say it out loud, but he needed to check with Blaine. He needed to know if they were on the same page about this. His words had brought out a pained expression on Blaine's face as well. 

"Erm, yes, I know," Blaine took the phone from Kurt's hand. "I'll, uh, change it." Blaine took off to the bedroom again, leaving Kurt in the dark about what he should check out. It hadn't seemed that urgent, so it probably wasn't something bad. He decided to check the news to rule out that it had been something on there. 

Half an hour later Blaine reemerged from the bedroom, surprising Kurt. He had tear stains on his cheeks but seemed to have sufficiently cheered himself up to face Kurt again. "Here," Blaine extended his phone to Kurt again. 

"I already checked the news, so if this is about that, then I'm up to date," Kurt said, not taking the phone from Blaine. 

"Damnit, just take the phone and read it." Blaine shoved the phone in his hand. Kurt looked at it and saw a picture of himself on the screen. 

"What?" He said, not expecting to see himself staring back at him. "What's this?" 

"They've reported you as missing, Kurt," Blaine said. Kurt read what was written underneath the picture and found that Blaine was speaking the truth. He had been reported as missing and the tweet had been shared thousands of times already. 

"Shit, what? How?" Kurt simply didn't know what to do with that information. He was thoroughly confused. 

"Dunno, maybe you've forgotten to inform people about where you are?" Blaine opted sheepishly. He didn't seem as fazed by it as Kurt was. 

"Shit Blaine, what do I do now?" Kurt couldn't think straight anymore. First of all, he hadn't expected this to happen as he didn't know anyone who would care enough to do that, other than the people he'd been in contact with. Second of all, this had never happened to him or anyone he knew before, so he didn't know the protocol for dealing with it. 

"Well, maybe look at who posted it? Then reply to the tweet? Or send them a DM?" Kurt looked at the twitter profile, it had been set up fairly recently. It didn't have many tweets on it and the ones it had, were all connected to his disappearance. The owner of the account seemed to be the lovely lady in her 60s who lived in the apartment across from his. The tweets told him that they didn't have any contact information about him other than his name and address. He hadn't returned home and she was worried. She had asked all the neighbours about it and no one had seen him since the country went on lockdown. Kurt's heart ached for the lady. He hadn't expected her to care so much, but the account showed that in times like these everyone looked out for everyone. Humanity came together. 

"Blaine, you know I don't have a Twitter account anymore. Those things are only a way of distraction." 

"I know, I know. You've told me to delete mine more than once," Kurt chuckled when Blaine rolled his eyes at his comment. Blaine took the phone from Kurt. "Smile," he said as he captured a picture. 

"Blaine," Kurt hissed. He looked awful, his skin must be splotchy and he didn't even want to think about the mess his hair was. 

"What, that poor woman. We need to inform her as soon as possible," Blaine reasoned, a playful smile on his lips.

"Don't you dare, Blaine Anderson!" Blaine pouted at him and added, "Hummel." 

"Blaine," Kurt sighed, Blaine really wasn't taking signing the divorce papers seriously. "You signed the papers, there no longer is an us." 

Blaine dramatically placed his hand over his heart and acted as if he fell to the ground. "Just let me have it for the last couple of days," he pouted at Kurt from the floor. Kurt sighed again and didn't comment on it. As much as he'd liked to call Blaine Blaine Anderson-Hummel still, he wasn't anymore. If he kept thinking of him as such, the actual separation would only be harder. They hadn't had much bodily contact, except for that one eventful morning. But the emotional separation was hard when you still saw each other every day. 

Kurt wrestled Blaine's phone out of his hand and deleted the photo before Blaine could post it. "It needs to look natural though, we don't want your neighbour to think I'm holding you capture against your will." Kurt snorted at that, it wasn't Blaine who was keeping him there. But he was still held against his will. 

"Fine, but please let me get dressed before taking a picture of me and posting it for the world to see. The internet never forgets, Blaine." Blaine nodded and allowed Kurt to go freshen up in the bathroom. Once he returned, they snapped a picture and posted it. Blaine had wanted to take a selfie of the both of them, but Kurt had argued against it. 

"Can I have your phone?" Kurt asked, holding his hand up. Blaine cocked his eyebrow at that. 

"First you tell me to change my password and now you want my phone? You are a mystery mister Hummel." 

"I might be, but can I have your phone please, I want to message Mrs Smith to give her my number to clarify that I'm actually alright. It's in your best interest to hand over the phone I would say. Maybe they'll still call the cops on you for keeping me against my will," Kurt said, smirking at Blaine. He knew Blaine would give in just by the look on his face. 

"Fine," Blaine said, handing the phone over. Kurt sent a message to his neighbour, telling her that he was okay and that she could reach him on his cell. He sent her his number as well, remembering to actually provide more neighbours with it in case of emergency. 

After that, he also called the police to check if an actual missing report had been sent out. He was glad to find that it hadn't come that far yet. Soon after, Mrs Smith called. Kurt explained the situation to her and she told him that she would've contacted the cops if he hadn't returned home by tomorrow. They were both glad that the air was cleared and Kurt promised to come over for tea the moment the lockdown was over. 

"Did you really have to tell her you're stuck with your ex-husband?" Blaine questioned after he hung up. Kurt was getting annoyed with Blaine constantly bringing it up. 

"Yes, Blaine. I had to reassure her. Did I say anything unpleasant about you? No, I don't think so. So I don't understand why you have to keep bringing it up. Fact is, we both signed those papers, so we're ex-husbands whether you like it or not." 

"I don't," Blaine said softly, he didn't look at Kurt anymore. He looked anywhere but in Kurt's direction. 

"Well, then you shouldn't have signed them," Kurt shrugged. 

"How can you act so indifferent about this?" Blaine asked, pulling on the hangnail on his thumb. 

"I'm not, but as I said, we're in fact no longer husbands. If we still wanted to be, we would've done something about it."

"But maybe we can still fix this," Blaine looked hopeful as he said it. 

"I think it's too late for that." 

"Please?" Blaine pouted and looked at Kurt with those ridiculous puppy eyes that would make Kurt give in most times, but not today. He had to be strong. Blaine's mood was all over the place lately, he couldn't possibly mean it. 

"Can you just let it go, please?" Kurt asked, adding "let's get us out of this situation and then we'll see what happens alright. The papers are still signed though." 

Blaine's eyes lit up. "Oh, and I'm hiding them. I'm not going to let you do anything to those papers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit shorter than the previous few. I have an exam on Thursday, so I need my time to revise. I still wanted to update though and hopefully I'll get something up tomorrow as well. Hope you're all having a nice day!


	6. Day Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some domestic!Klaine for you today :) Didn't plan on this length for the chapter, but it happened anyway. Due to the length it is unedited. Sorry for any mistakes!

Kurt was still wary as to Blaine's mood swings, the previous day he'd been nice all day long. The moment he popped out of the bedroom that morning, he still seemed to be in a good mood. The good mood also frightened Kurt as Blaine had made it known that he wanted to try again with Kurt. Kurt had been trying to distance himself from himandblaine but now Blaine was trying to get back together again, or so it seemed. Kurt just didn't want to reopen wounds. He just hoped Blaine wouldn't get to physical. He knew it would be over if he did. He wouldn't be able to resist Blaine.

"Think we should head to the shops today," Blaine said. He'd been examining the fridge and kitchen cabinets. 

"Oh you really think so?" Kurt commented sarcastically. Kurt had bashed Blaine's stocking on their second day stuck together, but it actually hadn't been as bad as he thought. The things Blaine had, had lasted them another four days. They were in desperate need of some shopping now though. They didn't have enough food to last them another day.

Blaine sighed, "Are we going there again?" 

"You've just prepared terribly and now you have literally nothing stocked anymore." 

"Yes, I know. I'm terrible. I don't live up to your expectations, copy that," Blaine said, he looked annoyed. 

"It's just that if you would've gotten sick, you wouldn't have enough to even survive a quarantine," Kurt said, looking very sincere. 

"Aw, you care, how sweet," Blaine sounded sarcastic.

"Oh, so now I'm not allowed to care about you? You really don't know what you want, do you?" 

"As if you do," Blaine bit back. He was rummaging in the kitchen with a notepad in his hand. 

"Do you need a pen?" Kurt asked, eyeing the one lying on the kitchen table. "Hm?" 

"Pen?" Blaine looked at Kurt, who was holding up the pen. "Yes, thanks," he took the pen from Kurt's hand.

"Need any help with making that list?" Kurt asked, he felt pretty useless just sitting at the kitchen table.

"No, I'll just make the list and write down what I think we need. You can go out to shop and get us whatever else you think we need," Blaine looked at Kurt to see if he agreed with the plan. 

Kurt sighed, "okay, but only if you clean in here."

"Knew you would trade off doing chores," Blaine chuckled, but he didn't decline. "I'll vacuum, is that good enough for you sir?" 

"If you vacuum and scrub the bathroom, then we have a deal," Kurt said, knowing that Blaine would take it. Just to look on his face told him that much. 

"Fine, but you owe me. I'm doing two things and you're doing only one." 

"Thought we were adults, but this seems awfully teenlike behaviour Mr Anderson," Kurt laughed, just teasing Blaine a little. 

"Well, I didn't lie," Blaine teased back. 

"I will be defying a deadly virus though," Kurt threw in.

"Bring a sword, maybe that'll help you in the fight," Blaine said jokingly. 

"Only if you polish it for me," Kurt joked back. This was the most civil conversation they'd had in a while. There still was an underlying tension, but it was probably as 'normal' as it would get.

"Okay, you almost done with that list?" Kurt asked, interrupting the almost magical moment they just shared.

"Oh, yea, right," Blaine said, looking around him a bit frantically. "I'll uhm, I'll get on it. Why don't you shower and get dressed and all that?" 

"I will," Kurt pushed himself back from the table. The table gave in and moved a bit as well. Kurt cursed himself for damaging the flooring.

"It's fine, Kurt. It's not the first blemish on the floor," Blaine didn't even look at Kurt, but he knew exactly what was going on. Kurt felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. Blaine had caught him, something he didn't think he would.

Kurt rushed himself through his morning routine, he was actually looking forward to spending some time outside. He'd always quite liked going grocery shopping as well, although he feared today's experience wouldn't be as pleasant as normally. 

"Blaine? Do you have any reusable bags I could bring? Don't think they'll be bagging up our groceries as usual," Kurt explained, he was rummaging the basket underneath the little table next to the door. That's where Kurt had always kept the reusable bags, but he couldn't really find them now. 

"Oh, yes, wait a sec," Blaine said, disappearing into the bedroom. Kurt followed him hot on his heels, wanting to know where Blaine had put them. He told himself it'd just be for the sake of him putting them back there once he was back home again. 

Blaine had put a container on top of the dresser and tried to get it off. "Wait, let me," Kurt said, placing his on Blaine's back shortly. He softly pushed him aside and Blaine let him. Kurt easily took the plastic box off the dresser and immediately saw the reusable bags he was looking for. He took two canvas bags and two larger shoppers. 

"Why are you taking so many bags?" Blaine sighed. 

"We need to stock up, Blaine," Kurt retorted. He acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

"Kurt, we cannot hoard everything. First of all, I'm not sure whether I can afford to fill up all the pantries and second of all, there are other people as well. Like the nurses for example, do you want them to come in after a shift and find nothing in the supermarket?" Blaine gave Kurt a penetrating look. 

"But Blaine, we need food for at least a week, preferably two. What if one of us gets ill?" Two could play this game. 

"Are you feeling unwell right now?"

"No, but that could change?" 

"You're not unwell right now, neither am I, so we need to think about others Kurt!" Kurt considered it, maybe he could tone it down a little. 

"I'll try," he was willing to try to meet Blaine in the middle. 

"Just try to buy what's on the list alright? It's pretty excessive," Blaine said, it was as if he knew he'd have to rein in Kurt. 

"Okay, okay, I'll try. I promise," Kurt held his pinky in the air. Blaine snorted, "what are we? Five?" 

"I'll just get going then," Kurt said, putting his hand in his pocket. 

"Oh and take your key please! Don't wanna be opening the door in my cleaning-the-bathroom-outfit!"

"Okay, fine," Kurt didn't like the notion of his key. He'd returned it to Blaine, well not in so many words, but still. 

"I'll go now, bye," Kurt felt himself lean towards Blaine a little, but leaned away just in time. It had been so natural to kiss Blaine goodbye that he'd almost done it again. 

Kurt left the property for what felt like the umpteenth time that week. This time a clear mission in mind. He would be getting him and Blaine some good food. Once he arrived at the closest slightly bigger supermarket, he was surprised to find that he had to wait outside. There were markings on the floor to show him where he was allowed to wait and how much distance he had to keep between him and the person in front of him. This experience would not be as lovely as grocery shopping normally was indeed. 

Kurt waited outside for 15 minutes until he was allowed to enter the shop. Once he entered, he was surprised by what he saw. Shelves were half empty, all the pictures they'd shown on the news were real. He looked at the list Blaine had made for him. The first item on it was milk, so he walked to the big fridge area to only find two packages of milk. He took both out, making sure that he'd at least have something. 

Eggs, that was next on Blaine's list, but Kurt couldn't find any. They were all out of eggs. Next, Blaine had asked for an array of fresh vegetables and fruits. Kurt could only find half of them. In the freezer area, there were even fewer products. Kurt still took half of what he did find though. He knew Blaine didn't really like peas but still took two boxes. He needed to assure them at least something to eat. 

Kurt continued on like that, filling up the trolley. He knew he couldn't take everything with him as he still needed to carry the bags home as well. Normally he'd take a cab if he had a lot of groceries with him, but he simply wouldn't be able to do that now. Once he got to the till he made sure to be extra nice and helpful to the cashier. He felt sorry for the young boy working the till he looked exhausted and the little sparkle in his eye when it turned out that Kurt was nice to him showed how badly he'd suffered that day. Kurt bagged his groceries and tried to take them with him. It was hard. He may have gone overboard a little. 

He had to walk 3 blocks and every block he had to stop to gain some strength again. He repositioned the bags each time as well. He found out it was best to carry one canvas bag on his stomach, one on his back and the two bigger shoppers in his hands. He cursed himself for not balancing the bags out that well, but in the end, he made it. 

"Looks like you've got enough to get you through this lockdown," the friendly doorman commented once he saw Kurt coming in. Kurt smiled at him, slightly embarrassed. He took the lift up. The lift stopped on the fourth floor, letting in a slightly older man. He nodded to Kurt but didn't pay him any more attention. Kurt struggled to leave the lift with all his groceries. In front of Blaine's door he quickly, but carefully, dumbed it all on the floor. He got the key out of his pocket and opened the door. He shoved the bags inside. 

"I'm back," Kurt yelled. He wanted to leave the bags and go to the little supermarket around the corner to see if they had eggs, but then realised he was blocking the bedroom door with the bags. 

"Did you manage to get everything?" Blaine asked, pushing the bedroom door open. He had a bit of trouble with the bags in front of them, but with an extra push, he fixed that. 

"I couldn't find any eggs and I had to swap out some items. I had to get us those awful hamburgers you use on the BBQ, they were out of fresh ones. Oh and many of the fresh products were gone too, so I bought peas," Kurt kept on rambling. He hadn't noticed Blaine staring at the bags. 

"Kurt, did you just buy all of that?" 

"Yes? And I'm going out to get us eggs," he said. He carried the canvas bags to the kitchen and put them on the kitchen table. Blaine followed him with the other two bags. 

"I don't think we need eggs," Blaine stated. 

"But they're on your list," Kurt said, he didn't think he'd done anything wrong. 

"Kurt, if you'd bought strictly what was on my list, you would've filled up a big shopper and maybe a canvas bag. You filled up 2 canvas bags and 2 shoppers, we have more than enough food. Hell, you even bought peas. I don't even like peas." 

"Don't be like that Blaine," Kurt said. It was clear Blaine wouldn't let him go to the shops, so Kurt started to file away the groceries he'd bought. Soon he found out that they didn't have enough space in the freezer to keep everything he'd bought. 

Blaine was just watching Kurt put everything away. Kurt felt the eyes burning on his back. Blaine was right, he'd bought too much. He felt embarrassed now. Truly embarrassed, what he'd felt when he entered the building didn't even come close to this. 

"You were right, I bought too much," Kurt said after trying to fit everything in the freezer a couple of times. His hands had gotten so cold that he could barely move them. 

"Thank you," Blaine said smugly. "Now, what can we do with everything that doesn't fit?" Blaine sounded almost as if he was schooling Kurt. Kurt shrugged, but then had an idea. 

"Maybe we can give it to the doorman?" 

"The doorman?" Blaine frowned, "fine, the doorman. You're bringing it though." 

Kurt cheeks still sported that red tinge, "I'll take the peas to him since you don't like them." 

"Good boy," Blaine laughed.


	7. Day Seven

Kurt was aimlessly flipping through the channels on the television. Boredom had really gotten to him. He had no plan for today. He and Blaine had been on good terms since Blaine's outburst a few days prior. They hadn't really fought, bickered at best. They had taken turns sleeping on the bed and the couch, Blaine's claim to the bedroom seemingly forgotten. 

"Blaine, Blaine!" Kurt yelled at Blaine who was sitting at the kitchen table doing God knows what for work. Blaine looked up at Kurt questioningly if a little annoyed. "I'm bored," Kurt stated. 

"That's not really my problem now, is it?" Kurt sighed, Blaine was not helping. He'd hoped Blaine would suggest something to do, but he was engrossed in his work. 

Kurt turned off the TV, he hadn't found anything interesting enough to keep watching. Staying in someone else's house made this all the more difficult. At his own place, he'd have redone the place, cleared out all the cabinets and made a ton of new outfits already. He also had some clothes that needed alterations, so it felt entirely unproductive to be stuck here. He didn't have his laptop with him, so Blaine and he had to alternative using Blaine's to catch up with some emails from work and other things that needed to be handled. He had his phone, but that just didn't work as well. 

Since Blaine didn't come to his rescue, Kurt decided to aimlessly scroll through his phone. He was almost tempted to download twitter again and make an account on the app, but he couldn't let himself. Ever since he had deleted the app, he'd been way more productive. On Instagram, he was done pretty quickly as well, but he allowed himself to look at the explore page, so he spent about an hour scrolling through that bit. It only made him long to be productive even more. There were countless videos of people DYI-ing or redecorating their house. He'd also found the cat videos, which were adorable but got annoying after a while. 

He'd plundered the app store as well, trying to find games that could occupy his mind, but nothing seemed to catch his attention for more than a couple of hours. He either got bored by it or he needed to wait for new lives, so he'd just give up. It didn't do very well for his mood either. He'd interrupted Blaine's work more than once with the groans about having to wait for lives again. Kurt had quickly found out that he was not one to sit and wait. He needed to do something. 

"Blaine, do you at least have paper?" He asked the man, once again interrupting his work. "What now Kurt, I need to work and you're not helping."

"I asked if you have paper," Kurt repeated himself. Blaine shrugged. 

"As much as I'd like to, I'm not gonna pull open all of the cabinets, so please work with me," Kurt said, trying to get Blaine's attention on him again. 

"Just go ahead, I don't mind. Got no secrets for you," Blaine said, waving his hand as a go-ahead. He didn't even care enough to look at Kurt when he answered him, something that infuriated Kurt. Kurt could act like a spoiled brat sometimes, which was exactly how he was going to proceed. He stomped around the living room pulling open all cabinets, throwing stuff on the floor if he didn't need it. 

"Kurt, please," Blaine said angrily. "Can you please stop acting like a child. Didn't think I ordered one." 

"Oh, but you did order an ex-husband?" Blaine ignored Kurt. Kurt was kind of annoyed with himself as well. It was just that he was getting restless. He had nothing to keep his mind occupied. Well, he could think about him and Blaine separating, but that wouldn't help his case. He was actually glad he seemed to have moved past it. Being civil with Blaine had also helped in that.

Instead if opening more doors, he started to clean up the trail of destruction he'd left behind. The cleaning helped, he felt slightly productive and that lifted his spirits as well. He still wanted to find paper somewhere, but he could look for it without making a mess as well. The places he'd kept the paper before he moved out, he'd all checked out. So he ventured out to other places. 

Kurt ended up with a single sheet of paper, that wasn't nearly enough for what he was planning.

"I'll be back in a bit," Kurt told Blaine, he'd taken a pen from the kitchen table where Blaine had a few lingering around. Blaine raised his eyebrows in question, then shook his head and focused on his work again. 

Kurt put on Blaine's slides and put his own shoe between the front door to keep it from falling shut. He walked to their next door neighbour and knocked on the window. The man who lived next to them waved, Kurt waved back and held his paper up.

DO YOU HAVE PAPER? it said. The neighbour nodded and took a stack out of his printer. Kurt followed the process with his eyes, he'd never really seen the inside of the flat and it was quite interesting in fact. Kurt stayed in the place he'd been in the entire time and watched the neighbour place the stack of paper on the doormat. Kurt nodded a thanks to him, waited for him to close the door and took the stack.

With paper under his arm, he walked back inside. He felt Blaine's eyes on him when he walked into the living room again. "What did you do?" 

"Just asked our neighbour if he had any paper for me, which he did," Kurt said triumphantly, proud of his resourcefulness.

"And what would you need that paper for?" Kurt was glad to finally have Blaine's attention on him. It meant that he had someone to talk to. 

"I'm making cards for our neighbours," Kurt had to refrain himself from excitedly clapping his hands. Blaine chuckled at his excitement and lightly shook his head.

"Hmm, well if that keeps you from bothering me, gladly," he said, fixing his eyes on his laptop again.

During his browsing, Kurt had found some of his art supplies Blaine apparently hadn't gotten rid of. Or maybe he just hadn't opened that particular cupboard after Kurt left, something Kurt thought of as highly likely. Especially since that cupboard had held all of Kurt's supplies. 

"Oh no, not the glitter, Kurt," Blaine said, looking warily at the tubes filled with glitter. 

"I'll clean!" Kurt told him, "I promise!" 

"You've promised me that before and I still find glitter to this day. I'm sure our neighbours will appreciate you not putting glitter on the cards as well. So for the love of God, do not put any glitter on," he had Blaine's full attention now, something he'd been hoping for since he started getting bored. He'd hoped this would've gone unnoticed though, or maybe only get noticed once he'd started already. 

"But otherwise I'd have to throw it out," Kurt pouted. "Plus, we could all use some sparkle in dark times like these." 

"You're really something else, Kurt Hummel," Blaine smiled at him.

"So does that mean I get to use glitter?" Kurt asked innocently. If the situation had been any different, he would've leaned in to kiss Blaine. 

Blaine sighed, "Fine, but only because you're so cute." 

"Oh, so you still think I'm cute?" Kurt wanted to keep his distance, but couldn't help but flirt. He'd flirted with this man for years, so it felt only natural to do so. It brought him back to their first year of marriage. They had been so happy back then. They hadn't been together that long once Blaine got down on his knee and asked Kurt to marry him. Everyone had told them that they were crazy for getting engaged after only dating for a couple of months, but nothing had ever felt more right to them. They had both been part of the same theatre club since freshman year and were kind of friendly before a mutual friend set them up for a date. The date was a roaring success and soon they were inseparable. They were graduating college and their lives were very unstable, yet the part that wasn't, was their relationship. 

Blaine was blushing slightly and averted his eyes, "yes? I don't think I'll even find you not cute."

Blaine's honest reply made Kurt's stomach flutter. He carried a soft smile on his face. It felt good to know that his ex-husband still appreciated him. It also made him wonder where they went wrong as he was still attracted to Blaine as well. He knew marriage wasn't only about being attracted to someone, but he had learnt that once he stopped seeing someone, they often weren't as attractive to him anymore either. Once he stopped being in love, he could see their flaws better. That was not to say that Blaine wasn't flawed, Kurt certainly knew that he was. They had fought for a reason, although it often seemed silly afterwards. 

"You gonna use that glitter or what?" Blaine said daringly now. 

"Oh, I will Anderson!" Kurt uncapped the first tube, purposefully spilling some glitter onto the kitchen table. Blaine dipped his finger into the pile of glitter and blew it into Kurt's face. Kurt took a pinch of glitter and threw it at him. 

"Stop it! I don't wanna find glitter in my laptop three years from now!" Blaine giggled. The sound was music to Kurt's ears, it had been ages since he'd heard that. 

"But isn't it a nice reminder of our time spent cooped up in this apartment?" Kurt asked innocently, throwing some more glitter in Blaine's direction. 

"I mean, you wanted to provide our neighbours with some sparkle in dark times. I get enough of just having you here," Blaine said, looking away from Kurt when he said the last part. That all too known flutter was right back again. Kurt just stared at Blaine for a couple of seconds. 

"Uhm, yes, I'll get on making those cards now. Do you want me to put your name on them as well?" Kurt knew it was a bad idea. They would be giving off the wrong signal. It being signed by two guys instantly implied that they were at least dating. He couldn't help himself though. He felt happy when he saw Blaine nod. 

Kurt folded all the papers in half and glued them down with glue stick. Then he took his thick black marker and blackened part of the card. He then glued some glitter on top of the darkness and wrote, 'we wish to bring you some sparkle in this darkness' in a neath cursive underneath it. Inside the little card he'd made, he wrote that he and Blaine were willing to help anyone in need. He added his phone number, as well as the apartment number and their names onto the card and happily put it aside. He busied himself with it the entire morning and after a late lunch, he even got Blaine to help him. Once they'd run out of paper, Kurt decided that it was enough. 

"Let's bring them to all the people until we run out!" Kurt said, Blaine chuckled. Kurt was really behaving like an overgrown child, but it seemed to bring the best out in Blaine as well. 

They shrugged on their coats and separated the stack of cards. They decided to first bring the card to everyone on the third floor and to make their way up after that. Kurt had insisted on dropping a card at the doorman's as well. He had happily provided them with his number as well, telling them to call if they would need anything. 

Back in the apartment again, Kurt felt miles better. He'd been productive, he'd done something good with his day. He hoped people had liked their cards. He wished he could've seen the reactions of people, yet he was also glad he hadn't. Probably not everyone would've been as pleasantly surprised with the card. 

Now that the restlessness was gone, Kurt could finally sit on the sofa and relax. He stifled a yawn, which made Blaine pester him for a bit as he had had the bed for the night. 

Blaine had dug up a couple of books somewhere and handed one to Kurt. They were both on the couch, engrossed in their own books. 

"Kurt?" Blaine asked, but Kurt didn't react too entranced by the story world he'd emerged himself in. Kurt sneezed, something he'd done a couple of times during the day, but which seemed to be getting worse by the hour. 

"Kurt!" Blaine shook Kurt's shoulder now. "Hm, what?"

"You've been sneezing, are you feeling alright?" Blaine questioned, he had a concerned look on his face. 

"Yes, I feel fine. Don't worry. I've been washing my hands every three hours and I've kept my distance. I'm not infected, I swear," Kurt immediately defended himself. 

"I'm not accusing you of everything, I just wanted to check up on you. The coughing and sneezing seems to be getting worse," Blaine explained. 

"I'm fine, it's nothing more than my seasonal cold. Don't worry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been missing soft!klaine lately, hence me going soft on them. Don't think any of you particularly mind that tho aha


	8. Day Eight

Kurt awoke in the middle of the night in a pool of his own sweat. It was his turn on the couch, Blaine had tried to talk him into sleeping in the bed since he seemed poorly, but Kurt declined. He was adamant about this taking turns thing, Blaine had given in way too many times already. Kurt felt spoiled, so he just wanted to do right this time. 

When Kurt sat up, he found Blaine leaning against the door frame. The pair stared at each other for a while, the moment broken when Kurt's teeth chattered. Suddenly he was ice cold, the sweat on his back not helping the situation. Blaine rushed forward to get to him. 

"No," Kurt said resolutely, despite the chattering teeth. Blaine frowned but stopped in motion. 

"You're not going to push me away again. This has happened before, but you know that just letting me dote you makes it all slightly better," Blaine argued. Kurt wanted to let Blaine take care of him, but he couldn't let him. What if he had caught the virus after all, he didn't want to put Blaine in danger as well. 

"B-blaine," Kurt tried to talk, but he couldn't do so properly. He'd wrapped himself up in the blanket on the couch, but it didn't seem to help. 

Blaine moved to the kitchen, "tea or warm milk?" He had opened the fridge already to find the package of milk. Kurt just nodded, letting Blaine decide. 

Kurt was lost in a coughing fit when he suddenly felt a hand press against his forehead. "B-blaine don't-t," he said in between coughs, still shivering. 

"You've got a fever Kurt, please let me take care of you," Blaine begged, giving Kurt those damned puppy eyes. 

"I don't want to get you sick as well," it took everything in Kurt to get the sentence out, but he managed. 

"I won't, you've never gotten me sick. Just like I've never gotten you sick. Apart from that one time I cooked us salmon, remember that?" Blaine chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. Kurt wanted to laugh but felt so utterly exhausted that he couldn't manage to do so. 

"It's not fair," Kurt muttered, barely audible. 

"What's not, love?" Blaine asked. 

"I washed my hands, I kept my distance and I'm still sick," Kurt told Blaine. He wanted to push him away and scream that Blaine needed to keep his distance. He didn't want Blaine to catch the virus as well. 

"Aw, I'm sorry you're sick too, but we don't know if it's the virus," Blaine said, defending being so close to Kurt. He'd sat down next to him and glued his side to Kurt to give him some warmth. 

"I don't want to get tested," Kurt said, fear in his eyes. Blaine pulled him even closer and pressed a kiss to Kurt's sweaty forehead. 

"We'll think about that tomorrow, alright?" Blaine didn't even wait for an answer. He stood up and looked at Kurt, seemingly doubting something. He took Kurt's arm and pulled him up from the couch. He looked at Kurt as he tested his legs, which were very weak. Within seconds Kurt was in Blaine's arms as he carried him bridal style. Kurt didn't want to, but he felt the safest he had in a long time. Blaine's strong arms around him had always done that to him. Blaine's arms had always been his home. Kurt nuzzled his face into Blaine's warm chest. 

Blaine softly placed Kurt on the bed. He pulled back the sheets and wrapped them around Kurt. "I hope this makes you feel a little better," Blaine said pressing a kiss on Kurt's hair. Kurt could barely make out what was happening around him, but he did register the warm lips on his scalp. 

-

Kurt woke up with the sun on his face and Blaine's chuckle in his ears. "Mmpf, what?" He said, turning around to face Blaine, only to find out that he wasn't in the bed with him. 

"Never knew you babbled in your sleep," Blaine said, he was sitting on a chair that belonged to their kitchen table set. 

"I don't," Kurt said, although he was not sure. His mind was fizzy and he couldn't really make out everything. It was hard to sort out his thoughts and he didn't understand why Blaine wasn't in bed with him like usual. 

"Oh, but you totally did," Blaine chuckled again. Kurt hummed non-committally. 

"Why're you not in the bed?" Kurt pouted. Blaine looked at him with sadness in his eyes. 

"You begged me to stay away during the night. I actually slept on the couch," Blaine explained, keeping his distance from Kurt. Kurt made grabby hands at his husband. 

"Did we fight?" Blaine looked at Kurt in question, "why are you asking me that?"

"You slept on the couch and I begged you to? We only do that when we fight," Kurt said, not understanding why Blaine was so confused. 

"Oh, you really don't remember?" Blaine said, he seemed very sad, something Kurt didn't like to see. "Kurt, we're in the middle of a pandemic. You probably caught the virus, that's why I'm keeping my distance. If you weren't high on the fever, you'd be telling me to stay away as well, so I'm listening to you. I'm not screwing this up." 

"Oh, oh, yes, okay," Kurt said, he tried to understand, but the fuzziness in his brain wasn't helping. "I just want to cuddle with you."

"Just go back to sleep, love," Blaine said softly. Kurt blinked a couple of times, rolled over and closed his eyes again. He didn't know if Blaine stayed at his bedside, but he hoped he did. It was bad enough that he couldn't be wrapped up in his arms. Kurt longed for them, although it would probably be way too warm. 

-

The next time Kurt woke up, the chair on his bedside was empty. He didn't understand why the chair was there at all. He silently cursed Blaine for putting it there, if he had any more energy, he would've jumped out of the bed to school Blaine about it. 

"Oh, hi, Kurt," Blaine smiled when he saw Kurt, "you're awake!"

"Yes? Why're you so happy about that? And why is that chair here?" Kurt snapped at Blaine. 

"I think I preferred the Kurt I got this morning," Blaine muttered, just loudly enough for Kurt to catch it. Kurt was confused, what had happened that morning?

"Care to elaborate?" 

"How're you feeling?" Blaine brushed off the question Kurt asked. 

"Tired, hot and sticky," Kurt contemplated if there was anything else to add to the list. He coughed a few times and then shrugged. "Don't think there's much else."

"Let me feel your forehead," Blaine leaned in to touch Kurt's head, but he pulled back. 

"Don't touch me, I don't want to infect you as well," Kurt said, panic laced through his voice. "Oh no, who else have I infected? Is the poor doorman alright? I talked to him a couple of times. And everyone at the shop yesterday. Oh God Blaine, what have I done? Why didn't I just stay inside as they told us to? Why did this have to happen to me? I hate this, I don't want to be sick. I don't want to be just another statistic on the news," Kurt vented. 

"Calm down, Kurt," Blaine said calmly, providing a voice of reason for Kurt. "We're not sure if you have the virus, we're just taking precautions here." 

"Blaine, you shouldn't even be in this room. How can you be so stupid?" 

"Hey, don't say that. I choose to be here," Blaine tried to appease him, but Kurt wasn't having it. 

"I refuse to risk your health as well as mine," Kurt said. "I don't want to see you anymore unless I really have to." 

"Kurt, please," Blaine once again resorted to the puppy eyes. "Just let me take care of you."

"We don't know whether I have COVID or not, so I need you to stay away," Kurt said and he made sure to use such a tone that it was clear to Blaine that he meant it. Blaine looked at him with pleading eyes once again. Kurt averted his gaze, he couldn't look at Blaine any longer. He felt miserable and he could really use the comfort of Blaine's arms, but he couldn't get Blaine infected as well. Moreover, it would be wrong to cuddle up with your ex-husband. 

"I really did prefer the Kurt I got in the morning, at least he was begging me to stay with him," Blaine said, getting up out of the chair. He lifted the chair into the air and took it outside the room again, listening to Kurt's pleas. Kurt was glad that Blaine couldn't see his flaming red cheeks, although he could just say that it was because of the fever. 

A few minutes later Blaine walked into the bedroom again, this time with a plate of food and a cup of herbal tea with him. "Try to eat this and the tea should soothe your stomach," he said, placing the platter on the nightstand. He walked away again but halted in the doorway. 

"Kurt," he tried to catch Kurt's attention, which he did so successfully. "I really think we should get you tested."

"Blaine, I don't feel well and I know I have some of the symptoms, but let's safe the tests for those who really need it," Kurt argued. He was scared he had the virus, but he knew that there were people out there to whom it'd mean life or death to get tested. He didn't want to take that away from them. 

"I just want to be sure, Kurt," Blaine whispered. "I know how much this stresses you out and if knowing would reduce that stress, then I think we should do it."

"But what if I have it? I'll have to go down to the doctor's office, do you know how many people we could run into? Do you know how many more people I could infect? I don't want anyone to die from this, Blaine. If I stay inside at least I have that certainty. We can control how far away from me you are. We can take all the precautions needed inside of this apartment," Kurt let out a yawn after saying all that. He was short of breath, which he didn't like, but so be it. 

"But this isn't normal, Kurt," Blaine took a step in Kurt's direction, unable to stay away, "you don't get breathless after ranting to me. You never have."

"Stay away, Blaine," Kurt warned him. 

"We swapped spit a couple of days ago, I would already have it if you have it as well," Blaine argued, taking another step in Kurt's direction. 

"Please, Blaine. Don't make this any harder than it has to be," he pouted but was cut off by a cough. Kurt's hand moved to his sore abs. He had been coughing so much that it hurt, sneezing even worse. 

Blaine held up his hands, "Okay, okay, I'll go. Please call for me if you need anything." Kurt nodded. 

Blaine almost left the bedroom, but Kurt stopped him, "Oh, can you please bring me my phone?" Blaine nodded. 

In Blaine's absence, Kurt started on the crackers he'd brought in. He took a couple of bites, but Kurt could immediately tell that it had been a bad idea to eat something. His stomach had been alright-ish but wasn't anymore. He laid on his side and curled up in the fetal position to try to relieve the pain. The nauseousness being the main problem though. 

Kurt knew Blaine would be all over him the moment he walked in. "Kurt? Kurt! Are you alright?" Blaine kept his distance, or well, he didn't touch Kurt. Kurt was surprised and slightly disappointed although he knew it was for the best. Part of him was also glad that Blaine finally listened to him. 

"I'll put your phone on the nightstand and please try to eat a bit more. I'll bring you some water as well, you need to stay hydrated," Blaine went into full mother hen mode. Kurt appreciated the concern of his ex-husband. He was glad they were on good enough terms to do this for one another. 

Kurt longed to fall asleep, knowing he wouldn't feel the pain once he was under. Sleep didn't get to him though. With nothing better to do, he took his phone checking it for messages. He had a couple. One from his dad asking how he was doing. He hadn't told his father that he was staying with Blaine, he'd told him he was staying with a friend. He wouldn't be telling him that he'd fallen ill either. His dad didn't need that kind of stress, especially since there was nothing he could do for Kurt. 

He also had three messages from unknown numbers, one was from a lady on the first floor. She was in the risk group and would like help walking her dog. Kurt felt bad when he had to tell her that he'd fallen ill and that he wouldn't be able to help her. He'd also received a message from the neighbour they'd gotten the paper from, he thanked them for the card and said he'd be happy to help as well. Kurt forwarded the number of the lady from to the first floor to him and told him he could possibly help her, after explaining his own situation. The last message was from Mrs Smith, also asking him how he was. He typed out a lengthy reply to the lady, honestly telling her he'd fallen ill. He also told her about Blaine's helpfulness and how their relationship had proceeded so far. He just needed someone to talk to about the situation and for whatever reason, he had picked the neighbour who cared enough about him to almost report him missing. 

Sending the messages had worn him out enough to fall into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we have it. Kurt's possibly infected with COVID. I'm no doctor and I hope this seems a bit


	9. Day Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our poor Kurt is ill, but I hope none of you are. Take care of yourselves please!

Kurt felt an arm tightly wrapped around him, fingers dancing over his belly. Inside his belly he felt some fluttering, it was as if he was being tickled from the inside. And maybe he was, judging by the side of his belly. Kurt opened his eyes and happily pushed back into his husband's warm chest. 

"I'm so happy right now," Blaine muttered into his ear. Kurt wanted to say he was too, but he felt a sharp pain in his rib. The baby had just kicked him there. So instead of reaffirming Blaine's sentiments, he hissed. 

"You alright, love?" Blaine asked, pushing away from Kurt so that he could look at his face. Kurt's face was painted in discomfort, "yes, yes, I am. It's just the baby." 

"I'm sorry," Blaine started rubbing the place he could see the baby kicking Kurt. "Don't be, it's the way nature wants this to be."

"It can still suck tough, you're bruised everywhere. You don't have to pretend it's okay, Kurt," Blaine's voice was laced with sincerity. 

Kurt turned onto his back, which was a bit harder now that he was about 30 weeks pregnant. The belly had made his entire life infinitely harder, but the gift that would come afterwards was definitely worth it. Kurt took Blaine's hand, the one that had been rubbing his belly, and laced it together with his own. He pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's knuckles. "But it really is okay. It's wonderful to know that you're producing life," Kurt told Blaine once again. Kurt knew Blaine was slightly jealous of him, especially since it was the second time that Kurt was with child. 

"Daddy!" Their daughter screamed. Blaine sighed but got up to get their kid. A minute later he walked into the room again with a toddler on his hip. "Hey, sweetheart," Kurt said as his daughter crawled on the bed. The little girl rushed to her papa and threw herself at him. 

"Gracie, you can't do that," Blaine scolded, he looked at Kurt trying to notice if their eldest had hurt him. Grace looked at her papa, producing big crocodile tears. 

"It's alright, sweetie," Kurt said as he took her into his arms, "just remember what daddy told you."

"You have the baby, I's need to be careful," Grace told her father. "Exactly," Blaine said proudly as he slid into bed again. 

Moments like this were Kurt's favourite. He had all his favourite people together and he could show them his appreciation of them all as well. Kurt let out a happy sigh and let his lips curl up into a smile. 

"I love you," Blaine breathed, his hand was back on Kurt's stomach again. Little Gracie was sandwiched between her dads, but this was a weekly happening, so she wasn't fazed by it. 

"Papa," Grace sat up and looked at Kurt. "Yes, my love," Kurt answered, looking at the reluctant little girl. "Can I feel the baby?" Kurt took his daughter's hand in his own and placed her little hand on top of his belly where the baby had just been kicking him. 

"I felt it!" Grace squealed, she giggled with joy. It always made Kurt very happy when she did, because it was one of the things she'd gotten from Blaine. He'd always thought it was very cute when Blaine did so, but nothing had prepared him for the cuteness of his husband and their daughter giggling at the same time. The two were two peas in a pod, so this occurred quite often. 

Blaine sat up and pulled his daughter into his lap, placing his own hand over her little one. Kurt took his phone off the nightstand, then joined his hand with those of his family and captured the sweet moment to last forever. 

The happy moment was soon interrupted by an excruciating pain. Kurt didn't know what was happening, but his stomach hurt so badly, he knew something was definitely very wrong. He screamed so loudly that Grace flinched and threw herself into Blaine's chest. Blaine stood up and left the room. A few seconds later he came back empty-handed. Kurt was still screaming.

-

"Kurt," Kurt felt someone shake his shoulder. "Kurt! Kurt!" Someone was calling his name very loudly, they seemed to be in a panic. He rolled over and tried to open his eyes, but it seemed to be very hard to do so. 

"Kurt, calm down, you're okay," the voice said again. Blaine, Kurt realised, that was Blaine. He willed his eyes open again, this time more successfully. Light streamed into his eyes, making him blink. 

"Blaine," he muttered, trying to open his eyes again to see why Blaine was screaming at him. He still felt a sharp sting in his stomach, but once he brought his hand to his belly, it was flat. He let out a sigh of relief. He was not with child. He didn't understand why he would be in the first place, men could not get pregnant. He still didn't understand why Blaine had sounded so panicky, he had just had a weird dream, was all.

"Open your eyes please, Kurt," he still sounded worried, which in turn made Kurt worry. 

Kurt's eyes fluttered open again, this time able to handle the light. "What's going on?" Kurt asked the same time Blaine said, "there you are." 

Blaine softly smiled at Kurt, but Kurt could still make out the traces of worry on his face. He looked older. "How are you feeling?"

Kurt shrugged, he didn't know how he was feeling. His mind was a little fuzzy again. He sneezed, "my tummy hurts, but I don't think I feel too bad otherwise." 

"You've been coughing quite a bit and you definitely have a fever, we should be concerned, Kurt," Blaine's eyes shone with sincerity. 

"About what?" Kurt questioned. Blaine sighed, looking increasingly worried again. "Kurt, the virus, do you remember?" 

"Oh, yes, the virus," Kurt sighed, remembering his worries about infecting Blaine. He immediately sat up to look if Blaine was keeping enough distance. 

"Blaine, you need to leave the room," Kurt instantly said, he had gotten it all back now. "Kurt, please, we need to talk about this," Blaine took a step backwards, but refused to leave the room. 

"I think we should call the doctor, just to notify them. We can ask them whether you need to be tested or not," Blaine argued. 

"I'm fine, we shouldn't bother them. As I said yesterday, I don't want to waste the time of the health care workers when it can mean life or death for someone else," Kurt said firmly. If he could, he would've pushed Blaine out of the door. Thereafter he would barricade the door so that Blaine couldn't come in anymore. He was certain on keeping the virus from Blaine. 

"Kurt, I looked up the symptoms and you have some of the more serious ones. I'm worried and I think we should seek medical advice. I'm not saying that you have to get tested, I just want a professional's opinion on the matter." 

"Don't be dramatic, Blaine. Yes, I have a cough. I think I just had a fever dream, so we can check that box as well and sometimes I feel a little breathless. It's nothing resting won't fix," Kurt said. 

"Kurt, yesterday when you first woke up, you had forgotten that we're divorcing. You'd forgotten that we're in the middle of a pandemic. Confusion is one of the things on the list for seeking immediate medical care. I am not overreacting," Blaine now had tears in his eyes. 

"Hey, don't cry," Kurt said, aching to wrap an arm around Blaine to comfort him. 

"I just- I don't want you to die," Blaine said, tears still threatening to fall down his cheeks. Blaine slumped against the door, seemingly not able to keep himself up anymore. 

"I'm not going to die, Blaine. I won't let this kill me," Kurt took a deep breath to show Blaine that he was alright. He was still breathing. "If it really makes you feel better, then we can call a doctor and get their opinion." 

"I would like that," Blaine said softly, tears now rolling down his face. Kurt hated to see Blaine in this state. He hated not being able to provide any comfort for the man even more. They may be getting a divorce, but Kurt still deeply cared about the other man. Something that seemed to be mutual judging by Blaine's outburst. 

"Okay, remember when I broke my pinky after you accidentally closed the door on it? We should call the practice we went to back then, they were good," Kurt said, Blaine nodded in agreement. 

"Yes, I liked how they treated us and you're registered there," Blaine agreed, he already had his phone in his hand. He dialled the number. Blaine put the speakerphone on so that Kurt could listen in on the conversation. 

It was busy at the doctor's office, they were put on the waiting list before they could speak to anyone. They had to wait for close to a quatre of an hour before they could speak to anyone. 

"Hello, this is general practice Van Moren, you're speaking with Vanessa, how can I help you?" The assistant answered. 

"Hello, this is Blaine Anderson speaking, I'm calling because I'm concerned about the health of my husband. I fear he is infected with COVID-19," Blaine said, waiting for further instructions. 

"Why are you concerned? What symptoms is he showing?" Vanessa asked. 

"He has the cough. He's had a fever for at least 24 hours. He's been a bit breathless and he seems to be a little confused sometimes as well," Blaine listed. 

"Okay, that sounds like COVID, could you put you husband on the phone?" Vanessa asked. Blaine threw the phone on the bed to avoid touching Kurt. 

"Sorry about that," Kurt said before introducing himself. 

"Mr Hummel, how severe is your breathlessness?" Vanessa asked, remaining completely professional. 

"Talking a lot seems to trigger it and I haven't really left the bed in the last 36 hours," Kurt explained. 

"And the confusion your husband was talking about? Do you recollect anything of that?" Kurt shook his head at the question. 

"He says I woke up yesterday and forgot that we're actually getting a divorce. He also says I didn't remember being amidst a pandemic. I do remember feeling fuzzy, which has happened more often since I developed a fever." Vanessa hummed but didn't really respond. Kurt could hear her nails on the keys of the keyboard. She asked Kurt about some information, then told him she'd write in his file that he possibly had the virus. 

"Do I need to get tested?" Kurt asked anxiously. 

"For now, I think you would be fine with self-isolation. Please read the guidelines regarding the isolation on the website of the CDC and if the symptoms get any worse, don't hesitate to call," Vannessa said and then ended the call. Kurt didn't want to admit it, but he felt relieved after getting the opinion of 

"See, nothing to worry about," Kurt said to Blaine triumphantly. Blaine shook his head, seeing right through Kurt. "You were worried as well."

"Have you looked at the proper way to care for me already?" Kurt asked Blaine, who nodded. 

"Yes, I'll need to rigorously clean every surface that's high-touch, we need to keep our distance, at least one of us should wear a facemask if we're in the same room and we shouldn't share any personal household items," it was as if Blaine had memorised it all already. 

Kurt immediately covered his mouth with the shirt he was wearing. He was glad he'd worn a shirt this time, it felt good to do something to keep Blaine safe. "You should cover your mouth as well, Blaine. I really don't want you to get sick as well. One of us suffering is enough." Blaine complied and pulled his shirt over his mouth as well. 

"So, I'm gonna get to scrubbing all surfaces. You just stay here, eat and keep yourself hydrated, okay?" Blaine instructed Kurt nodded obediently. "Oh and if you feel just a tiny bit worse, you need to tell me, okay. This assistant telling you to stay home has not erased all of my worries." 

Kurt watched Blaine leave the room. He had realised that he liked the way Blaine still cared about him. It made him feel warm inside. He felt slightly better just knowing Blaine was there to look after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the beginning wasn't too weird for you all. I'm not big on Mpreg, but I felt like it portrayed that Kurt was having a fever dream pretty well. Also, not sure if the described procedure is accurate. However, not everyone seems to be able to get tested, so therefore I think it could pass.


	10. Day Ten

Kurt had hoisted himself up and dragged himself to the bathroom to freshen up a little. He wasn't feeling much better, but he believed that giving himself a good wash and some fresh clothes would do him well. He'd relieved himself afterwards and quickly gotten back to bed. Throughout the entire affair, he had been shivering like a leaf. He was cold, ice cold. Colder than his heart had ever been accused of being. 

Ince back in bed, he curled up trying to retain some of his body warmth. He wished he could get Blaine into bed to share body warmth with him, Blaine was always warm. But they couldn't, Blaine couldn't get sick as well. They had to stay apart, no matter how much it hurt the both of them. 

A soft knock sounded on the bedroom door, followed by Blaine pushing it open. He had a cup of freshly made chicken soup and a bottle of water in his hands. "Hi," Blaine said softly, he seemed reluctant to approach Kurt. 

"Hi," Kurt replied, but it was barely audible. Going to the bathroom had drowned all of Kurt's energy. He wanted to talk to Blaine, but he just didn't seem to be able to. His body refused to obey his mind. He couldn't uncurl himself, as he was still cold. He tried to lift his head, but it seemed to be unmovable. He didn't want Blaine to worry, so he desperately tried to find a way to show Blaine that he was awake. 

Kurt resorted to humming, which went him off better than talking. He hoped that the deep growl from within his chest showed Blaine he was awake. 

"Are you alright?" Blaine sounded panicky, everything Kurt was trying to avoid. "I heard you in the bathroom, just wanted to know if everything had gone well," Blaine said, he had positioned himself in such a way that he could have eye contact with Kurt. Kurt was thankful that Blaine had found a solution of his own. He nodded to tell Blaine that everything had gone well and then muttered, "tired." 

"Can you sit up? I brought soup. Thought you would be cold, so I got you something warm." Kurt could kiss Blaine in that moment, it would be hard to sit up, but if he could get something warm into his stomach that'd help him. Blaine just knew exactly how to aid him best. Kurt was very glad that he was stuck with his ex-husband. No one, except for maybe his dad, would be able to take such good care of him. 

Blaine had to watch as his ex-husband dragged himself up against the headboard. He had dark circles under his eyes and was paler than he'd ever been, something that highlighted how sickly he looked. "I know I shouldn't come this close to you," Blaine handed Kurt the soup, "but you don't look like you'll be able to reach this." 

Kurt gladly took the bowl from Blaine, practically wrapping his body around it. "S'alright," Kurt weakly smiled at him. Blaine returned the smile and showed Kurt his gloves. "Trying to be as safe as possible." 

Kurt mouthed a thank you to Blaine as he spooned the first spoonful of soup inside. Feeling the warm liquid go down his throat into his stomach was a big relief. "Feels good," he hummed happily. He felt himself warm up a little from inside out. 

"I'm gonna leave now, I'll be back in half an hour to collect the bowl again. Make sure to at least drink half of the bottle of water as well, you need to stay hydrated, Kurt," Blaine instructed. Kurt nodded carefully as to not spill any soup. 

Kurt emptied spoonful after spoonful of soup into his mouth until the bowl was empty. He just wanted to revel in the warmth it provided him. Blaine had also told him to drink water, so Kurt leaned over to put the bowl on the nightstand and to swap it for the water bottle. He moved to fast and felt the soup come up again. He swallowed and breathed carefully, willing the contents of his stomach to stay down. Instead of taking the bottle from the nightstand, he pushed the bowl on the nightstand and fell with his face into the pillow. He pulled his legs close to his body to curl up again. 

Kurt was exhausted and he wanted to sleep, but sleep seemed to escape him. His stomach hurt too much for him to be able to sleep now. He wanted to call for Blaine to tell him to have something ready at his bedside in case he had to throw up, but he knew he wouldn't be able to scream loud enough for Blaine to hear him. He was also too exhausted to reach for his phone, which was on the nightstand on the other side of the bed. 

-

Somehow sleep had taken Kurt. When he woke up again, he had a terrible headache. Blaine was vacuuming, which certainly wasn't helping his case. It was very bright in the room and Kurt could barely keep his eyes open. It just hurt so much. 

Kurt was thankful that Blaine had taken the cleaning instructions very seriously. He had rigorously cleaned the entire apartment the day before. He had wiped the floors and disinfected every surface in the house. He'd scrubbed every inch of the bathroom as well, spending extra time on it as they would have to share it. At that moment, Kurt wished Blaine hadn't been so diligent with his cleaning. 

The lingering pillow was the victim of the last strength of Kurt's arms. He pulled it over his head to block out the noises Blaine was making as well as the sharp light from outside. He felt too weak to get up to pull the curtains closed. Apart from moving his arms, he hadn't moved. He also didn't want to, afraid another wave of nausea would wash over him if he did. 

The noise of the vacuum cleaner cut out and Kurt let out a sigh of relief. His head still hurt badly, but one less impulse was very welcome. If only the curtain could be closed again, he wouldn't have to keep the pillow over his face. The pillow was making it harder to breathe, something he'd sometimes struggled with anyway. 

Kurt could hear Blaine approach the bedroom, he was torn about whether he wanted Blaine to enter the room or not. He could possibly close the curtain for him, however, Blaine would also talk. The chance that Blaine's voice would worsen his headache was quite significant. 

Just the door opening and banging against the wardrobe was like a bomb exploding to Kurt. Normally he didn't mind. For once he hadn't scolded Blaine about that before, but now he wished he had. "You awake?" Blaine asked, it wasn't loud, but to Kurt, it was as if he were screaming through a megaphone. 

"Kurt, you can't cover your face, please," Blaine pulled on the pillow that made it harder for Kurt to breath. 

"No," Kurt said loudly, wincing as his voice resonates through the room.

"Why not?" Blaine sighed. He seemed annoyed with Kurt. 

"Too bright," Kurt supplied, clutching the pillow over his head again. 

"Do you want me to close the curtains?" Kurt wanted to nod in agreement, but Blaine wouldn't be able to see his cover head. So he had to speak again, although he didn't like to hear the sound of his own voice at this very moment. Normally he didn't really have a problem with that, people had often accused him of talking way too much. 

Blaine manoeuvred himself to the window and pulled the curtain shut. The sound of the hooks sliding over the railing was a relief to Kurt. The noise itself wasn't, but the idea of just laying there without something covering his face definitely was. As soon as the noise stopped, he pushed the pillow from his face and looked Blaine in the eye. 

"Why didn't you drink the water?" Blaine said accusingly. Kurt sighed, he had wanted to drink it but wasn't capable of actually doing so. He knew Blaine was looking out for his health, however, he didn't like being schooled. 

"I almost puked all over the carpet when I put the bowl down," Kurt said, hoping it was enough for Blaine. 

"You need to stay hydrated, Kurt," Kurt saw concern flush Blaine's face. "I shouldn't have given you the soup," Blaine was getting mad at himself now. 

"No, no, the soup was great. I was so cold and that made it better," Kurt said, he didn't want Blaine to feel bad about himself. He was trying his hardest and Kurt knew he was. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine muttered. "You shouldn't be, you're great." 

"Kurt, there's salt in the soup. It'll contribute to dehydration. I should've thought about that." 

"Blaine, I wouldn't want anyone else taking care of me. You're doing a great job. Thank you," Kurt tried to sound sincere, he wanted to get through to Blaine. 

Blaine didn't say anything for a while. Kurt hoped that meant he'd touched Blaine with his words. He was a bit sad he couldn't see Blaine's face. He knew he'd be able to read on it whether he'd achieved exactly what he wanted or not. 

"Can you empty the bottle for me now? Please?" Blaine begged Kurt. Kurt didn't want to disappoint him. He knew Blaine would be making those damn puppy eyes at him, although he couldn't see them.

"I'll try," Kurt said, hoisting himself up again so that he could sit against the headboard. He felt around the nightstand, knocking the bottle to the floor. Blaine was quickly on his knees to find the bottle. He handed it to Kurt, their hands touching. 

"Are you not wearing the gloves anymore?" Kurt asked as he shortly felt the warmth of Blaine's skin against his own. 

"Shit, I forgot," Blaine cursed. "I'll- uhm- I'll just wash my hands." 

"Yes, I'll empty this bad boy now and then you can leave again," Kurt told Blaine, opening the bottle. He brought it to his lips and enjoyed the cool liquid going down his sore throat. He was still coughing and his throat was burning on the inside. Filling his stomach activated the nausea again. Kurt didn't stop drinking though, he wanted to empty the bottle. For Blaine. 

"Done," he said after the last sip. "Can you bring over a bucket though."

"i'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine said. He left the room and brought him the bucket. He placed it on the floor next to the bed. Kurt hoped he'd be able to find it, if needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish the last couple of chapters were a bit longer, but it turns out that it'd quite hard to write extensively about Kurt being ill. I also feel like the story is getting stuck because of it. I'd like to keep the fic from his point of view though, so bear with me for at least a couple more days! I hope I can do better!


	11. Day Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the lovely messages on the last chapter!

Kurt blinked against the harsh light that fell through the slid between the curtains. He groaned at the light hitting him in the face. He wondered what time it was since it was getting lighter earlier and earlier again. He reached for his phone on the nightstand to check the time. 10 AM, not too bad. He sat up and pulled the curtains back, enjoying some of the sun on his skin. 

He rolled over in the bed and noticed that he didn't have the banging headache anymore. He was actually enjoying the sun, whereas he couldn't stand it the day before. He was glad that the headache was gone, it would certainly make getting through the day easier. He could use his phone or fall back into the story world of his current read. He could kind of function like a proper human being again. 

His stomach seemed to be at bay as well, he hadn't eaten yet though. He was waiting on Blaine to storm into his room and force some food on him. He had a bit of an appetite, so maybe it wouldn't be forcing food down this once. 

Instead of waiting for Blaine to get into the room, Kurt shot him a text telling him he was awake and that he wouldn't mind some yoghurt for breakfast. He also asked Blaine to bring him his book. He was actually annoyed that he couldn't just walk into the other room to retrieve the items himself. However, the website of the CDC had clearly stated that he should stay isolated within their apartment as well. Just as to not put Blaine in danger, he would stay in the bedroom for at least 72 hours after the symptoms had disappeared entirely. He couldn't imagine being cooped up in the room for another 3 days, as he liked to be productive, but it had to be like that. 

Blaine can into the room not much later, he had the book, another bottle filled with water and a bowl with fresh fruit and yoghurt in his hand. "Hey, you doing better?"

"Good morning, Blaine!" Kurt said enthusiastically, if a bit sarcastic. "But yes, I'm feeling much better. You can vacuum as much as you want today." 

Blaine furrowed his brows, "what?" 

Kurt chuckled, "Oh, I was about to die when you were vacuuming yesterday. The noise was so loud and it was echoing from the walls." 

Blaine's face fell, "I'm sorry, Kurt. Why didn't you tell me?" Kurt wanted to touch Blaine to soothe him. 

"Hey, it's alright, really. I wouldn't have been able to scream loud enough yesterday. I felt very weak, but I'm better now," Kurt quickly added the latter part to take away all the worry. Although he knew Blaine wasn't fooled as easily. "Thank you for bringing in this stuff by the way," Kurt held up the bowl of yoghurt he'd digged into. 

The food was doing him good. He felt better. The cough was still there and would probably keep on bothering for a bit, but that definitely hadn't been the worst part. His body was still weak, that could most likely be cured with a bit of resting and then he'd be good as new again. Kurt instantly felt happier now that his health seemed to be better. The prospect of being able to touch Blaine again was also helping in that. 

"No problem, please holler for me if you need anything else," Blaine smiled and left the room again. Kurt was glad that Blaine's eyes were so expressive. He could tell Blaine was smiling at him just by the twinkle in his eye. The little laugh wrinkles helped in that as well. They were adorable. Or they were on Blaine, Kurt hoped to not get them until he hit 30 at least. Moisturizing, people!

Not being able to see Blaine's mouth also had its advantages, it meant that he wasn't reminded of how kissable those damned lips were. He could still imagine them and dream about them, but seeing them in the flesh was different. Seeing them in close proximity was way harder to resist, especially since Blaine had been so nice to him. He could feel himself getting weak. He wasn't as sure if the divorce was really the best idea. When he and Blaine weren't fighting, they actually worked pretty well. Over the days, Kurt had realised that Blaine would still walk over water for him. He hadn't thrown him out of the apartment. He had taken up caring for Kurt. He had called a medical professional to assume Kurt's health wasn't in immediate danger. He had definitely gone the extra mile to make the sucky situation better. 

Being here had given Kurt time to reevaluate his relationship with Blaine and what the divorce could possibly mean for them. He knew he couldn't just write Blaine out of the story that his life was. Blaine was too important to him, he just couldn't do that. However, he also knew he couldn't expect Blaine to remain in contact with him, no matter how much he wanted that to happen. 

Kurt needed to talk to someone about the situation he found himself in. He also needed to be honest with himself. Why weren't he and Blaine working out? Blaine was the most compatible person he'd ever been with. If soulmates were real, Kurt was 99.9% sure that Blaine was his. They just worked so well together. It had all come so effortlessly. Until it hadn't any more. What had changed? What caused all the fighting? Was it just Blaine being annoying and not taking Kurt into account? Was there something else to it as well? Kurt had never allowed himself to dig that deep. He didn't know if he'd be able to do so, it might be too painful. 

What if he came up with the solution? What if he figured out why they weren't working anymore? What if he could cure whatever was tearing them apart? What if he wanted Blaine back, but Blaine didn't want him anymore? Kurt didn't want to think about that. Sure, Blaine had said that he still wanted to be Kurt's husband. He'd told Kurt to keep calling him Blaine Anderson-Hummel, but what did that mean really? They were in a weird situation, Blaine surely couldn't be thinking straight now, could he? They had just had sex. They had relived the connection between them. They had felt whatever was left between them. It had been a goodbye for Kurt, yet also a new beginning. 

Kurt was lost, he just didn't know anymore. He didn't know what he really wanted. He didn't know what Blaine wanted, something that had been so clear to him for a long time. He didn't possess the ability to read minds, but with Blaine, he'd come awfully close. They just knew each other that well. But he had lost that when he'd also lost that connection to Blaine. 

Kurt rolled out of bed, fed up with his mind. Yesterday the noises of the outside world had been too loud, now his own thoughts were. "Aargh," he groaned. He lightly grasped on his hair, trying to shut his mind up. He knew it was pointless unless he contacted someone who could help him sort out his mind, he'd be stuck with his thoughts. Not even writing about it would help him. 

He needed to keep his mind busy. He wanted to do a workout, but he knew his body wasn't strong enough for that. He'd be breathless just 3 push-ups in, so that wasn't going to help either. Instead, he started to peel the sheets of the bed. They smelled. They reeked of sweat. Sweat from Blaine and Kurt's little adventure between the sheets. But more strongly of the sickly smell of someone who'd been ill. Kurt desperately wanted to wash the smell off of himself as well. Somehow he'd found something to keep his own mind busy, which he was glad for. 

He put the pile of sheets next to the door, he'd have to put them in a bin liner for now. Blaine shouldn't touch them, it could spread the virus to him. They also couldn't wash the sheets this very moment as the laundromat was closed. The entirety of it would be too big to do by hand as well. The best option would b to save it for later. Reluctantly Kurt rummaged through Blaine's closet to look for new sheets, which he found in the exact spot he'd left them in. 

"Blaine," Kurt screamed, he stood by the door. He wanted to stick his head out but couldn't allow himself to. He had covered his mouth and nose with a scarf and waited for Blaine to open the door. 

"Yes?" Blaine asked, unsure what Kurt wanted now. He had left not too long ago. "Can you bring me some bin liners?" 

"Bin liners? What would you need them for?" Blaine poked his head inside the bedroom and forwarded a couple of bin liners to Kurt. 

"I changed the sheets," Kurt proudly stated. 

"Kurt, please. Be careful, you need to be resting and here you are, running around like a maniac," Blaine sighed as he looked at Kurt. 

"You know I cannot just sit still, I need to do something," Blaine looked sceptic at that. It would be good if Kurt learnt to just be. 

"I'm putting the sheets in here," Kurt motioned to the bin liners, "I'll get them to a laundromat once this is all over." Blaine hummed, not sure what to make of it all. 

"Okay, you can go now," Kurt said as he put the sheets into the bags. He tied them up and hoped it'd be enough. Now onto the shower, his body needed a deep clean as well. Before he left the bedroom, he opened the window, that room was in dire need of some fresh air. 

In the shower, Kurt scrubbed his body. The little bits of his own shampoo that were still in there had run out, he'd have to use Blaine's now. He'd also have to use Blaine's body wash, making him smell like him. He would always put on Blaine's cologne or use his body wash when he was missing him, but now he was right there and it felt weird to do so. 

Kurt found the cleaning supplies for the bathroom in the cabinet underneath the sink, so he took his time cleaning. If he didn't do it well enough, he might give Blaine the virus as well. He still didn't want to do that. That was his only mission now. Do not get Blaine sick too. 

Once Kurt was back in the bedroom, he shivered. The fresh air had brought the cold back into the room as well. He closed the window and pulled the curtains back the entire way to allow the sun rays to fall inside. He dove underneath the blankets, cradling a pillow to his chest. Not much later, his ringtone went off. The sound was so foreign to him as he only facetimed or texted nowadays. 

"Hello?" Kurt said as he picked up, he forgot to introduce himself. 

"Hi? Is this Kurt Hummel?" Kurt looked at the caller ID as he was a bit confused at the person not introducing themselves either. It was Mrs Smith. 

"Hi! Yes, it's me, Kurt," Kurt said. Mrs Smith sighed in relief. 

"Good, I still know how to do this," she chuckled. Kurt's heart melted at the woman calling him. He hadn't expected her to. She had already proven that she was very attentive and Kurt had a lot to make up for once he returned to his own flat. 

"Yes, you seem to be doing fine. How are you? Please tell me you're not calling me because a fire has broken out in my apartment orso," Kurt said. He hoped he didn't sound too dramatic, but his mind had a thing for imagining the worst thing. 

"No, love. I was just calling to check up on you," the lady explained, brushing off Kurt's question. "You and your ex-husband both still alive?" 

Kurt chuckled, "yes, we're doing fine! I was pretty ill the past couple of days, but I seem to be much better today. He's been taking good care of me." 

"I'm glad to hear. We need to take care of each other in situations like these! I can't imagine being stuck with my ex though," Kurt was interested now. He'd love to hear stories about Mrs Smith's ex. 

"It's actually not that bad," Kurt replied. He was waiting for Mrs Smith to come out with a story now. 

"I'm glad, my ex-husband and I could only fight. We spent the entire divorce fighting in court as well. That bastard wanted to have the pearls my dad gave me for my 18th!" Kurt could hear the rage in her voice and tried his hardest not to laugh. 

"Blaine's not like that. He would never," Kurt mused. 

"That's what I thought with that douche as well, be careful Kurt!"

"Blaine is a true gentleman, he would never do anything to purposefully hurt me," Kurt told her once again. 

"You're very defensive of a man you're divorcing," Mrs Smith noted. 

"I can't help it. People mustn't get the wrong idea of him. We're divorcing because we were fighting constantly, not because he is an awful person," Kurt explained. 

"Do you still love him?" The question stroke Kurt with surprise. It had come out of nowhere, he hadn't expected the conversation to take that turn. He didn't know whether he still loved Blaine. For the last three months, he'd been telling himself that he didn't. But he'd lie if being close to Blaine hadn't made him feel slightly more at peace. 

The sudden question had taken Kurt of guard, he just didn't know how to answer it. "I-uhm- I don't know," Kurt answered truthfully. He couldn't lie to Mrs Smith. 

"Oh, honey," was all she said. It sounded as if she felt sorry for him. "It was good to hear your voice. I wish you the best of luck with your illness, I hope you're on the road to recovery."

"Thank you," Kurt breathed. 

"Cut your husband some slack, Kurt," was all Mrs Smith said before she hung up. No proper goodbye, that was all. It left Kurt confused more than anything else.


	12. Day Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, y'all are going to hate me. But yea, Corona life sucks.

Darkness, that's what Kurt saw when he next woke up. His body was still exhausted due to the fever he'd experienced earlier. His sleeping schedule was all over the place since he had nothing better to do than scrolling through his phone, reading or sleeping. Often even falling asleep whilst doing the former two. He wanted to get up or at least sit up, but it felt as if he was nailed to the bed. He couldn't move. His limbs were replaced with those of an elephant. However, when he looked at them, they looked even more pathetic than they ever had. The muscles he'd built up seemed to have disappeared, although it was a bit harder to judge in the dark of the room. 

It was hard to breathe too. It felt like Blaine was lying on top of him, but he wasn't. Kurt was all alone in the dark bedroom. A thousand bricks on top of him and no way to get them off. Kurt felt trapped and it scared him. He was young and fit, he wasn't supposed to feel like this. This was how he imagined the elderly felt, or people with asthma, not him. He felt like less of a human than he ever had before. He was weak and pathetic.

He wanted to move, maybe a different position would allow him to breathe better. But he still couldn't move. He groaned. Then groaned even harder, he needed Blaine to hear him. Blaine would be able to help him. Blaine would temporarily forget about the rules they'd set up for themselves and help him because that's what Blaine does. Blaine is always there and willing to help. That was one of the things he'd always loved about Blaine. 

Ever so slowly, Kurt raised his arm. It took him a lot to do so, but he did get to his end goal; the nightstand. Once he felt the cool wood of the nightstand under his fingers, he felt around for something else. He hoped he would be able to find something else than his phone. He wasn't sure if it'd be loud enough and he'd rather not break a phone for this. It might come in handy later on. 

The other item on the nightstand was the lamp they'd taken from Blaine's dorm room. Kurt didn't want to anger Blaine by breaking it. It seemed like he didn't really have another choice though. So he saved his phone by bumping it onto the mattress. Then he pulled the cord of the lamp. He waited for the impact of the lamp on the floor. He prayed it would be loud enough for Blaine to hear it. He also hoped Blaine would remember to bring something to cover his mouth. He needed Blaine, but he still didn't want to get him ill as well. 

He heard some rummaging in the other room, which meant Blaine probably heard the lamp colliding with the hardwood flooring. The door was pushed open and the light switched on. "Off!" Kurt hissed at the sharp light. The banging headache was back. He hadn't noticed it before, but now he couldn't imagine how he hadn't. The headache was present like a Rachel Berry. You couldn't get around her, she would get you one way or another. 

Blaine switched the light off again, "Kurt, what's this all about?" He sounded tired and Kurt cursed himself for it. He'd put a big burden on Blaine already and now he wouldn't get a decent night of sleep either. 

"Sorry," Kurt muttered, forgetting to tell Blaine what he came for. 

"Did you drop something?" Kurt nodded, not realising Blaine probably couldn't see that. "Words please," Blaine said, inching closer to the bed. 

"The lamp," Kurt said, he tried for it to sound loud and that it did, only because of the silence of the night. 

"Why?" Before Kurt could answer, Blaine added, "I'm gonna have to turn on the light, Kurt. I'm sorry."

"No," Kurt said fiercely. Now that Blaine was here, he didn't want him to see how weak he was. 

"Kurt please, not this again. We've been over this, if something's wrong and I can help you, you need to tell me. And if you don't then I will just have to see for myself," Blaine turned the lights on again. Kurt squinted, he wanted to see Blaine. He needed to know if Blaine had taken the right precautions before asking him to move him to a different position, preferably more upright. He also wanted to make sure that Blaine wasn't angry with him or very worried. 

"Blaine, why is there nothing covering your mouth," Kurt schooled. Suddenly he could speak more than the one or two words he'd muttered before. Blaine shrugged, "dunno."

"Get it," Kurt instructed. He was still awfully uncomfortable in the position he was in, however, something in him said to protect the other man. It was more important than he himself was. He could wait, at least for a bit. 

Blaine returned with a scarf covering his face. "Now tell me why you woke me up by knocking over my lamp at arse o'clock," Blaine looked at Kurt. Kurt could see the worry grow on Blaine's face the longer he didn't answer them. 

"It's uhm," Kurt took a deep breath, slightly embarrassed, "it's hard to breathe." 

"Kurt, you should've immediately said something! This is serious! You cannot brush it over, we need to be careful," Blaine scolded, immediately walking towards the bed. "What do you need me to do?" 

"Help me sit up?" Blaine's eyes grew bigger and bigger every second. "I can't, Kurt," he stammered. 

Kurt's breaths started to get shorter as he started to panic. Blaine's reaction wasn't supposed to be like that. He wasn't supposed to worry him. Blaine would come to help him and then they'd go back to sleep again. 

"Kurt, no, slow and deep breaths," Blaine rearranged the pillow that wasn't under Kurt's head. Thereafter, he took the one beneath Kurt. He carefully lifted his head and kept it up while placing the other pillow on top of the one already in his preferred position. He gently placed Kurt's had on the mattress again, in favour of moving onto the mattress. He was on his knees and hoisted Kurt against his body. He had Kurt's body lying against his and moved the pillows in such a way that he could almost drape Kurt across them. Kurt hadn't eaten much the last couple of days, so he wasn't that heavy. Not that he'd ever been, but Blaine noticed the weight difference. 

"Better?" Blaine asked as he made his way off of the bed. Kurt nodded, but his breathing was still fast and shallow. He wasn't dishonest with Blaine though, he really felt slightly better. Knowing Blaine was close also helped in that. If something were to go wrong, Blaine was there to help him. 

"Okay, good. I need you to drink something though," Blaine said. Kurt didn't understand why, but if that's what Blaine wanted, then he'd do it. Blaine got out of the bathroom with a glass almost filled to the brim with water. 

"You need to stay hydrated," he said as he placed the glass on Kurt's bottom lip. Kurt tilted his head to take a sip. Blaine spilt some of the water, but in the end, most ended up getting into Kurt. 

"I'm going to stay here," Blaine said resolutely. Kurt shook his head if he had the virus, which he was pretty sure he had, then he couldn't have Blaine in the same room for longer than necessary. "There's no need to argue. I'm here and looking at you. I need to make sure you're not getting worse. We're also going to the doctor's office first thing in the morning." 

Kurt wanted to protest, but he knew it wouldn't help. It would probably be for the better if he went there. Maybe he could get something to relief his a bit. Blaine left the room and only came back with the suede armchair that barely fit through the door. 

"Just try to get some sleep, I'll be here," Blaine said. He shut the lights and settled down in the armchair with the blanket he'd taken from the couch. 

-

Somehow, Kurt had fallen asleep. When he woke up again, he felt slightly better than he had during the night. His limbs were still heavy, but the slightly upright position he'd slept in had lowered the pressure on his lungs. He wasn't back to normal, nowhere near actually, but it felt like a big difference. 

"How're you feeling?" Blaine had immediately noticed that Kurt had woken up.

"Better?" Kurt said. The headache was still present but seemed to have lessened a bit as well. The only negative was that he felt hot. It was as if he was wearing a three-piece suit in winter fabrics during the middle of summer. Kurt quickly pushed the blankets down, kicking them to the bottom of the bed. 

"What're you doing?" Blaine asked, he looked really conflicted. 

"Hot," Kurt told him. He was back to impolitely answering questions with one word again. It just seemed as if his head couldn't process more than that. The movement in his body had partially come back again though, judging by the ease with which he'd gotten rid of the blanket. 

"Okay, I'm going to call the doctor's office to let them know we'll come in," Blaine told Kurt. "Do you need help getting dressed?" Kurt nodded, he wouldn't be strong enough to do all that. Blaine nodded an okay. 

Kurt waited for Blaine on the bed. He felt absolutely helpless. Most of the time he waited for Blaine on the bed, he was naked and awaiting some hot sex with his husband. Now he was waiting for his ex-husband to dress him. 

"They can have us in an hour, I called a cab to take us there as well," Blaine said as he walked in. He stripped Kurt of his t-shirt and dropped it next to the bathroom door. He retrieved a clean shirt from his own closet, not really caring about what Kurt would be wearing. "That warm enough?" Blaine asked, to which Kurt nodded. It felt good to be wearing Blaine's clothes again. It was better when Blaine's warmth still lingered in them, but still good. 

Blaine pulled Kurt's sweatpants down as well, taking the boxers down too. Kurt tried to wink at Blaine, but he seemed to be too busy to even notice. Suddenly, Kurt didn't like being dressed by Blaine anymore. He felt like a kid or worse an elder man. Blaine had thrown a clean pair of boxers and some joggers on the bed nearby Kurt. Kurt reached out to take the boxers and slid them over his feet. He could do this himself, if somewhat slowly. Blaine reached out to help him, "no," Kurt snarled at him. 

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to help," Blaine spat back. 

"No," Kurt said again. "Please Kurt, just work with me here. I'm not going to spoonfeed you if that's what you're afraid about." Kurt felt some relief washing over him by that statement, it made him feel a little less like an old man. 

Kurt ate little from the yoghurt Blaine brought him. Then Blaine forced some more down his throat, arguing that he'd need it for the walk to the doctor's office. Kurt had grumbled but obeyed. 

"C'mon, we're going now. I can't carry you, you're going to have to walk yourself, Kurt," Blaine said, sliding an arm across Kurt's back and letting him lean on him. Kurt nodded, determined to make it to the lift. In the lift, he slumped against the wall, barely holding himself up. Luckily, the cab was already out in front of the building. 

"Oh man, he looks bad," the cab driver greeted them. Kurt saw Blaine lose some of the hope he'd had. It made him feel bad as well, despite knowing that he wasn't doing very good. 

At the doctor's office, he was seen quite quickly. He barely had to wait. The same doctor as last time had seen him and first directed the questions to Kurt. When it appeared that he didn't answer much, she'd switched to Blaine. He had answered the questions truthfully, glancing at Kurt for approval after every single answer. Blaine had been more honest than Kurt would've liked. The doctor had agreed to test him for COVID quite often as well. 

"Okay, this might seem daunting, but this needs to go up your nose. We'll take a sample and tomorrow I'll call you with the results," the doctor explained before pushing the cotton swap up Kurt's nose. The feeling was terrible and made Kurt cough. He didn't want to ever have that done to him again. 

"In the meantime, I'm going to prescribe you some medication to hopefully reduce your symptoms," the doctor explained. 

"He doesn't need to go to the hospital?" Blaine asked, clearly surprised. 

"No, he can still breathe pretty well. Due to the fever, he's been confused I gathered and we hope to reduce those symptoms with the medication. I don't see the need for him to go to the hospital. If the situation worsens, then we'll need to reevaluate. So, I'm asking you to carefully monitor him," she told Blaine. Blaine nodded. Kurt had been present in the room, but most of it had gone over his head. 

"Take care," the doctor told the pair. Blaine nodded and Kurt barely acknowledged her, way too busy with keeping himself upright. 

The drive back to the apartment was uneventful. Blaine profusely thanked the driver for taking them to the doctor's office and slightly overdid it with the tips as well. The driver deserved it though, he said. Not that Kurt noticed. Kurt could barely keep his eyes open at this point, let alone walk. 

"He doesn't look well," the doorman commented when the pair stepped into the apartment. "Thanks for the peas by the way! My wife loved them. If I can help you in any way, please don't hesitate to call!" Blaine just nodded at the man, too busy helping his ex-husband into the lift. They struggled to get to the apartment, normally it didn't even take a minute to get there. They used five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is a bit rushed, sorry for that. I didn't really have the required information to properly work out the scene at the doctor's office. And the chapter was quite lengthy already as well, not that that's an excuse, but yea idk.


	13. Day Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you: the longest chapter so far!

Due to the fever Kurt's sleeping schedule was an absolute mess. He was waking up in the middle of the night. Then falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the day again. He didn't really like it, but he didn't have much of a say in changing it as his body was so exhausted. He would just fall asleep in the middle of something. Normally, he would make sure to do something active, but he had spaghetti for limbs now, so that wouldn't work out. 

When he did wake up at 2 PM on their thirteenth day of the lockdown and their fifth day of being in quarantine, he felt slightly better again. The medication had reduced his fever to a bare minimum, so it was barely noticeable to him. He also felt like he was breathing more freely, but he'd learned his lesson. He did so the harsh way, resting was the key to recovery. No matter how hard it was for him to just sit still and do nothing. The only way he'd liked to sit still and do nothing was if it were in Blaine's arms, but he couldn't allow himself that luxury. First of all, Blaine would get sick too and second of all, they signed those god awful divorce papers. Now that he'd been close to Blaine again for quite some time without actually fighting, he kind of started to regret requesting those papers in the first place. He and Blaine worked, if they didn't, they wouldn't have survived the almost two weeks that had passed. He thought about reconsidering the divorce and the more he thought about it, the more he believed there was a future for him and Blaine. A future in which they could be together.

He didn't know how he could tell Blaine they might have a future together. Blaine had signed the papers as well, meaning he obviously agreed with Kurt. He agreed enough to actually do it. Kurt hadn't sat him down to do so, that was all him. It crushed Kurt knowing it was really over. He was really upset about it, so much so that his cheeks were wet with tears. 

"Kurt," Blaine burst into the room again, "Hey, what's wrong?" 

Kurt shrugged in response, too embarrassed to tell Blaine that he wanted him back. He had screwed them over, he was the one to suggest the divorce. He ripped them apart. Something had needed to happen because of the endless fights, but they could've tried something else. It was only then that Kurt realised they never had a real talk about their fights until he suggested for them to have a divorce. Blaine had agreed quite easily, something which had hurt Kurt badly. He hadn't really meant it, he was just so fed up that they had fought for the umpteenth day in a row that he had just screamed something. In the last three months, he'd tried really hard to forget Blaine. Now with Blaine in close proximity again, he realised he couldn't. 

Blaine sat down at the end of the bed, rubbing Kurt's blanket-covered foot. "Hey, you gonna tell me what's wrong?" He asked again, very softly. 

Kurt shook his head, "No, it's just stupid. The medication is messing with my head." 

"Are you sure?" Kurt nodded, he didn't dare to look Blaine in the eye, knowing it'd break him even more if he did so. 

"I'll bring you some yoghurt," Blaine told Kurt before he disappeared from the room again. Kurt waited for him to get back, furiously wiping away the tears. It was pathetic for him to be crying. He had already spent the majority of the last three months crying as well. He was finally doing slightly better and now this stupid lockdown had to happen. Kurt had thrown himself into work as much as he could, requesting more and more hours. His boss hadn't mind, she was actually quite glad he was willing to do more hours. His other colleagues had told him he'd lost it, but Kurt didn't care. He didn't have a husband to keep him busy anymore and most of his friends were Blaine's friends as well after being together for a little over 4 years. The only person he'd regularly talked to was his father, the only man's who's unconditional love he had. His father was the one he had leant on, despite not having seen him in all that time.

When Blaine walked into the room again, Kurt wasn't crying anymore. He didn't look very good, but at least the tears had stopped. "Here you go," Blaine said as he handed the bowl to Kurt. "Thank you," Kurt said softly, greatly appreciating all the effort Blaine put into taking care of him. 

"It's alright," Blaine smiled at him, Kurt was glad to see that it reached his eyes and that the cute laugh wrinkles came out to play. He wanted to tell Blaine that he was adorable, but he couldn't. He would have to work really hard on forgetting what it was like to have Blaine in his life as a lover, he was sure of that. 

"Oh, by the way, they called from the doctor's office," Blaine said. He looked unsure to say more. 

"And? I got it, don't I?" Kurt said, his face dropping slightly. 

"They didn't tell me, they'd call back later." 

"You wanna watch a movie together?" Blaine asked Kurt. Kurt looked confused, Blaine couldn't sit next to him on the bed and he couldn't sit on the couch with Blaine either. Keeping distance. "I was thinking, if I give you my laptop and I turn on the TV and pick a movie on Netflix, then we could watch together," excitement was radiating off of Blaine. It was as if he had just invented the next best thing and it was adorable to see. Kurt suddenly forgot about feeling iffy and promptly agreed with Blaine. "Yay!" Blaine exclaimed, quickly leaving the room. 

Blaine dropped his laptop onto the bed. "What're we watching?" 

"What do you wanna watch? It was your idea after all," Kurt said, not wanting to make a decision. He was pretty sure Blaine would suggest something like Harry Potter or something as stupid as that. Blaine loved it and Kurt had never seen the joy of it. Whenever Blaine brought up the franchise, Kurt would just grumble and brush it off. He hadn't ever watched a full movie, but from what he'd seen, it was terrible. 

Blaine's eyes practically sparkled at the question, "Would you finally do me the honour of introducing you to the wonderful world of Harry Potter?" See, Kurt knew his ex-husband exceptionally well. Kurt grinned back at him, giving in. If he wanted to win Blaine back, he would have to put in some effort. What better way than getting into something Blaine absolutely loved?

"Are you serious?" It was as if Blaine couldn't believe what he'd just heard, he was so surprised. 

"Yes, Blaine I am in fact serious," Kurt shot back at him. It made him feel good to see Blaine this happy. 

"Don't forget to text me your comments!" Blaine pulled the door close behind him. 

Kurt opened the laptop and waited for it to start up. He was met with a password again, he tried their anniversary as that had been Blaine's password for his phone. It didn't work though. "Uhm, Blaine?" Kurt screamed to the other room. 

"Yes?" After some stumbling, Blaine's head popped back into the room. 

"What's your password?" Blaine turned a light shade of red. "I- uhm- I haven't gotten around to changing it, but it's the date we started dating officially." 

"Really?" Kurt asked, eyes wide. Blaine nodded and left the room again. A little hope sparked in Kurt's chest at the new knowledge he'd acquired. He pushed in the date and the laptop unlocked. He turned off the laptop again, just to pinch in that code again. It worked, he wasn't hallucinating. 

"You ready, Kurt?" Blaine screamed. 

"Neighbours, Blaine!" Kurt replied, willing the laptop to get to Netflix quicker. 

"Oh shut it, you've been knocking over lamps at arse o'clock, they can handle a little screaming," Blaine schooled him. Kurt chuckled softly, he knew Blaine was right. Maybe he wasn't always as perfect as he believed himself to be. He knew he had flaws, he wasn't that self-centred, but he prided himself in always following up the rules he and Blaine had set up. Maybe he hadn't always done that though. 

"It's up! What's the name of the first movie?" Kurt screamed back to him. 

"We could resort to text, you know. Our neighbours might appreciate that," Blaine responded. Kurt looked at his nightstand to see if his phone was there, it wasn't. "Wait a sec!" 

He had to pad down the entire bed just to find his phone underneath the pile of pillows. 

Kurt to Blaine 15.32  
Okay, so title?

Blaine to Kurt 15.33  
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, or if done properly Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Kurt to Blaine 15.33  
Why are there two titles?

Blaine to Kurt 15.34   
Because American's are stupid

Kurt to Blaine 15.34  
What's new? 

Blaine to Kurt 15.35  
Push the play button in 3,2,1!

Kurt to Blaine 15.35  
Done!

Blaine to Kurt 15.35  
Yay, enjoy!

Kurt stupidly smiled at his phone. Making Blaine happy was just so damn simple. 

Blaine to Kurt 15.36  
Stop looking at your phone!!

Kurt to Blaine 15.37  
How did you.. Oh whatever

Blaine to Kurt 15.38  
I know you, Kurt!

Kurt grumbled, Blaine did obviously know him. 

Kurt to Blaine 15.45  
All I've seen are people dressed terribly? Will that ever change?

Blaine to Kurt 15.46  
Just wait until Hogwarts Couture hits you!

Kurt to Blaine 15.46  
What's that supposed to mean?

Blaine to Kurt 15.46  
Just you wait and see! Hint: it's got robes :)

Kurt grimaced, robes probably would look even worse. Although they could possibly hide some of the ugly clothes as well. Maybe robes were the answer after all. 

Kurt to Blaine 15.57  
Will there be any handsome boy on my screen or is it just gonna be big fat or hairy men?

Blaine to Kurt 15.57  
Just enjoy the movie, Kurt. You don't have to watch a movie just to ogle at boys!! 

Kurt to Blaine 15.58  
If I wanted to ogle at someone I could just ask you to strip in my room

Kurt hadn't meant to press send, but accidentally did. He angrily tapped the screen, wishing he could just delete the message. He couldn't of course. A new message popped onto his screen, Blaine had sent a blushy face. Kurt resolutely shoved his phone underneath his pillows. He would just watch the movie, no texting Blaine anymore. He'd embarrassed himself enough for the day, first the crying and now this. 

After an hour, Blaine started to scream. "Kurt? Kurt!" Kurt was so into the movie that he didn't really hear Blaine.

So Blaine walked into the room and started teasingly undressing himself. That's what it took to regain Kurt's attention. "Oh, so you're gonna ogle me now?" Blaine teased. Kurt felt the blush rise on his cheeks. 

"Blaine, don't. Just get dressed again. I'm only going to be infecting you if you keep acting like that," Kurt said. It was a good cover. He was also glad that he had the laptop in his lap, because otherwise, his body would've given away the attraction he still had to the other man. He was still ill, but for some reason, his cock didn't care about that. It functioned just fine. 

Blaine sneezed as he pulled his joggers back up and zipped up his hoodie. Kurt's eyes widened, but he didn't dare say anything. 

"So, how're you liking Harry Potter so far?" Blaine asked. Kurt looked back at the screen. He had enjoyed the watch. He would definitely have to watch part of it back before starting the second movie as Blaine had distracted them. 

"Apart from the clothing, not bad. Like it's wonderful how they made all the robes and whatnot, but it could've been more fashionable," Kurt said. Blaine snorted at his answer. He walked over to the top of the bed to look at the screen as well. 

Kurt padded the bed. "Just sit." Blaine shook his head, but lingered. 

"I shouldn't," Blaine argued, although his body seemed to be longing to be close to Kurt's again. Kurt could tell by how he didn't move away. If he were honest, his body was craving human contact as well. 

"Just hold me," Kurt whispered. Blaine nodded and slid in. 

Together, they rewound the movie up until the point Blaine had wandered into Kurt's room. They watched until the credits rolled down at the end. Kurt had nestled himself against Blaine's chest, his cheek resting on his collar bone. He had draped Blaine's arm over his stomach in such a way that it didn't make breathing harder for him. 

"I- uhm- I think I caught it as well," Blaine coughed. He tried to pull the scarf from his mouth, but Kurt rewrapped it for him. It was kind of pointless as they had bodily contact as well, but it made Kurt feel better. The guilt of Blaine possibly having the virus as well was dripping in. 

At that moment, Blaine's phone rang. Blaine gently removed himself from Kurt's grip, whining at the loss of warmth. "Hello, this is Blaine Anderson, yes, he's with me, Here he is." Blaine handed the phone to Kurt, "Hello, Kurt Hummel." It stung to hear Blaine introduce himself as Blaine Anderson. Kurt had been adamant about him dropping the hyphen, but now that he actually did Kurt wished he hadn't. He should've never said that to Blaine. 

"Hi Kurt, I can confirm that you have the virus. I hope you're doing better. How's the medication?"

"It's good, I feel better. It's much better to be able to think straight! Those fever-induced dreams were no fun," he added. 

"I'm glad, be sure to keep your distance from your husband!" 

"I-uhm- I will," Kurt said, looking guiltily at Blaine. "Bye."

"And?" Blaine asked, Kurt just nodded. It was enough for Blaine. 

"Kurt, it was almost inevitable that I'd get it as well. We share a bathroom and it took a couple of days for you to get sick as well. I don't blame you. Like not at all. We'll get through this," Blaine looked Kurt directly in the eye, "we'll do this together!" Kurt nodded and let Blaine remove the scarf from both of their faces. His eyes flicked to Blaine's lips, they looked ever so kissable and he had to refrain himself from not leaning forward. He was dying to kiss Blaine again. 

"Just sit back again, let's watch another movie," Blaine pushed Kurt back against the pillows. He pressed himself against the side of Kurt's body again, tangled their legs and wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist. "You good?" Kurt nodded as he nuzzled into Blaine's chest. 

"I'm a bit tired though, so we can't watch the second movie," Kurt supplied as Blaine's finger hovered over the play button of the next movie. Blaine nodded and found them a rom-com they had watched many times before.

The begin credits hadn't even all passed before Kurt seemed to be asleep. 

"Gosh, what am I gonna do with you," Blaine whispered, he laced his hands in Kurt's hair. "You don't know what you do to me," Blaine sealed it with a kiss to Kurt's forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting there, Kurt finally has some sense of direction when it comes to his feelings for Blaine. Now all the bastard needs is some courage!


	14. Day Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of someone dying!

Kurt had much to think about after overhearing Blaine's words. So he still had the ability to elicit something in Blaine. He wasn't sure what, but the way in which Blaine had said it made him believe the feelings were pretty strong. Whether they were positive or not, was another thing he would have to think about.

It had felt so good to fall asleep in Blaine’s arms again. He had been slightly disappointed when he’d woken up at 4 AM and Blaine wasn’t there anymore. It also hadn’t helped with the ongoing debate in his head about whether Blaine still loved him or not. Many things that suggested that he did had happened. Blaine hadn’t pulled away when they had sex, he’d just participated in it. Blaine had cuddled with him before he fell asleep. Blaine had pressed a kiss in his hair a couple of times. Blaine had carried him to the bed and given up his place to sleep for Kurt. So many things, but they could also be explained differently. Blaine gave up his bed because Kurt was ill. Blaine had sex with him because he was half awake and his body just reacted naturally to Kurt’s. Blaine had carried him to the bed because he could barely walk himself. It were just the kisses that Kurt couldn’t explain differently. 

He also remembered that unfaithful night where he’d fallen ill. He hadn’t called for Blaine, he was just there already. He was leaning against the door post and Kurt didn’t have to say much for him to decide what was going to happen. To Kurt, it was all quite hard to explain. He didn’t understand, but he would have to find a way to be at peace with it. 

Kurt knew being in a tiny space together with his ex-husband wouldn’t be a good idea and the situation he found himself in now, did perfectly explain that. His head had been messed with. But if he were honest with himself, he knew that if he were at home he would’ve missed Blaine as well. He would’ve probably also regretted the divorce then. He had regretted the suggestion from the second it left his mouth. Blaine had looked crestfallen, but didn’t object. Another thing that threw Kurt off guard. 

-

“Blaine, Blaine,” Kurt yelled as he walked into the living room. All traces of his illness had faded. He was fit again, nothing wrong. 

Kurt’s eyes scanned the room, he couldn’t find Blaine. The couch was vacant, only the blanket Blaine had slept under was left. He wasn’t at the kitchen table. Kurt had no clue where he was. 

Back in the bedroom, Kurt rushed to the bathroom. The door opened with ease, Blaine hadn’t locked it. He also couldn’t hear the steady stream of the shower, so Blaine wasn’t showering. The door revealed an empty room to Kurt. Blaine wasn’t there and hadn’t been for a while either. The bathroom floor was dry. Kurt even padded down the sink and the shower to see if some wetness was left. 

He recklessly pulled the sheets of the bed, looking for Blaine. He had just gotten out of bed and he knew it was crazy to think Blaine could be there. It was as if Blaine had fallen flat of the earth. He was nowhere. Kurt panicked, he didn’t know what to do. Blaine would’ve told him if he’d left. This had happened before and Blaine had solemnly sworn that he would never ever do that to Kurt again. Not even during fights he’d done it again. He’d always take time to tell Kurt where he was going and when he’d be back again.

“Blaine, where are you? Please,” Kurt begged, he aimlessly walked around, pulling open cabinet after cabinet. But Blaine didn’t answer. 

Then Kurt noticed that the curtains were still closed, which was weird in and off itself. Blaine opened those when he woke up. It was one of the things Blaine always scolded Kurt for. Kurt had a habit of keeping them closed until he left the room for the day. Blaine opened the curtains first thing in the morning. He liked enjoying the morning sun on his skin. Kurt had learnt to love it as well. Nothing was as good as slow morning sex with a view. 

Kurt pulled the curtains open, not knowing what to expect. The curtains moved from the wind outside, meaning the window had been opened as well. He collided with a body. It was Blaine. Blaine had been standing there the entire time and he hadn’t reacted when Kurt called for him. 

“What’re you doing?” Kurt asked, taking a step back to give Blaine some space. Blaine shrugged. When Kurt took a better look, he saw that Blaine was sitting on the window sill, legs dangling against the bricks of the outside wall. 

“Blaine are you crazy?” Kurt asked, he wanted to pull Blaine back, but before he could do anything, Blaine leaned forward. He lost his balance and fell forward. 

“Blaine, Blaine, no, Blaine,” Kurt tried to grab him but it was too late. He couldn’t do anything. He took a step back, he couldn’t watch Blaine falling to his death. He didn’t want to see his head split open when it collided with the street. 

“Kurt,” Kurt felt someone grabbing his shoulders. Kurt opened his eyes and tried to locate where he was. He frantically moved his head to take in his surroundings. He moved too much to see who he was being held down by. 

“Slow and deep breaths, Kurt. It was just a dream?” 

Blaine, that seemed to be Blaine. But how? “Blaine? Is that you? Are you real?” 

“Keep breathing, Kurt,” Blaine said, softly petting Kurt’s arm to trigger some other senses. “But yes, I’m real,” he chuckled softly. 

“I love you,” Kurt blurted out. He was trying to get his breath under control again. He wanted to take Blaine in his arms. He’d had awful dreams before, but never had Blaine been the one dying in them. He’d dreamt endlessly about his mother dying after she had passed. He relived that moment more often than was good for him. Then his dad’s heart attack that had triggered a series of nightmares about his father dying as well. In his Junior year he’d walked around like a ghost for ages because he was so afraid to sleep. As long as he was watching his dad wouldn’t be ripped out of his life, or so he believed. 

Kurt closed his eyes again, to concentrate on his breathing. He felt Blaine’s fingers burn on his arms. It was too much, yet he also didn’t want him to let go. He also got strength from the touch. 

When he opened his eyes, he saw Blaine looking at him with a penetrating gaze. He stared back at him, desperately trying not to kiss the man. 

“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” Blaine touched Kurt’s forehead to check if he had a fever or not. 

“I’m on meds, shouldn’t be sick,” Kurt grumbled. 

“You’re not warm, so this was a fabrication of your imagination. Fever had no hand in it,” Blaine tried to joke, but Kurt didn’t really respond to it. 

“Can you just get into the bed?” Kurt asked. Blaine hesitated, but slipped under the sheets with Kurt. Kurt immediately clung to his side. He rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder, with a hand over his heart. 

“I dreamt that you died,” Kurt confessed. Blaine’s eyes widened in shock. 

“Uhm? How?” He had a pained expression on his face. “Wait, no, don’t tell me.” 

“I’ve had that before,” Kurt said. Blaine looked even more confused now. 

“You know how in my junior year my dad had a heart attack?” Kurt asked, he watched Blaine as he nodded and then waited for Kurt to elaborate. “I dreamt about him dying all the time back then as well. At some point, I just didn’t sleep anymore.” 

Blaine didn’t say anything. They just laid there lost in their own thoughts for a moment. Blaine reached out to Kurt’s hand and covered it with his own. It made Kurt feel safe. This was how it was supposed to be. He and Blaine in a bed. Together. He realised that he had blurted out that he loved Blaine. He hadn’t lied, over the last couple of days, he had come to terms with it. He still loved Blaine Anderson and he was dying for Blaine Anderson to be Blaine Anderson-Hummel again. 

A couch interrupted the silent moment they’d just shared. It was a reminder that Blaine had gotten ill as well. A possible explanation for Kurt’s dream although the way in which Blaine had died didn’t really show that. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt said, he leaned on his elbow to be able to look Blaine in the eye. He had also taken his hand from underneath Blaine’s. 

Blaine rolled onto his side, mirroring Kurt’s position. “You have nothing to be sorry about, Kurt.” 

“I got you sick as well,” Kurt argued. 

“I don’t think my case is as bad as yours,” Blaine told him, Kurt wasn’t sure whether Blaine was downplaying it or if that was the reality. He still felt a bit uneasy himself. He had the remainder of the sore throat and he was still very tired. It was better than it had been though. He would be taking it easy for the next couple of days, trying not to trigger the illness again. 

“I didn’t think it was that bad at first as well,” Kurt said, not fully believing Blaine. 

“Kurt, I’m being honest. You developed a fever hours after the coughing started. I haven’t, you can check for yourself, but I do not have a fever.” 

Kurt placed his hand on Blaine’s forehand and grimaced. Blaine’s forehead wasn’t uncomfortable hot, it seemed to be normal. 

“How’s that even possible? You eat junk food all the time and nothing happens and I make an effort to eat health and could barely breathe at one point,” Kurt was very annoyed. Why was nothing ever fair? He didn’t want Blaine to be sick and he knew it was irrational to get angry about something like this, but he just felt like the entire world was against him. 

Blaine chuckled at Kurt’s words. He gently pushed him against his chest, making Kurt fall flush against the mattress. Blaine climbed on top of Kurt, straddling his hips. 

“Don’t you dare Blaine Anderson,” Kurt warned him, but Blaine’s fingers found his way to his sides before he could even finish. Blaine’s fingers danced over Kurt’s skin in such a manner that it tickled. Kurt was extremely ticklish and started to squirm. Kurt tried to grab Blaine’s hands, but the other man took advantage on him still being slow due to the illness. He took both of Kurt’s hands in his and pinned them against the headboard with one hand. The other he dragged over Kurt’s skin again. 

“S-stop!” Kurt squealed. The situation he found himself in brought Kurt back to the early days of their relationship. They had been careless and deeply in love back then. Too many people had been annoyed with their public display of affection, it was a recurring theme each and every time they met with their friends. 

“No, I’m not stopping until you believe me,” Blaine teased him, digging his fingers into Kurt’s armpit, knowing that specific place was even more sensitive. 

“Blaine no!” Kurt tried to find a way to throw Blaine on the bed, but he wasn’t strong enough to do so. Even if he sat up the tiniest bit, Blaine pushed him back down again. 

“Kurt, yes,” Blaine grinned. He seemed to be enjoying being on top of Kurt way too much. Once again Kurt could feel the sexual tension rising in the air. He had to stop Blaine before things escalated. He couldn't let them get carried away, we all know how well that ended last time.

"Uhm, Blaine," Kurt looked down to his belly, inherently also looking at Blaine's crotch. Blaine chuckled when he saw Kurt's awkward face, but then his eyes followed Kurt's and he immediately got what Kurt was going on about.

"Oh, shit, sorry," Blaine muttered, he moved from Kurt's middle to the end of the bed. Kurt wanted to tell him that it was okay but that he just didn't want a repeat of last time. He wanted to tell him that he only wanted the sexual tension if they were both okay with it. He only wanted to have sex with Blaine if it meant that they were making love. But making love had always been an awkward term in Kurt's eyes. It sounded too much like making a child, something they would never be able to. 

Kurt was red and embarrassed, which he didn't want to be. He didn't want this to be an embarrassing moment, it should be a lovely one shared between to loved ones. "I didn't mean-" Kurt trailed, not sure how to finish. 

"No, I was out of line, I shouldn't have forced myself on you like that," Blaine apologised. 

"I didn't hate it," Kurt looked at his toes instead of at Blaine, "I don't hate you." Kurt's eyes flickered to Blaine's face for a moment, just to see how Blaine reacted to the comment. Kurt couldn't read his face, there seemed to be too many conflicting feelings there. 

Blaine rearranged the position he was in, his knee now touching Kurt's foot. "I don't hate you either," Blaine murmured. Kurt didn't know why, but he sighed. It felt good to know that Blaine didn't hate him, but he didn't know if it meant that Blaine saw a future for them. 

Kurt felt like asking a more daring question, just to test the waters with Blaine now that they had a somewhat honest conversation. "Do you think we'll ever be friends again?" 

Blaine scratched his face. He had some scruff growing and Kurt hated the sound of his nails against the hair. He didn't dare to say anything though as he was quietly awaiting Blaine's answer. "I don't know," he said and Kurt's heart broke a little. It wasn't the answer he had wanted.


	15. Day Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my wifi is still down but I turned my phone into a hotspot for a sec to bring this update to you. Thank you so much for the lovely comments I got on the last-now deleted- update about my wifi being down. I really appreciated it and it made me feel slightly better. I was so proud about writing a chapter for you every single day for 14 days in a row, so I was bummed I couldn't get one up yesterday due to technical difficulties. But here it is, I hope you enjoy it.

Kurt winced at the bright light hitting his face. He didn’t understand where it was coming from. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the curtains opened. He was pretty sure he had closed them the night before. 

“Hey princess, time to awaken,” Blaine joked. 

Kurt groaned, “Blaine, why,” he dragged out the y. 

“It’s noon, I want to make use of the living room,” Blaine told Kurt, moving around the kitchen. 

“But you’re in the kitchen,” Kurt whined in return. Why did Blaine have to wake him up, he’d only just gotten some good sleep. 

“Yes and I’d either pull open the curtains or turn on the lights, so it doesn’t really matter anyway,” Blaine argued at Kurt. Kurt had vowed to take the couch that night. Blaine and he were both ill, so he had no more rights to the bed than Blaine had. Blaine had been sleeping on the couch for the largest part of the week, so Kurt felt it was only fair that he’d take it now. 

“What do you want for breakfast? Pancakes? Eggs?” It sounded from the kitchen. 

“Erg- do I really have to eat already?” Kurt whined, it was as if he had turned into a whiney 7-year-old. 

“Yes, c’mon Kurt, it’s noon. Your sleeping schedule might be a mess, but at least try to work with me here,” Blaine scolded him. “I fancy eggs, so that’s what we’re having.”

“No, Blaine please, you know I hate eggs for breakfast,” Kurt continued.

“You had your pick,” Blaine walked towards Kurt with the spatula in his hand. He looked smug and Kurt felt as if his dad had just put him in his place. Blaine quickly returned to the stove to check on the eggs. 

“Fine, I’ll have the eggs,” Kurt grumbled, pushing the blanket from his legs. He gathered it in his hand and neatly folded it. “I’m quickly gonna freshen up,” Kurt called as he left the living room. Blaine hummed in response. 

After freshening up, Kurt plopped down on the sofa. Blaine was still busy in the kitchen doing God knows what. Kurt thought the eggs would be ready and waiting, but they didn’t seem to be. It didn’t smell burnt, so at least nothing had gone wrong, which was a huge relief to Kurt. It sucked to be stuck inside when it smelled of burnt food. 

“What’re you doing, Blaine,” Kurt asked, getting impatient. He might not have wanted the eggs, he couldn’t deny being hungry.

“Patience,” Blaine told him, Kurt grumbled again. He hated being patient. 

“You wanna watch the next Harry Potter?” Kurt asked, simply to have something to do. 

“Ha, I knew it!” Blaine proclaimed triumphantly. “I knew you’d like it!” 

“I never said I hated it, it just seemed stupid to me. It’s alright though and we have nothing better to do,” Kurt explained, not giving in. He had actually like what he’d seen so far, but sometimes he could be a stubborn little shit. 

Blaine walked in with a plate in each hand. “Voila,” he said as he placed the plate in front of Kurt. Kurt looked at the plate and was pleasantly surprised. It had two toasted slices of whole grain bread on it, covered with a nicely baked egg. Blaine had garnished the plate with some fresh vegetables. 

“Looks good,” Kurt hummed as he took the plate in his lap. Blaine mirrored his doings as he sat down on the couch next to Kurt. 

“Where’s the remote?” Blaine asked, Kurt handed it to him and he pushed to play button. They were soon emerged in the wonderful world of Harry Potter. 

-

When the movie ended, Kurt felt the desperate need to call his dad. Seeing Harry struggling without his own parents reminded him to spend more time with his father, however, he also had needed to call him in order to go over his thoughts. There had never been anyone in Kurt’s life who was as good at sorting out his thoughts as his father had. Burt always knew exactly what to say. 

“I’m gonna call my dad,” Kurt said to Blaine, waving his phone in the air. He excused himself to the bedroom and hoped Blaine wouldn’t be listening in on their conversation.   
Kurt dialled his dad’s number and waited patiently for the call to be answered. 

“Burt Hummel,” Burt muttered into the receiver. 

“Hi dad,” Kurt said softly, a bit hesitantly even. 

“Hi kid, how are you?” Burt asked. 

“I’m good,” Kurt responded although it was a flat out lie. He was doing a lot better, he didn’t have a fever anymore and the breathlessness and cough had faded entirely. He was still sluggish though and his limbs still felt heavier than normal. 

“You sure about that?” Burt said, calling Kurt out on his bullshit. Kurt sighed in response. 

“I know you, Kurt. You call when something’s wrong, so spill,” Burt pointed out. 

“You’re right,” Kurt sighed. “I still love him, dad.”

“Don’t think you ever stopped, son,” Burt replied, not giving Kurt the answer he wanted. 

“It’s just- it’s all so difficult,” Kurt couldn’t really explain how he felt. Hell, Burt didn’t even know he was in Blaine’s apartment right now. Kurt had kept so much from the man he loved most dearly. He hadn’t told him he’d caught the virus either. 

“You just have a lot of time at hands now, Kurt,” Burt said, trying to talk Kurt down. 

“No, you don’t understand.” 

“I don’t understand what?”

“I was dropping off the divorce papers when we went into lockdown. I tried to get back home, but I wasn’t able to,” Kurt explained. 

“You’re telling me you’ve been cramped in your old apartment with you ex-husband all this time?” Burt asked, Kurt winced as he heard his dad refer to Blaine as his ex-husband. 

“Yes?” 

“Kurt,” Burt sighed. “So how’s that been? Clearly not important enough to tell your old man, hm?”

“I don’t know dad, there’s been ups and downs.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I just- I tried to get away on the first day. I just couldn’t stay with him, dad. I felt like I was finally over him. I hadn’t cried in a week and then this had to happen,” Kurt said.

“That’s fate, son,” Burt mused.

“Well, how lovely,” Kurt said sarcastically. 

“What changed though?”

“Uhm- things happened and then he signed the divorce papers,” Kurt trailed. 

“With things you mean sex I presume,” Burt said. 

“Dad,” Kurt hissed. He felt embarrassed to hear his dad say that. It still brought back memories from that awfully embarrassing sex talk Burt had given him at the age of 16.  
“You were married, Kurt. I know you’ve had sex. I honestly would be worried if you and Blaine hadn’t,” Burt said, he laughed a bit, clearly sensing the embarrassment of his son.   
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to name it so clearly,” Kurt said.

“So, yes, sex happened and he signed the papers,” Burt said, asking Kurt to elaborate.

“It hurt so bad, dad. I hadn’t expected that to happen. I slipped out and cowardly hid away for a while the morning after. Or well,” Kurt didn’t want to go into details. “And then when I came back he was just sitting there with the papers signed. I knew I couldn’t stay there, so the next day I was determined to make it back home. I had to walk since there are no cabs around anymore. I got caught, they drove me back to the apartment as the address was cited on the form I was carrying. Then I had to knock on Blaine’s door again. I don’t think I’ve ever done something as humiliating as that. It was bad dad, so bad.” 

Burt hummed empathically, which made Kurt feel slightly better. 

“At first, he didn’t want to let me in. He thought I realised I made the wrong decision and got really angry at me for coming back to him. He even told me I should be stuck in jail. He still let me in in the end. He was furious though. He backed me up against the wall and I was so afraid he was going to hit me. His hands were balled into fists and I’ve never seen rage like that in someone’s eyes.”

“That sounds serious, son,” Burt said, not fully understanding how Kurt was still in the same apartment. 

“Then we just stayed apart for a while, the next morning he wandered in as if nothing had happened. We were civil for a while and then I got sick,” Kurt said hesitantly, he knew his dad wouldn’t like hearing about this.

“You caught the virus?” Burt sounded slightly outraged.

“Uhm, yes, I did. I got tested and I did have it,” Kurt said, glossing over the truth. He didn’t want to tell his dad exactly how bad it was. “I’m better now though, much better. They gave me some medicine and all.”

“Kurt Hummel, you’re going to tell me everything. Don’t keep things like that from me. I know you’ll say my heart won’t be able to handle it, but I can. I can handle it and I want to goddamn know it when my son is not doing well,” Kurt voice had gone from angry to sincere to caring. 

“I’m sorry,” Kurt stammered, “I wanted to call you, dad. So badly, but there wouldn’t have been anything you could do for me. Blaine did though, he cared for me. He dragged my ass to the doctor’s office.”

“That what’s got your knickers in a twist? That boy took care of you and you’re suddenly reminded of your undying love for him?” 

“Dad, please,” Kurt pleaded. He wanted a serious conversation with his father. He needed his advice, no accusations. 

“It’s just a lot that you’re putting on my plate right now, Kurt,” Burt said, “give me a moment.” 

Kurt nodded, but realised Burt wouldn’t be able to see that, so he hummed. 

“So what made you realise you still loved him?” Burt asked considerately.

“It was-uhm a dream,” after a second thought he added, “a nightmare, it was a nightmare.”

“What happened? Did he die?” Burt knew about the dreams that tormented Kurt all too well.

“Yes, I couldn’t find him. He was gone and then I noticed that the curtains were pulled closed and Blaine likes to open them first thing in the morning. So I went there and collided with his body. Upon the impact he lost balance and fell forwards tumbling into the air.”

“What caused the dream? You got any clue?” 

“He got sick as well, not as badly as I was though. I guess it still scared me,” Kurt said timidly, still not revealing the depths of his own illness. 

“Hmm, well,” Burt contemplated, “why didn’t you work out in the first place.” 

They had been over this, but Kurt had never really found an answer to it. Other than the constant fighting there didn’t seem to be a reason. 

“Don’t tell me it was the fighting again,” Burt said, once again calling Kurt out. “Those fights didn’t start out of nowhere, something must’ve happened. I didn’t push last time, thinking the wounds were still too fresh. But if you want this to work, you’ll need to find out, Kurt. You’ll have to be honest with yourself about this.”

“I guess,” Kurt stammered, taken aback by his father’s answer. He could see the truth in it though. “I honestly don’t know though,” Kurt said after a couple of minutes of thinking.   
“I think you do,” Burt said accusingly. “I think I know why you did what you did.”

“Then tell me,” Kurt said desperately. He needed to know the answer to winning Blaine back.

“I can’t, you’ll have to figure it out for yourself. And once you do, you need to have an honest conversation with Blaine. I know that’s hard and that the two of you don’t do well with talking, but that’s the only way, Kurt.”

“So that’s it then? We cannot communicate and therefore we cannot work out?” Kurt said hopefully.

“I think it’s part of the problem, yes. But you need to figure out what you did and how that affected the rest.”

Kurt was still confused, his dad had given him a lot to think about. He needed to figure out what had happened in order for them to start fighting like they did. “Thank you,” Kurt whispered.

“That’s alright, kid. That’s what I seem to be here for. Now, good luck figuring it out,” Kurt didn’t have to wait long for the conversation to end after that. He asked his dad a bit about the situation back home, but Burt quickly hung up on him.

-

“You feeling better?” Blaine asked when Kurt walked back into the living room again.

“Hm?” Kurt asked, not really knowing what to answer that with.

“I know you, Kurt. You talk to your dad when something’s bothering you.” Kurt nodded, Blaine did know him really well and he hadn’t been wrong. 

Kurt sat down on the couch next to Blaine, tucking his leg underneath him. He faced Blaine, who was looking at him expectantly. 

“I still love you,” Kurt said. He looked at Blaine for a response, but other than a pained expression he got nothing.

“I know,” Blaine said after careful contemplation.

“You do?” Kurt was surprised to hear him say that.

“Yes, you told me yesterday.” Kurt cheeks slightly blushed as he recalled the moment he’d blurted it out. He hadn’t meant for it to come out, but after losing Blaine in his dream, he felt the overwhelming need to tell him. 

Kurt looked at Blaine expectantly. He wanted Blaine to return the words so badly, but he didn’t. He only stared off into space, deep in thought.

“D-do you?” Kurt asked softly, “Do you still love me?” 

Blaine’s staring was interrupted and his gaze shifted to Kurt’s face. “I don’t know, Kurt,” he sounded sincere when he said it. Kurt felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the words. He was too late. It seemed as if the unfixable remained exactly that. 

“I feel like I’ve been saying goodbye to you for a long time,” Blaine said, surprising Kurt. Although, after thinking about it, maybe that was true. Kurt had been distant with Blaine in the last months of their relationship. He didn’t dare to admit it though.

“And by a long time, I don’t mean ever since you suggested to get divorced. Even before that it felt like you were pulling away.” Kurt hadn’t thought that Blaine had noticed, but he had. It hurt to know that he’d inflicted pain upon Blaine in that manner.

“Maybe I have been,” Kurt admitted silently.

“Why, Kurt? Why?” Blaine looked at him with desperation in his eyes. Sad puppy eyes stared back at Kurt. He couldn’t explain to Blaine why. He didn’t even exactly know himself, it had just happened. 

“I don’t know,” Kurt whispered.

“Bullshit,” anger laced Blaine’s voice now. “See and that’s why I can’t love you anymore.”

It hurt Kurt to hear that. “Please,” he begged. He was desperate. He wanted to feel Blaine’s warm and comforting arms around him. He didn’t want the angry icy glare he was on the receiving end of.

“As long as you cannot explain to me why you’ve been pulling away, I cannot allow myself to love you. I cannot let myself get hurt like that again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot say when the next chapter will be up as I don't know when my wifi will be back and when I will be running out of data. Hope to see you all soon with a new update :)


	16. Day Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got my wifi back, yay! Also, this chapter is kind of a mess because Kurt(and Blaine for that matter) is kind of a mess, so yea.. This is also a bit of a sad one.

Kurt wanted to rip up the divorce papers. He knew where he’d hidden them, he knew where to find them, but something also kept him from ripping them up. Getting rid of the papers wouldn’t make everything right between him and Blaine. He might still love him, but there was a lot of work to be done if he and Blaine wanted to get back together again. It all seemed so simple, but after his conversation with Blaine, he realised it wasn’t. 

For starters, he would have to be honest. With himself, with Blaine. He needed to find within himself why he’d pushed Blaine away. Pushing people away had always been a way for Kurt to protect himself, but what was he protecting himself from. He had been happily married to Blaine. Their life was mapped out for them and despite not reaching all his dreams, Kurt had nothing to complain about. Maybe he wasn’t the Broadway star he’d dreamt of being, but his other dream had come true. He had found his knight in shining armour. He had found happiness with the man of his dreams. Yet, he seemed to have a lot of difficulties to keep said man. Which wasn’t even the doing of Blaine, it was his. He was to blame, or that’s what it felt like. 

In relationships, there are always two people and when they fight, there is not one to blame. It’s always some sort of game between the two of them, a sick and twisted one at that. But you couldn’t fight on your own, even in your head. If you fought in your head, you’d still have two different voices fighting with each other. 

The realisation that even if he would win back Blaine during this lockdown, they probably wouldn’t be happy, was one that hurt terribly. But Kurt had to be realistic, after his talk with Blaine and realising how much they’d hurt each other. It wouldn’t be realistic to go back to the way they were before their marriage came crumbling down. Too much had happened, although the fights had seemed to be about stupid things. Like whether Blaine cleaned up after himself after showering. Whether Blaine was quiet enough for their neighbours not to be disturbed. Or if Blaine could be quieter so that Kurt could sleep. 

Kurt realised that he had initiated a lot of their fights, which confirmed that he had been distancing himself from Blaine. But Blaine had let him. Blaine hadn’t done anything about it, or not as far as Kurt could remember. 

Thinking about it hurt more than Kurt had hurt after being apart from Blaine. Not being together had given him some sense of being at peace. In reality, he hadn’t had a peaceful moment since he left the apartment. He couldn’t sit still, he had to be moving each and every second and if he didn’t he was so exhausted that he’d fall into a fitful sleep. Kurt had been living those months, but he hadn’t been alive. Not like he was with Blaine next to him. He wondered if it had been the same for Blaine. 

He knew Blaine still loved him. He’d told Kurt he couldn’t allow himself to do so anymore, which had told Kurt all he needed to know. Blaine still loves him. It had sparked hope, despite the dark revelations. 

Kurt had ruined Blaine’s trust and it might be beyond repair, but he hoped it wouldn’t be. Maybe they would have to finalise the divorce. Maybe they could learn to trust each other again, but on their own terms without a marriage tying them together. Above all, he knew that he’d have to talk to Blaine. He would have to listen to Blaine. He couldn’t only listen to himself and to his own heart. If he wanted this to work, he would have to listen to Blaine. He would have to find out what Blaine wants, what he needs. But he didn’t know if he had the courage to do that. He also wasn’t sure if Blaine would want to be that vulnerable with him. 

Kurt let out a sigh, so many revelations, yet no answers. Unless he talked to Blaine he’d have questions and realisations only. On top of all of that lingered the guilt for damaging a relationship to the extent he had. 

He was angry. With Blaine, for letting this happen. With the world for not stopping what had happened to them, but mostly he was angry with himself. He had broken Blaine’s heart and then his own in the process. Instead of keeping himself from getting hurt, he’d inflicted a pain upon himself like he’d never felt before. Not even when his mother died. And he had been pretty hurt back then. 

Just thinking about how badly he’d messed up had him barely breathing. How could he ever forgive himself for letting it get this bad?

Blaine came bustling into the room, Kurt didn't know what he'd find. He didn't know how he looked, he only knew he felt terrible. He didn't understand how Blaine could've let him stay here when seeing him was probably a reminder of how badly Kurt had hurt him. Kurt had struggled at the beginning, not wanting to be near Blaine as he was still trying to get over Blaine. He was still processing the divorce back then, but now it was even worse. He had to live with knowing what he did to Blaine. Blaine might be laughing and smiling at him, but it was all just pretense. 

"Hey, Kurt, what're you doing?" Blaine asked, he seemed to be studying Kurt's face. 

"I was just thinking," Kurt replied, letting his eyes fall on the city skyline. Looking at Blaine would hurt too much. He felt like such a pussy for thinking that, but it was the harsh truth.

"Nothing bad I hope," Blaine smiled softly, but let it fall once he noticed that Kurt wasn't watching him.

"Just thinking about what we talked about yesterday. About how badly I screwed up," he shrugged, still not meeting Blaine's gaze. 

"We both did," Blaine sat down on the bed, carefully as to not touch Kurt. Kurt’s gaze shifted from the dead city to the man he loved so dearly. 

“I don’t want this to end,” he said. They had been dancing around each other for the last couple of days. They’d been happier than they had been in a long while and Kurt wanted to revel in it. To forget about all the bad things. To just start over. He’d do everything to go back to his senior year of college. To meet Blaine again, just with all the wisdom he had now. He would learn to listen to Blaine, to talk to Blaine about what bothered him. Not to just assume things wouldn’t go the way he planned anyway. 

“Kurt,” Blaine sighed, he made a painful face. Kurt didn’t want to watch, certainly not as he knew he’d caused that pain. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt’s eyes were getting wet. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t even deserve to cry, but he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. 

“Hey, none of that,” Blaine said as he scooted closer. He gently rubbed his fingers over Kurt’s shin. Kurt let out a dark chuckle, at least Blaine wasn’t so appalled by him as not to touch him. 

"How do we even go from here," Kurt cried. "I still love you and I know you still love me as well. I've just hurt you so badly that you cannot let your guard down. I don't blame you for that, Blaine," Kurt looked up at his ex-husband, whom he desperately hoped to ever call his husband again. 

Blaine scooched over again, taking Kurt's and in his. "I don't know, Kurt." He traced his finger down Kurt's, "we've both messed up pretty badly, I guess."

Blaine was so calm, which kind of angered Kurt. How couldn't he despise Kurt, how could he even touch Kurt? He knew his touch was devilish. It had hurt before, so how did he know it wouldn't now. 

"I hurt you, Blaine. I did this to us," Kurt said, placing all the blame on himself. He hated himself for ruining the best thing that ever happened to him. 

"You can't say that, Kurt. You can't," Blaine laced their fingers together. Kurt wanted to pull his hand back, he couldn't understand why Blaine was touching him. Why Blaine was trying to comfort him when he'd done the worst thing to Blaine. Apart from cheating on Blaine, that would be even worse. Kurt swore to never ever do that to anyone though. He once had a boyfriend cheat on him and that was the worst feeling in the world. He felt worthless and humiliated once he found out. 

"And why can't I do that? I pulled away from you. You told me you've felt me saying goodbye to you and we promised to never say goodbye to each other," Kurt let out an angry cry. 

Blaine didn't say anything, he just repositioned himself on the bed and pulled Kurt against his chest. Blaine laced his fingers through Kurt's tousled hair, trying to comfort him. He softly blew against the hot skin on Kurt's neck, like mothers did to their babies. Kurt tried to push him away, but Blaine wouldn't let him. "Just let me hold you, Kurt. Just for a little longer," Blaine sounded broken as well. Kurt tried to look up at him, but Blaine refused to show him his face, doing everything in his power to keep Kurt's head pressed against his chest. 

Kurt let himself be comforted, he slowly felt the anger leave his body as the sadness remained. It felt final, it felt like Blaine was saying his final goodbye. He waited until Blaine's arm loosened around him until he pushed away from the strong chest. "Are you saying goodbye to me?" He asked, voice breaking in the middle of the sentence. 

"I don't know, Kurt. I love you, but I've never been hurt so badly for no reason. I know you tried to protect yourself from something, but I just can't fathom from what," Blaine tried to explain, but he was a blubbering mess. 

"Please, I don't want to lose you," Kurt knew the only way to win back Blaine's heart was by gaining back his trust. He just didn't know how.

"I don't know how to say this," Blaine trailed, trying to catch Kurt's eyes, "but I think we should go through with the divorce."

"What?" Kurt stammered, having difficulty processing what Blaine had just said. 

"It wasn't wrong of you to suggest it," Blaine said, he reached out to grab Kurt's hand, but Kurt couldn't let him. 

"How can you say that. Two weeks ago you were still calling yourself an Anderson-Hummel and now this?" Kurt was heartbroken. All the hope he had left was gone. 

"Maybe they were all right, we jumped into this without really knowing what it's about. We've been so childish, Kurt." 

"No," Kurt said forcefully. "No, you don't get to do this."

"You already did this to me, Kurt. You ripped my heart out and minced it when you asked for that divorce. I was finally finding my footing again when you waltzed back into my life. Yes, I missed you terribly, but there was obviously a reason for you to want to end it," Blaine's face was expressionless. He seemed void of any emotion. 

Kurt launched himself forward, punching Blaine in his chest, "no, no, no." Blaine wrapped his hands around Kurt's, which slowly lost their power. 

"I wasn't thinking Blaine, I wasn't," Kurt tried, but still no trace of emotion. Blaine had completely closed himself off. Kurt had no idea what he was thinking or how much of it Blaine really meant. 

"Maybe you weren't, but I am now. We fought constantly, Kurt. That isn't how it's supposed to be. I shouldn't feel like I disappoint my husband at least once a day by doing something stupid," the slightest sliver of embarrassment showed on Blaine's face. 

"You are not a disappointment to me, Blaine," Kurt whispered, surprised to hear the other man say it. He knew Blaine sometimes felt like a bother, but he'd thought he'd made it clear that Blaine would never be a bother to him. He thought he'd loved that away, only now realising that such a thing is impossible. 

"I couldn't do anything right, Kurt. You could always point out exactly what I screwed up. You deserve someone who's better to you," Blaine said it ever so softly and didn't dare to look Kurt in the eye. 

Kurt wanted to wrap his arms around the shell of the man who was once his husband. Blaine had seemed so confident and so self-assured. He didn't know that those insecurities still lingered in him so strongly. He knew that Blaine's dad had always picked on him and that he never felt good enough when he was a kid. He just didn't think he'd ever contributed to Blaine feeling that way. He hated himself for that. Truly hated himself, he'd promised to love Blaine forever and Blaine hadn't felt loved at all. 

"I don't," Kurt said, he didn't know how to redeem himself. "God, I've been so stupid. I always told you I loved you, but I haven't told you how much I appreciate you. How proud I am of you. How proud I am of being yours. How much I value your opinion. I should've celebrated you. I'm so so sorry, Blaine. I've done so wrong by you." 

Kurt hated how he couldn't be honest with Blaine. That he didn't seem to be able to say why he'd pushed him away. After Blaine's revelation, it just felt trivial. It was so stupid. How could he not realise how much he was hurting his husband. He had pushed him away when Blaine had needed a reminder of how much he loved him. Kurt's behaviour had probably only confirmed Blaine's idea that he wasn't good enough for him. And then the fights. Kurt had often picked on something Blaine hadn't done well enough in his eyes. 

Kurt felt sick to his stomach. He jumped out of the bed and ran to the toilet, just in time to empty his stomach.


	17. Day Seventeen

Kurt had taken his position on the couch again, hoping to get through the night. He was in dire need of some sleep, but he doubted it would get to him and if he did, he would probably be taunted by nightmares. His worst nightmare, losing Blaine, seemed to become a reality. It was his own fault for only thinking about himself. It was a remnant of his teens years when he'd have to vent for himself in order to survive. If he wouldn't have thought about himself back then, he wouldn't have made it through high school. 

In college, he had learnt to let others in and that letting your guard down wasn't always something that would lead to bad things. He had learnt to make friends, boyfriends even and that letting them take care of you instead of always taking care of yourself could be very pleasant. He had basically learnt to be vulnerable. But after talking to Blaine he'd realised that he still had problems showing that vulnerability. If he could be facing a negative reaction to him being vulnerable, he'd try to get around it. 

It was exactly what he had done with Blaine, instead of asking for what he wanted or at least talking about it, he had hinted. The hints hadn't gone over well, so he just bottled it up and decided not to be vulnerable about that regard of his life. Rather than something good coming out of it, all had turned into nothing. 

"What's got you all in your mind?" Blaine asked as he walked into the room. He was scarcely clothed, which Kurt found very unfair. He could barely look at Blaine as the pain on Blaine's face flooded his mind every time he did, however, in this state of clothing, it was as if his eyes were glued to Blaine. "Don't you dare drooling," Blaine teased as he saw Kurt's eyes transfixed on him. 

"You give yourself too much credit," Kurt bit back, flinched as he repeated the words in his mind. Yesterday Blaine told him he practically felt worthless and here's Blaine discrediting him. Kurt truly hated himself at that moment. Ï'm sorry," he apologised quickly after. 

Blaine sat down next to Kurt on the couch. Despite their talk, he was quite civil. He didn't seem to be hating Kurt as much as Kurt was hating himself for hurting Blaine. "Kurt, I can handle a joke, you know," Blaine told him, almost offensively. 

"I'm sorry, I- it just reminded me of what you told me yesterday," Kurt tried to explain, although Blaine probably did already. 

"I gathered that much and while I appreciate you trying, I am not some kind of kid that needs protection. I can vent for myself," Blaine told Kurt fiercely. "Now, if you don't mind, let's watch another one of the Harry Potter movies, we're not finished yet."

Kurt didn't want to brush over the conversation, he knew he had a lot of making up to do. Hell, Blaine still deserved an explanation for why Kurt had pushed him away, but he needed an extra bit of time to gather courage. If only he could have a bit more Gryffindor in his, that would make it easier. So instead of being honest with Blaine, he nodded and let Blaine put on the next movie. 

Once again, Kurt lost himself in the wonderful wizarding world. Life seemed to be easier at Hogwarts, despite all the difficulties they'd had to overcome. They always ended up stronger. If only his relationship with Blaine could be at the point, instead of hanging by a thread. 

Kurt still didn't feel like he could talk to Blaine. He felt like his reason for pulling away from Blaine was insignificant compared to what Blaine had told him the day before. He needed some liquid courage. Or liquid luck, Kurt would die for some Felix Felicis. But real life was not like that. The only liquid courage he could ever get was a bottle of vodka, but he'd wasn't keen on drinking. Reluctantly, he stood up, throwing the blanket that he'd draped over his legs to Blaine. 

"Kurt, what're you doing?" Blaine asked as Kurt rummaged through the kitchen cabinets. "Hmm, nothing," Kurt said, he couldn't find what he was looking for. All Blaine had was a can of some sort of disgusting beer that college students liked to drink because it was cheap. Blaine wandered into the kitchen area and pushed Kurt aside. He closed all the cabinet doors Kurt had left opened. 

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked again, he didn't sound as friendly this time around. 

"I feel like having a drink," Kurt explained, pushing Blaine out of his way. 

"What the hell, Kurt? You don't drink?" 

"Where do you keep your booze, Blaine?" Kurt sounded angry, he knew it was out of character for him to drink, but he needed it. He needed the numbing power only alcohol or drugs would provide him with. He knew Blaine didn't do drugs, so alcohol it was. 

"Kurt, what's going on?" Blaine pulled Kurt away from the cabinets again. He placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders, keeping him at an arm's length from his own body. He looked at Kurt, trying to bore through Kurt's skull with his eyes. Kurt didn't want to look up, but he felt one of Blaine's hands leave his shoulder. Soon, it was on his chin, gently lifting his face. 

"I just, I want this to end, Blaine," was all Kurt stammered. Blaine seemed confused. 

"This is getting more confusing with each and every passing second," Blaine muttered, more to himself than anything else.

"I don't care, do you have some whiskey or vodka stored anywhere?" Kurt asked again.

"Kurt, it's barely noon, we're not drinking," Blaine said firmly.

"Oh, but you don't have to drink. I can drink by myself just fine. Now, tell me where it is," Blaine's eyes were as big as saucers when he heard Kurt's tone, which was bordering on aggressive. 

"No, I'm not going to tell you where I would have some of the booze stored if I have any. This is not you, Kurt. I refuse to just sit and watch you destroy yourself," Blaine shook Kurt's shoulders, trying to shake all the negative out of Kurt. 

"Don't fucking tell me what to do," Kurt snapped, pulling out of Blaine's grip. He had a flashback to when Blaine had spewed those words into his face, which made him shudder. He didn't want to become as angry as Blaine had been back then. He wasn't sure whether he'd have the strength not to hit Blaine and he'd already done more than enough damage in that compartment. It might not have been physical, but he'd definitely mentally hit Blaine more than once. 

Blaine forcefully grabbed Kurt's hands in his and dragged him back to the couch. He pushed Kurt down on it and sat on the coffee table to face him. 

"You are going to explain me what the hell is going on here," Blaine hissed. "I am not taking no for an answer," all kindness that was usually on display had left Blaine's face. There was a sliver of concerns there, but mostly some sort of annoyance combined with anger. 

"Did you mean it?" Kurt asked quietly, tears staining his cheeks. His emotions were all over the place, the anger he'd felt before had ebbed away as quickly as it came, sadness taking its place. 

"What part?" Blaine asked him, fixing Kurt with his glare. It was a good thing that Blaine didn't just assume. 

"Do you really want to go through with the divorce?" Kurt looked at Blaine through his lashes to see the other man nodding his head. His face showed the pain, but he didn't refute Kurt.

Kurt's heart shattered, for the second time in 24 hours Blaine told him he didn't want to be with him anymore. "I don't," Kurt cried. "I don't want to divorce you. I love you too much to let you go. I want to work on being better for you. On being better together, please Blaine," Kurt begged, reaching out to lace his fingers with Blaine's. Blaine had turned his head to look outside the window and didn't acknowledge Kurt taking his hand. Kurt could see the tears trickling down his face, he wanted to wipe them away. Or better, kiss them away like a bittersweet memory. 

"Don't," Blaine stood up and pulled away from Kurt, making sure Kurt couldn't touch him. He ran back to the bedroom he'd emerged from a couple of hours prior. 

Kurt hit one of the pillows on the sofa in defeat. If Blaine really wanted to divorce him, there would be no way for them to be together. He needed Blaine to still want him. Oh, how the tables had turned. 

Kurt sat gathering his thoughts for what seemed like hours. He didn't know how to fix this and he still hadn't been honest with Blaine. He didn't know if it would change anything, but he hoped it would. He got up from the couch and moved over to the bedroom door. He hesitantly lifted his fisted hand, not sure if Blaine would even let him in. His hand collided with the wood of the door, softly knocking to hopefully get in contact with Blaine. 

On the other side of the door, Blaine grumbled. Kurt wasn't sure what that meant. "Can I- Can I come in?" Kurt asked, hand on the door handle, waiting for the okay. 

"Whatever," Blaine said as Kurt pushed the door open. Blaine still had tear tracks on his face and he'd piled himself on the floor with the blankets covering his body. Kurt sat down on the bed, with Blaine at his feet. He looked at Blaine through the mirror that was standing opposite him. 

"I-I just- I want a family, Blaine," Kurt stammered, finally letting out what he was afraid to say all the time. Blaine looked up at him, question written all over his face. Kurt slowly reached out to put a hand on Blaine's blanket-covered shoulder, then added in a hoarse whisper, "with you."

Kurt watched Blaine's face, it was as if all the puzzle pieces fell into place, "that why you distanced yourself from me?" Kurt nodded reluctantly. 

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Blaine asked. He didn't seem to be repulsed like Kurt had expected him to be.

Kurt shrugged, "I don't know." 

Blaine unwrapped himself from the blanket pile and sat down on the bed next to Kurt. He kept his distance from Kurt, making sure they didn't touch. "You're telling me there's no reason? That's so fucking stupid." 

"I don't think there's ever no reason," Kurt said quietly, eyeing his toes which were playing with the rug on the bedroom floor. Blaine nudged his shoulder, getting Kurt to look up at him. 

"Then tell me why," he looked Kurt dead in the eye. Kurt flinched away, too embarrassed. He thought the embarrassment would ebb away once the high and mighty word was out, but that turned out to be just an illusion. 

"I've always dreamt of having a family. It was my biggest dream, even bigger than getting to Broadway," Kurt said honestly. 

"That's pretty big, why didn't you ever tell me?" Blaine was trying his hardest to suck every single word out of Kurt. 

"I don't know, it's just hard to open myself up like that. And whenever I mentioned wanting to have kids, I've always gotten bad reactions," Kurt still wasn't looking at Blaine. He moved his fingers over his leg in a soothing matter. Once again he was the one comforting himself, something he knew all too well. 

"Fuck them," Blaine growled. "But you know I'm not them, Kurt." 

"I know, you're different. It's just that I imagined to have it all. I could let go of Broadway if it meant marriage, a house with a garden, a dog and eventually a child. We can't even afford a house with a garden." 

Blaine frowned, "what's that supposed to mean? Is this another dig at me?" 

"No, no, no. God no," Kurt said, finally turning to Blaine. "Oh God, when will I stop doing that." 

"Doesn't matter much, now does it?" Blaine commented offhandedly. 

"I still don't want us to split up," Kurt said, answering Blaine. He didn't leave any time for Blaine to make another comment. "I dropped a couple of hints and you didn't seem enthusiastic about it. Remember that time we went to Macy's and I looked at the baby outfits," Kurt said, trying to get Blaine to remember. 

"I was tired that day, we weren't there to buy baby clothes. I just wanted to get home," Blaine sighed. "It didn't mean I don't want children, Kurt." 

"You do? You do want kids?" Kurt was surprised to hear that Blaine didn't deject it entirely. 

"I never really dared to think about it," Blaine said, still not confirming anything. 

"Why's that?" Kurt now the one to ask questions. 

"I just - my dad," Blaine trailed. 

"Just because your dad was a dick and a bad father doesn't mean you will too, Blaine," Kurt said earnestly. He reached in between their bodies, hoping to take Blaine's hand in his. Blaine didn't advance in Kurt's direction, Kurt's eyes flickered from his hand to Blaine and then bridged the difference. He softly rubbed his thumb over the top of Blaine's hand. Blaine leaned into the touch, slowly getting closer to Kurt. 

"I just - I don't know, Kurt," Blaine said. Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's shoulder to pull him against his chest. 

"You are not your father, Blaine. You're kind, sweet, selfless, loving, gentle, soft, brave, clever, friendly, funny, generous, hard-working and so much more," Kurt whispered into his hair. 

"I've just always been afraid that I would be to my kid what he was to me and I don't want that. Plus, it's not that easy to get kids as a gay man," Blaine further explained. 

"I think that was part of my apprehension as well," Kurt admitted. 

"You should've just told me, Kurt," Blaine said again. 

"I know, looking back on it I just feel so stupid. It's just that every time I dropped a hint you'd react negatively, so I felt like that was a definite no. I just wanted it so desperately, but I didn't know how to say it. I didn't want to kill that dream. I couldn't let go of it. I wanted so desperately to just love you, but it kept on nagging me," Kurt tried to explain, but he honestly didn't know whether he made sense. He didn't know how to properly explain the strong feelings he felt when it came to this topic. 

Blaine nodded, seemingly understanding Kurt. 

"What does this mean for us?" Kurt asked 

"I'm glad that you were honest with me, but I don't know. I need to think about this all, I'm sorry," Blaine said, he removed himself from Kurt's grip on him, slipping down on the floor again. 

"I still want all of that, with you," Kurt said, emphasising the latter part.


	18. Day Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a lot of sad, I think things are finally looking up :)

Kurt felt a hot something pressed against his back when he woke up the following morning. He was confused, Blaine had practically rejected him the day before and now he seemed to be right there. He turned slightly to check whether Blaine was really the pressed warmth he was feeling. It was. This only added to the mixed signals Blaine was already giving him. He hadn't shot down Kurt's desire to have a family with him. Yet he also hadn't disproved the divorce either. 

Kurt wanted to revel in being close to Blaine, but he also knew he had to be careful. If he let himself get used to being with Blaine, he would be setting himself up for heartbreak. He needed to be careful until Blaine gave him clarity. 

He just didn't really know what was going on. He also didn't know what to do? Should he get out of bed? Should he roll away from Blaine, who had tightly wrapped an arm around his waist? Should he just stay and enjoy it while it lasts? He really had no clue. He hoped Blaine would awaken quite soon as well, just to get out of the awkward situation. 

Blaine purred in Kurt's ear. "Morning," he croaked, voice still full of sleep. "You feeling better?" He asked softly. 

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt gently pushed Blaine against his chest to get himself out of Blaine's grasp. He hoped he could convey the confusion that filled him to the brim in that motion. Blaine rolled onto his back and looked a bit pained as he did so. 

"I asked you a question first," Blaine retorted. He scooted away from Kurt and leaned on his elbow to watch Kurt. 

"Well, I don't know, Blaine. How am I supposed to feel?" Kurt was annoyed with Blaine's question, he felt like he was being made fun of. 

"Are you angry with me?" Blaine asked. Kurt hissed like an angry cat, not believing his ears. 

"Why shouldn't I be angry with you, Blaine?" Kurt said angrily, he got out of the bed. He just wasn't able to do this. Blaine didn't 

"I didn't mean anything by that?" Blaine said clearly confused. "I just wanted to know how you felt."

"Oh, sure you do," Kurt said cuttingly. 

Blaine said up and watched Kurt put on a pair of jogging bottoms as well as a random shirt he found on the floor. "Kurt, why are you so hostile?" Confusion painted all over his face. 

"Oh, I don't know. Let me think about it for a second," Kurt's eyes were spitting fire by now. "It certainly isn't because you basically told me to go fuck myself yesterday and then sneaked into the bed later on." 

Blaine's face fell, but Kurt didn't mind. He wasn't going to play nice now. He had to protect his own heart best he could. He knew opening up to Blaine about his dreams would be a bad idea. He hadn't thought Blaine would magically fall back into his arms. Yet, he also hadn't expected Blaine to act the way he did. 

Kurt stomped out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He sat down on the couch with his phone in his hand, he wanted to call someone. He needed to clear his head, but he didn't know how. He found it quite pathetic that he always needed someone else to picked his mind for him. He was a grown man, he should be able to do so himself. 

In the middle of his thought process, his phone rang. He jumped in his seat and almost dropped his phone. "Kurt Hummel, hello," he said, willing the kindness into his voice, the person on the other side of the line didn't deserve to get flooded with his anger. 

"Hi sweetheart, this is Mrs Smith again. How are you doing, dear?" The kind voice of Mrs Smith rang, Kurt immediately felt the anger still left in him flow out. 

"Oh, hi, Mrs Smith. How have you been holding on?" Kurt asked, dejecting the previous question. He wasn't going to air his dirty laundry right now. He was also afraid Mrs Smith wouldn't like him anymore after hearing what had gone down. 

"I'm alright, thank you. You didn't answer my question though. How are you and your possible ex-husband doing? No secrets," Kurt saw how it was. Mrs Smith called him for the drama, well then she could get it. She was a divorcee after all, so maybe she had some tips for him. 

"Are you waiting to hear whether my life has turned into a soap opera?" Kurt asked, trying to sound mischievous. 

"I certainly am, now spill," Mrs Smith said. Kurt could only imagine the look on her face while she leaned back in her setee. 

"You are no good!" Kurt chuckled, "I, on the other hand, am doing much better. I had a pretty rough set back the day after you called last. Blaine took me to the doctor's office and I got tested for the virus." 

"Oh dear," Mrs Smith commented. 

"I did have the virus, but I got medication and felt miles better a few days after," Kurt explained. 

"And that husband of yours, how is he?" 

"He contracted the virus as well. It was kind of inevitable after we spent so much time together."

"Indeed, but you know that's not what I was after. Is everything still rainbows and sunshine?" 

"Oh God, no. Quite the opposite," Kurt sighed. 

"How so?" Mrs Smith was making sure to get to the bottom of the situation. 

"I thought about the last question you asked in our last conversation and realised that I do still love him. I had a terrible nightmare in which I lost him and he then died in front of my eyes, which shook me to my core. It made me realise that I had made a huge mistake when I suggested he and I divorce. In my post-nightmare haze I told him I still loved him and he didn't really react to that. So, I told him again the day after that."

"What'd he say?" 

"He told me about how much my attitude had hurt him. I kind of pulled away from him, which is where our fights came from I guess. Like I would always nitpick whatever he was doing. It made him feel inferior to me, which is probably the worst thing someone has ever told me," Kurt felt the tear well up in his eyes again now that he was talking about it. He had to swallow down the lump in his throat. 

"I'm sorry, love," Mrs Smith tried to soothe Kurt. 

"I just never realised he felt like that and I only pushed him away because I wanted to start a family with him and he didn't seem interested. It's so stupid. I've always dreamt of a house with a garden and a family. The former we probably won't ever be able to afford and then the second seemed to be crumbling in front of my eyes as well," Kurt explained. 

Mrs Smith kept silent on the other side on the line, making Kurt speak up again. "It's just- it was so hard for me to talk about that. But in hindsight it's dumb I never said anything before. I only ever dropped hints. Seemingly at the wrong time each time. Plus he has some daddy issues, which made him terrified of being a father. He's nothing like his father, who is very cold. Business over family. Status over anything basically. Blaine is very soft and kind."

"I married such a man, worst thing I've ever done," Mrs Smith implemented. "But everything is on the table now?" 

Kurt nodded, then realised that Mrs Smith wouldn't be able to notice that. "Yes, I think it is. For my part it is. There is no clarity though."

"Why's that?" The lady asked. 

"Blaine wants to go through with the divorce. At the beginning of my stay here, he referred to himself as Blaine Anderson-Hummel. He kept calling himself my husband, things like that."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," Mrs Smith commented. "But maybe it's for the better."

Kurt wanted to protest when he heard her say that but then decided to let her finish what she was about to say.

"You both need to find a way to be happy by yourself. You need to value who you are as a person without the other. It's beautiful to grow together, but sometimes you first have to grow alone. It's like flowers. They grow alone, then come together to form a beautiful bouquet."

Kurt understood what she was saying, maybe there was some truth to it. It hurt terribly to let Blaine go, but maybe they could find their way back to each other. 

"Thank you," Kurt whispered into the receiver, hoping Mrs Smith could hear it on the other side. 

"No problem, honey. Hang in there. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, I'm always up for a chat!"

"Sure, Mrs Smith. I promise you a cup of coffee or tea when all this blows over," Kurt added. 

"Now go talk to that man of yours," Mrs Smith said, then added a goodbye and hang up. 

Kurt examined the room, not knowing what to do other than talking to Blaine about the entire situation once again. As Kurt scanned the room, his eyes fell on Blaine, who was leaning against the doorpost. 

"So, I can't ask you if you're feeling alright, but you can tell your life story to some stranger?" Blaine asked him, eyebrow cocked and voice filled with judgement. 

"Sometimes it's easier to be vulnerable with people you don't know that well," Kurt said, tracing the lines on the rug with his toe. 

"I was just asking about your well being, what's so fucking difficult about that?" Blaine boomed back. 

"Blaine, I told you. You rejected me yesterday and then all of a sudden I find you in bed with me the following morning. I can't just let you do that," Kurt said, he tried to sound fierce.

"I literally only wanted to know if you still had a headache or if the stomachache had played up again. I wanted to see if you still had symptoms," Blaine explained. Kurt's features softened at that a bit. He hadn't even though about that. 

"I actually don't, you?" Kurt looked at Blaine, hoping he would answer the question.

"Not really, still have a bit of a stuffy nose, that's it." 

"I'm glad."

Blaine left the position he'd taken up against the doorpost and sat down in the suede armchair. "Kurt, we need to seriously talk about everything." 

"We do, I was talking to Mrs Smith on the phone and maybe you're right. Maybe we need to go through with the divorce and grow on our own before we can grow together," Kurt told him.

"I- I think we should go through with the divorce, but that doesn't mean that this is over between us," Blaine said, raising another wave of question in Kurt. 

"What do you mean? Why would we divorce if we stay together?" Kurt asked. 

"I think we did it all wrong, but I don't believe I can ever say goodbye to you," Blaine said, still not really taking away any of the confusion. "I need to work on myself and I would like to do couples counceling as well." 

There was that figural lightbulb shining brightly. Kurt suddenly understood what Blaine meant, but he didn't know why they would have to divorce for that. "Why the divorce then? I don't think we have to do that? I would prefer for us to keep on living separately until we decide that we've mended our relationship enough for us both to be comfortable with that." 

"I can't explain it, but it just feels right to me," Blaine said. 

"Is it because I kept my own name and you hyphenated yours?" Kurt asked softly. When they got married, Blaine hadn't seen it as a problem, but with Blaine feeling inferior, he could see it could be problematic now. 

"No, no, absolutely not. That's your choice and I respect that," Blaine said. 

"What if we renewed our vows and I hyphenated my name as well, would that be better?" Kurt had found a new sense of hope. They were talking about this like real adults did. 

"You don't have to change your name for me, Kurt."

"I do," Kurt stated, "I do because I want to. I want to be Kurt Anderson-Hummel, just like you are Blaine Anderson-Hummel. We are equals Blaine and I know you don't always feel like that, but we are."

Tears were slowly trickling down Blaine's cheek. Kurt wanted to wrap him up in his arms, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed to. "Can I hug you?" Kurt asked, trying to show respect for Blaine. Blaine nodded and let Kurt take him in his arms. He nuzzled his face into Kurt's t-shirt clad chest. 

"So what do you say?" Kurt asked softly into Blaine's hair. 

"I think I like what you just proposed. We need to work on ourselves as well as work on our relationship and maybe that's the best way."

"I love you," Kurt said as he pressed a wet kiss onto Blaine's forehead. 

"I love you too," Blaine said as he looked up at Kurt. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth. Kurt smiled softly, as a happier feeling flooded his chest. They weren't there yet and intimacy was off the table, but they were doing a whole lot better. They had been honest with each other and they had found a mature solution. They would just have to make it through the coming days of lockdown together.


	19. Day Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this chapter, I hope you enjoy it too!

"How much longer is this going to take," Kurt sighed. He was done, he needed to get out of Blaine's hair and just get some rest by himself. He had learnt the hard way that spending 24/7 with Blaine was not good for a relationship, much less an already crumbling one. 

"I don't know, but I'm dying to go outside as well," Blaine replied, he took a deep breath. Then fixed his eyes on the television again. They were finally on the last movie of the Harry Potter movies. Kurt had thoroughly enjoyed them, it was one of the better things Blaine had introduced him to. 

"No offence, but I'd kill to get some alone time again," Kurt muttered. 

"None taken," Blaine laughed. "I kind of miss being on my own as well. Sometimes I wonder how we ever lived together," Blaine said, pausing the film in favour of talking. 

"Noo! I was just into it," Kurt complained, "put it back on!"

"Kurt, you literally were the one who started babbling," Blaine reminded him. 

"I might have, but I didn't want you to pause the movie," Kurt battled Blaine for the remote control to unpause the movie. 

"No, this is mine!" Blaine screamed back, pushing Kurt off of him. He raised the remote control above his head. Kurt laughed evilly, standing up from the couch and prying the remote control out of Blaine's hand. 

"It's mine now, ha," he said as he pushed play again. He slumped down on the sofa again to lose himself in the wonderful wizarding world for the last time. 

"But Kurt, maybe we should watch the press conference. That's why I paused it actually," Blaine said. 

"Why would we do that?" Kurt whined. "We can just read up on what happened and how much longer we'll be stuck inside."

"I know, but I'd like to know now. So, if you don't mind," Blaine said, watching Kurt's face closely for a reaction.

"Okay, fine," Kurt sighed. He didn't want to push Blaine's buttons today. It was exhausting to fight and giving into watching the press conference wouldn't hurt him. 

He watched as their president and some medical experts walked on. The president explained that things seemed to be slightly better than when the country had gone on lockdown. The lockdown was effective, however, that didn't mean that this was the end of the lockdown. They still didn't know what would mark the end of the lockdown. They would have to take it week by week. The president promised to be back with another update the following week. 

Kurt let out another sigh, still no clarity. He knew that he would be able to predict what would happen with the virus as well as the next person, but it was tiring to live in constant uncertainty. He felt somewhat frustrated with the entire situation as well. He had hoped he would be back at his own apartment sooner rather than later. 

"Well, at least this all isn't in vain," Blaine offered. 

"Hmm," Kurt grumbled. This wasn't what he hoped to get out of the press conference. They had given him little hope and a lot of bleak facts. "I just hoped for something and we got absolutely nothing."

"Shall we just go back to Harry Potter?" Blaine asked, trying to lift the mood. Although the mood wasn't much better in his beloved wizarding world either at the halted point in the film. 

"Please," Kurt said, waiting for Blaine to switch the channels, only to realise he still had the remote control next to him. Kurt was ready to immerse himself in another world. A world where the tragedy of his own could be forgotten. 

With each passing minute, Blaine seemed to get closer to Kurt. Soon, they were pressed shoulder to shoulder. Blaine placed his arm on the back of the couch and scooted a little closer. Kurt had his feet resting on the coffee table. He felt Blaine's body burning against his. He didn't move away from the touch, but he also didn't lean into it. They would have to talk about it. Blaine had always been a touchy-feely person, so it came naturally to him to touch Kurt. Kurt had always appreciated that as he was reluctant to initiate such things himself. After being with Blaine for a while, he could return the gestures, but it still didn't come as naturally to him as it did to Blaine. Kurt had envied the ease Blaine had regarding touching people for quite a bit. In the end, he realised that he just loved differently. Touch wasn't his love language like it was Blaine's. 

By the end of the film, Blaine was all over Kurt. One leg pressed flush against Kurt's thigh, the other hooked over his knees. His face was buried in Kurt's chest, in such a way that he could still watch the screen, of course. He was the one who had suggested to watch the series, so he would see every single minute of it as well. 

Kurt was hot with all the body heat radiating from Blaine. He was also slightly uncomfortable with the close proximity they were in. The day before Blaine had suggested they'd get divorced for Christ's sake. "Uhm, Blaine?" Kurt trailed uncertainly. 

Blaine removed his head from Kurt's chest to look him in the eye, "yes? Something wrong?" 

"Don't know, but maybe we shouldn't be like this," Kurt said reluctantly. The day before had been a win for him and he hoped his comment wouldn't be a setback for them. 

"Oh, yes, sure. I'm so sorry," Blaine said, cheeks turning scarlet. Kurt softly smiled at him to show that he didn't really hate it. 

"I just don't want to get used to this only for it to be taken away again," Kurt mused. He knew it'd hurt not to see Blaine every day although he longed for alone time. 

"I totally understand," Blaine said as he moved to the other side of the sofa. "I didn't mean to, I just got carried away." 

"I'm not accusing you of anything," Kurt tried to appease Blaine. 

"I know, I know. You're right, we shouldn't be doing this I guess. It's just weird because it happens before I realise it," Blaine tried to explain. 

"It's like our bodies didn't get the memo that we're not doing this anymore," Kurt said, gesturing between Blaine and himself. 

"Exactly," Blaine agreed. He stared out of the window, entirely lost in thought. Sometimes Kurt wondered what went on in his mind. He'd always thought that Blaine was a very interesting individual who was so different from him. But over the years, he'd gotten insights in Blaine's thinking patterns. Still, he didn't always know what Blaine was thinking. If only he had, then things wouldn't have been as bad between them as they were now. 

"So, I was thinking, maybe we should draw up some kind of list of what we should and shouldn't do?" Kurt asked, he hesitated as it sounded a bit dump and childish to him. It reminded him of when he wouldn't allow Blaine to go South of the Equator. He wanted them to have a solid relationship before getting lost in each other. It was also to test if Blaine would respect him or not. Let's just say Blaine passed with flying colours. 

"You mean like they do in those movies?" Blaine's eyes had a little sparkle to them. 

Kurt could see the fun of the situation as well and if fake dating movies had taught him anything, it was that exactly that landed you your dream man. It was also a bit of a challenge and Kurt Hummel never backed away from one. "Maybe we should," Kurt smiled at Blaine mischievously. Maybe this would be even more fun than he had anticipated. 

"Okay, get me some paper!"

"Do you have any hiding anywhere? We used all the other up for those cards, remember?" Kurt asked, slightly cursing himself for not keeping a few spare ones behind.

"Bet I can find one in my workbag, wait a sec," Blaine said as he jumped up from the couch. Instead of rummaging through the bag and bringing back paper, he brought the bag to Kurt. 

"I told you to get the paper," he winked at Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes and opened the bag. He then looked Blaine in the eyes seductively, they were playing a game after all. He saw that his bedroom eyes got a blush out of Blaine and he also shifted his position to cover a possible up and coming boner. Kurt let out a laugh and moved his eyes to the insides of the bag. He combed through the papers in the bag and found a spare one. 

"You got a pen?" Kurt asked, flagging the sheet of paper in the air. Blaine took the bag from him and fished a pen out of one of the hidden pockets. 

"Give me the paper," Blaine beckoned. Kurt shook his head, "no, it was my idea. I should obviously get to write."

"We all know my handwriting is better," Blaine challenged him. "That sounds ridiculous, now hand me the pen!"

"Or else?" Blaine was now the one with mischief in his eyes. Kurt sighed, "fine, you write." 

Blaine fist-bumped the air, "yes!" Kurt rolled his eyes once again at the dork sitting beside him. 

"So, rule one?" Blaine asked. 

"Why do I have to come up with the first one? You wanted to write," Kurt told Blaine, which made Blaine roll his eyes. 

"Fine, rule number one: we stay married," Kurt said. Blaine nodded and wrote the line down. It felt good to see the words on paper. It had some finality to it, which brought Kurt peace. He didn't have to be afraid of Blaine not wanting him anymore. 

"Rule number two, you," Blaine pointed at Kurt, "become a Hummel-Anderson." Blaine beamed at Kurt, which Kurt quickly returned. "Yes, I will be Kurt Hummel-Anderson." 

"So now rule number three," Blaine waited for Kurt to say the words. 

"No sex until marriage, that's rule number three," Kurt said. He felt a blush creeping up his cheeks as Blaine waggled his eyebrows at him. "Don't think that's very realistic, now is it?" Kurt softly pushed Blaine against his chest, "you know what I mean. We obviously broke that 'rule' first time around," Kurt made quotes in the air when he said rule.

"We sure did," Blaine grinned. 

"Rule number four, before we get backtracked," Kurt said, getting them back on track again. 

"Uhm, yes," Blaine said, putting the back end of the pen in his mouth as he thought. "Ah!" Blaine said, having a eureka moment. "Fourth rule: we go to couples therapy." 

"Oh, so you're leaving all the hard ones for me, that's not fair!" Kurt said. "Rule number five, no kissing." 

"That's where your mind goes, hon," Blaine teased him. "I'm not saying anything." 

"What's rule number six going to be?" Kurt teased right back, knowing that Blaine would have to cut out something regarding personal space.

Blaine surprised Kurt when he didn't say such a thing. "Rule number six, we each live in our own apartment," Blaine looked at Kurt with triumphant written all over him. 

"Damn it, now I have to cut out cuddles," Kurt said. 

"Oh, do you?" Blaine asked, he sounded playful, but the look on his face told differently. 

"Yes, Blaine. I know you like your cuddles, but I think it's for the better if we don't." Blaine pouted, but soon gave in and agreed. "So, rule number seven, we don't cuddle." 

Blaine nodded and went on to rule number eight, "rule eight, we sleep separately for the remainder of your stay here." 

"Do we need more?" Kurt asked. 

"Depends," Blaine said, cocking an eyebrow. "Can I still touch you or does that have to be cut out too?" 

"Friends touch each other?" Kurt said, seemingly lost in thought. 

"Again, depends on how you define touch each other," Blaine said jokingly. 

"You didn't," Kurt dared. "Oh, but I did," Blaine smirked back. Blaine capped the pen to show that they were done. 

"And now," Blaine stood up from the sofa with the list in his hand. He held out his hand for Kurt, which Kurt grabbed. Holding hands wasn't on the list! Blaine acted as if the list was guiding him as he walked to the fridge. He took a magnet and hung the list on the fridge. "There we go." 

"We forgot the essential part, Blaine," Kurt said, looking at the list. "And that is?" Blaine frowned. 

"Signing it, of course!" Kurt looked for a spare pen on the kitchen table. 

"I, Blaine Anderson-Hummel, promise to honour the list above," Kurt readout as he wrote it down. He handed the pen to Blaine, "now sign it." Blaine obliged and chuckled as wrote down his name in a curly cursive.

"Do we really have to do all the things they do in the movies?" Kurt asked, knowing fully well he was planning on doing the same thing. Blaine gave him an affirmative nod and handed the pen back to Kurt.

"No, you got to write it down for me," Kurt said, refusing to take the pen from Blaine. 

"I, Kurt (soon to be Anderson-Hummel)Hummel, promise to honour the list written out above," Blaine blew against the tip of the pen and handed it to Kurt. Kurt wrote down his name in a loopy swirl. 

"I kinda wish we had some golden stars," Kurt joked. Blaine laughed at him. Things seemed to be better.


	20. Day Twenty

After drawing up some sort of contract, Kurt felt marginally better. He wasn't the biggest fan of restricting them in their touches, but it would be for the greater good if they did. It was nice to have some clarity in some part of his life. He and Blaine would be alright in the end, or so he desperately hoped. The way they had acted the day before has definitely given him faith for their future together.

They had taken a step back in their relationship to be able to step a step forward in the future. Kurt was glad they could still have fun. He'd had more fun the day before than he'd had in a long time. He finally felt like he was living again instead of being lived. 

"Hi, morning," Kurt said as Blaine walked in the room. Blaine smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Kurt was by the stove, making some scrambled eggs they could have for breakfast. 

"Morning," Blaine yawned. "Did you sleep well?" Kurt asked him, looking at him over his shoulder. Blaine shrugged and walked over to Kurt to drape himself over the other man. 

"Blaine," Kurt reprimanded him. Blaine hummed, but didn't peel himself from Kurt. 

"Do I need to remind you of rule number seven?" Kurt asked, keeping his tone light to show Blaine that he didn't really mind. 

"Kuuurt," Blaine whined, but he let go of Kurt. Instead, he dropped himself down on one of the kitchen table chairs. "Is it almost ready?" 

"Yes, just a moment," Kurt said, stirring the egg in the pan. He had gotten another pan out and buttered up in which he was toasting some bread. He flipped the toast and turned the pit under the egg off. He took two plates out of the cabinet to start plating up.

"And here you go," Kurt told Blaine when he set the plate down in front of him. He placed his own plate next to Blaine's and slid into the chair next to him. 

"Thank you," Blaine smiled at Kurt. It was like old times when they were still happily in love, just a bit less touchy-feely. Kurt beamed back at Blaine to show his appreciation. 

"Did you sleep well?" Kurt asked, watching Blaine munch on his breakfast in the corner of his eyes. "Hmmm," Blaine moaned around his fork. Kurt wasn't sure whether Blaine was showing his appreciation for the food or if it was an answer to his question. 

Blaine finished eating, "yes, I actually slept fairly well. I think it's the best I've slept since not having you next to me anymore." 

"Is that why you crept into bed with me a couple of days ago?" Kurt asked, he'd let it slip so far, not bringing it up in conversation. That didn't mean it hadn't been on his mind. 

A blush rose on Blaine's cheeks, "I guess, I-uhm-I was just missing you?" 

Kurt poked him in the side, "oh sure you were. Were you hoping on a repeat of what happened two weeks prior?" Kurt wiggled his eyebrows at Blaine as well, making the man turn an even deeper shade of crimson. 

"You did," Kurt said proudly, getting excited about riling Blaine up. He poked Blaine in the chest again with a big grin on his face. 

"But you started it," Blaine retorted. Which, Kurt had to give it to him, was true. He was the first to get back into bed with Blaine. He hadn't meant for it to escalate like it did in the morning, but he also didn't feel sorry for what happened. At least, not anymore. At the time he did. Or, it wasn't really the act of passion itself, it was how he acted afterwards. 

"Don't remind me," Kurt groaned, shoveling another mouthful of egg into his mouth. Blaine swallowed his bite down and looked at Kurt daringly. 

"Are you saying you regret getting some action after a couple of months?" 

Kurt debated how to react to it. Blaine just presumed he hadn't fooled around in the time they had been split up, which he actually hadn't. But he also felt like it might sound a little pathetic, especially since he was unsure about whether Blaine had done anything with anybody else. Before he knew it, it still came out, "who says I haven't had any action?" 

Blaine had been smiling cheekily at Kurt the entire time, but the moment the words left Kurt's mouth, his face fell. The reaction made Kurt hate himself just that little bit more. Blaine pushed the little bit of egg he had left from one side of the plate to the other with his knife, letting a silence fall over the room for a bit. The only sound detectable that of cutlery against china. His knife clattered on the plate, scaring Kurt a bit. "Oops, sorry," Blaine said, taking the knife from the plate and neatly placing it next to the dish. He looked back up at Kurt, "were you? Were you with anyone?" 

The question made Kurt shudder. Just the thought of being with someone who wasn't Blaine made him feel sick to his stomach. "No," Kurt said resolutely, "no, I wasn't with someone. God, I didn't even think about that. I could barely drag myself into work." 

"Good," Blaine said, carefully lifting the corners of his mouth into a smile again, "I wasn't either. I tried, everyone kept saying I needed to forget you. And apparently, the easiest way to forget someone is to sleep with someone else. But I couldn't. They weren't you, Kurt." Honesty and pain shone from Blaine's eyes, stabbing Kurt in the chest once again. He had really messed up. 

"Oh," Kurt said, processing what he'd just heard. "Did you kiss anyone?" He didn't know why he'd asked, he wasn't interested in the answer. If Blaine would say yes, it wouldn't do him any good and he feared Blaine would. 

Blaine pushed the plate that was still standing in front of him away. "I-uhm-" he trailed. 

"Just say it, Blaine. I deserve it," Kurt said. He deserved the stab in the chest that would undeniably come. 

"I did," Blaine said, he was looking at Kurt with guilt-filled eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," he said immediately after. 

Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder, trying to get his attention. "Blaine," Blaine looked up at Kurt once he said his name, "I may not like hearing you say that, but I have no right to be angry about that." 

Blaine nodded, but Kurt could tell that he was still beating himself up over it. "Look at me," Kurt lifted Blaine's chin in such a way that he had no choice but to look Kurt straight in the eyes. "It hurts to hear you say that, but we were broken up. You didn't cheat on me. I brought this upon myself. I don't blame you for anything. This will not be something that'll get between us. Thank you for telling me. Thank you for being honest with me. It's more than I deserve." Kurt just hoped that he got through to Blaine. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Blaine said, blinking heavily. 

"Hey, no tears," Kurt wiped an astray tear from Blaine's cheekbone, another couple ready to fall down his lashes. 

"I just-" Kurt wished they'd never made that stupid list. He just wanted to kiss Blaine to get him to shut up. To show him that everything's alright and that they'll be fine. 

"I wish I could kiss you," Kurt told Blaine honestly. Blaine wiped another couple of fallen tears from under his eyes. 

"I wish you could too," Blaine whispered, voice hoarse due to the tears. 

Kurt pushed the chair Blaine was sitting on away from the table and enveloped him in a hug. Cuddles weren't allowed, but a hug should be fine. Friends hugged. Friends comforted one another and that's what they were right now. They were friends, friends who were married, but still friends. 

"Thank you," Blaine breathed, nuzzling into Kurt's chest. "It's okay," Kurt said, placing his hands on both sides of Blaine's face. He scanned his face to see if the message had come across, which it seemed to have. Kurt leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Blaine's wet cheek. He receive a small and watery smile in return. 

"Did you just break our code on me?" Blaine said, gaining some of his playfulness back. 

Kurt shrugged, "I might've. For good reason though." 

"An excellent reason," Blaine agreed. 

-

Kurt could hear Blaine flipping through the channels on the television, the constant bits and pieces of different information keeping him from being able to concentrate. He was sitting behind Blaine's laptop, all emails from work answered and now he had to get onto the more serious things. He had two things he needed to take care of. Now that the lockdown had been prolonged, he had to find a way to get home. The other thing on his list was to find him and Blaine a therapist. 

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, looking at the bored man from his place at the kitchen table. His head snapped up the moment Kurt called for him. 

"Hm, yes? What is it? Do you need a password again? I told you I changed them all back," Blaine said, still flicking through the channels. 

"No, I have some things I need to talk about with you." 

"Oh," Blaine turned off the volume of the telly, "that sounds serious." 

"It is, kind of," Kurt didn't sound too sure of himself. 

"What's it about?" 

"Well, there are two things we need to discuss," Kurt said, still a bit reluctant. He and Blaine had been doing so well the last couple of days and he didn't want to break the spell. They'd booked a lot of progression and he was afraid it would all be for nothing if he mentioned wanting to go home. 

"Right, I'll be there in a second," Blaine switched of the television. He folded the blanket, under which he had been curled up on the sofa, and placed it in it's designated spot. He put the remote control back where it belonged as well and then joined Kurt at the kitchen table. 

"So, rule number four," Kurt said, looking at Blaine. Blaine pushed his chair back to retrieve their list from the fridge. 

"What about rule number four?" Blaine asked him, reading the line once over. 

"Couple's therapy," Kurt said, looking at Blaine expectantly. "Have you thought about it already? Do you have anyone in mind?"

"I haven't really had time to go over it, have you?" Blaine asked. Kurt's eyes focused on the laptop screen. "I have a list here," Kurt pushed the laptop away from him in such a manner that Blaine was able to read the screen as well. 

"Do any of them do individual sessions too?" Blaine asked, returning the expectant look. 

"I didn't look at that," Kurt admitted. 

"Maybe you should," Blaine told him. Kurt felt kind of attacked by the statement. 

"Why? We need to fix this thing between us, don't we?" Kurt said defensively. 

"Kurt, honey, I don't think just working on us would be enough. If you want to change, you'll have to put in the work too," Blaine's eyes had softened when he spoke to Kurt. 

Kurt's mind was going one hundred miles an hour, he hadn't thought about it. He had figured out his flaws and thought he'd be good with just a couple's counselor. "I don't know," he said honestly, because he really didn't. "I haven't given it a thought," he confessed. 

"That's okay," Blaine put his hand on top of Kurt's, "I'm not blaming you or telling you off. It's just something you should think about." 

Kurt nodded, maybe he should have. He had never talked to a therapist, he never thought he needed one. Sure, he'd been through tough things in his life, but he was good now. He had made it through them. The difficulties had made him a stronger better. But maybe not a better one. There was still room for growth and maybe he needed a therapist to guide him with that. 

"I will think about it," Kurt tried to sound as convincing as possible. 

"I don't want you to do it for me, Kurt. You have to do it for you," Blaine softly squeezed his hand. Kurt nodded again, Blaine definitely had a point. 

"Okay," he breathed. 

Kurt turned his focus back to the webpage in front of him, " so what do you think of these people? Would you rather talk to a woman or a man?"

Blaine shrugged, "I don't really mind. I care about their qualifications and whether they accept gay people like us." 

Blaine made another point Kurt hadn't thought about. He easily forgot that not everyone was as liberal, even in the big city. At home, he was extra careful, but in the city, he had let go of that quite quickly. He didn't have to, most people simply accepted him for who he was. 

"What you I do without you," Kurt mused. 

"I don't know," Blaine said jokingly. He scrolled down the list of offices Kurt had found, reading the little summary that was written down next to their pictures. 

"Maybe one of these ladies could be a match for us," Blaine dragged the cursor over their faces. The ladies had an arm wrapped around each other and beamed at the camera. In the description, they noted that they would happily help anyone who had problems. They were specialised in the LGBTQ+ people, especially those in transition. They also mentioned to be available for couple's therapy, preferably to those in LGBTQ+ relationships. 

"Do you think that's how they met?" Kurt wondered. He thought it would be kind of romantic to meet your wife at LGBTQ+ counseling classes. He was already thinking up an entire story for two people he had never met. It felt right to him. He felt like they could possibly understand him. 

He realised he hadn't answered Blaine, so he gave him an affirmative nod, "I think they could be wonderful." 

"Are you calling them? Or should I call?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head, "they have an email option, so if it's alright with you, I'll type something up. You can check it and change it and if we both agree, then we send it." 

"That's fine with me," Blaine softly smiled at Kurt, who returned the sentiment. 

"So, what's the other thing you wanted to talk about?" Blaine asked as Kurt put the laptop in front of him again. 

"Oh, it's nothing, forget about it," Kurt smiled at him, only meeting his eyes shortly. 

"Kurt," Blaine raised his eyes brows at him, "no more secrets." 

Kurt sighed, he'd brought it upon himself. "Okay, so, I was thinking, maybe I should try to get back to my own apartment again?" 

Kurt expected for Blaine's face to fall, but it didn't. Instead his face was blank. "Can we just deal with that tomorrow?"


	21. Day Twenty One

Kurt and Blaine had been dancing around each other all morning, both of them desperately avoiding bringing up the conversation they hadn't had the day before. They hadn't been ignoring each other, but they definitely weren't as close as they had been the days before. It was clear that both avoided the conversation about Kurt leaving again. 

"So," Blaine trailed, trying to get Kurt's attention. Kurt was back at aimlessly flipping through the channels on the television again. Kurt looked up at Blaine though when he heard him speak up. "Do you wanna bake cupcakes?" Blaine asked, a little twinkle in his eye. 

"Blaine," Kurt sighed, done with the dancing around one another. "Let's just address the elephant in the room, shall we?" 

"Okay, right," Blaine slumped down in the suede armchair. He plucked on the loose fluff on it, certainly not looking forward to the conversation. 

"I want to go back home," Kurt stated once again, then waited for Blaine to react to it. He didn't want to take the decision on his own, although he knew there was a sense of finality to his words. "If that's okay with you," Kurt added to show Blaine that he was trying to do better, "I don't want to make rash decisions without your input." 

"Thank you," Blaine said, but he didn't sound thankful. He sounded rather sad. 

"Blaine, I know this will be hard and I don't like to be halfway across the city from you either, but it's for the better," Kurt said, trying to reason with his other half. 

"I don't know, Kurt. I appreciate that you want to include me in the decision, but it seems as if you've already taken it," Blaine shrugged. Kurt moved from the couch and crouched in front of Blaine, hands on Blaine's knees to stabilise himself. 

"I promise it's not like that. It's just that I love you too much to mess this up. That's also why I want to discuss it with you," Kurt said, trying to sound as sincere as possible because he really meant it. 

"I know, I know," Blaine said, "but that doesn't mean it doesn't make me sad you want to leave. I like having you around."

"As long as I'm nice to you," Kurt tried to lighten the mood, but there was some truth to his words as well. "I just don't know how long it'll take until I fall back into old patterns. I don't want to tear you down, but I can't guarantee I won't do it if we get snappy with one another," Kurt further explained. Blaine nodded along. 

"Everything you're saying makes sense and I even agree to some extent," Blaine told Kurt, "but somehow it just doesn't feel right." 

"It doesn't to me either," Kurt confirmed what Blaine was saying, "but I think the alternative of losing you is worse." Kurt didn't even want to think about messing things up so badly that they wouldn't even want to be together anymore, but he'd already come close to that once. Never say never, is what kept going through his mind. Over and over, he didn't trust himself not to hurt Blaine again. 

"I don't want to lose you," Blaine had tears in his eyes when he said it, "I already lost you once and it was hell. I don't want a do-over of that."

"Neither do I, sweetheart," Kurt moved one of his hands to cup Blaine's face. He gently stroked his finger along Blaine's cheekbone. The soft touch made him feel fluttery inside. If he forgot the conversation they were having, he could be transported back in time to when they first started dating. 

"Can you leave?" Blaine asked suddenly, he wasn't as wistful anymore. Kurt dropped his hand from Blaine's face. He didn't have the strength or willpower to keep himself up anymore, so he let himself fall flat on his ass. He was careful not to hit the coffee table with the back of his head, they didn't need another trip to the doctor's office. 

"What do you mean?" Kurt noticed the near happiness on Blaine's face. Blaine had obviously noticed something Kurt hadn't in his haste to get away.

"Well, you were ill," Blaine cocked an eyebrow at Kurt. 

"I was," Kurt said, it dawned on him what Blaine had meant. In his haste to get away, he had forgotten about the rules about staying in quarantine after being ill. 

"And I was too," Blaine grinned at him. He faked a cough, "maybe I still am?" Blaine put on those god damned puppy dog eyes that made Kurt so much more likely to give in to whatever Blaine wanted from him. 

"You didn't," Kurt said, lightly hitting Blaine on his arm. 

"Didn't they tell you anything about how to proceed after I got tested?" Kurt asked Blaine, he was trying to think back, but he could barely remember anything. 

"I think they said something about you having to get tested again?" Blaine didn't seem to be able to recall it. "I think we should just look it up, can you hand me my phone?" 

"Yes," Blaine said as he scrolled through the CDC website, "you have to get tested again, twice actually. All your symptoms are gone right?" 

Kurt nodded, they had been for a while. Kurt was a little confused, they hadn't called from the doctor's office. But if he needed to get tested again, shouldn't they have checked up on him again? 

"Are you still taking the fever reduction meds?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head. He hadn't for a couple of days. 

"I guess we'll have to call them then. If you test negative twice in 24 hours, then you're good," Blaine was smiling a little. 

"So you get to keep me at least another 24 hours," Kurt said, smiling at Blaine. Blaine happily returned it with a big smile. He took Kurt's hand and pulled him up only to wrap him up in a hug. Kurt hugged back, somewhat glad he would be staying with Blaine for a bit longer. 

"How long has it been since you started coughing?" Kurt asked Blaine, knowing there had to be some protocol about that as well. 

"That was over a week ago," Blaine recalled, "so we're good there. It's 7 days after I got it, so that means I could leave the house again." 

"Hm, well, I think I should call the doctor's then to get the all-clear as well," Kurt said. 

Kurt looked around for his phone, finding it on the kitchen table. He dialled the number of the doctor's office. 

"Hello, this is Kurt Hummel," Kurt said as the assistant picked up the phone. 

"Hello, what can I do for you?" 

"I came in last week for a COVID-19 test and I tested positive," Kurt explained, not sure whether he should be the one to suggest the new test or not. 

"Alright, how are you feeling right now?" The lady asked. 

"I feel good, a bit tired still, but all other symptoms are gone." 

The assistant asked Kurt to repeat his name and if he could give her his date of birth. He gave the information to the woman and she pulled up his file. 

"Are you of the medication again?" Kurt nodded, which was stupid as the assistant wouldn't be able to see it. 

"Uhm, yes. I stopped taking it two days after I got it," he supplied. 

"Okay, and did you still have a fever after you stopped taking the medication?" 

"I didn't."

"Sounds good, I'm sorry we didn't call earlier to check up on your progress. We've been busy," the assistant apologised. 

"It's fine, I understand-" Kurt wanted to ask about the test, but got interrupted. 

"Do you have time to get in this afternoon around 4 for a final check-up?" 

"Sure," Kurt agreed, he didn't really have anything better to do anyway. 

"Okay, then I'm scheduling you for 4 o'clock. If you test negative, we'll schedule another test for the day after." 

Kurt wanted to know what happened if he tested positive again, but he didn't want to bother the assistant, so he decided against it. "Thank you, I'll be in this afternoon," Kurt bit a goodbye to the lady after she had told her goodbyes to him. 

"I need to go in again at 4 this afternoon," Kurt told Blaine as he placed his phone on the coffee table. 

"Okay, so cupcakes?" 

"You are such a child," Kurt grinned, "but yes, cupcakes." 

"I don't even know if we have all the ingredients," Blaine admitted. 

"We'll make it work," Kurt pulled Blaine out of the chair he was still sitting in and dragged him to the kitchen.

Kurt opened up all the cabinets to search for all-purpose flour, eggs, sugar, milk and butter. They should be able to make some cupcakes with that. 

"Blaine, you warm up the oven," Kurt ordered, Blaine obeyed and put it on. They bickered about the heat, so Kurt pulled up a website to confirm that he was right. 

"Do you have cupcake liners? Or at least a tin?" Kurt asked, knowing he'd taken most of the baking utensils with him after he left. He was the baking queen of the two of them, Blaine was better at eating the bakes. 

"I don't know? Do I?" Blaine asked, knowing that Kurt took most of the stuff. 

"If you haven't bought them, probably not," Kurt replied, he felt a bit sad about it. He enjoyed baking and he hadn't gotten to do it in a long time. At first, he had been too sad to bake, then too busy with work and now they were in lockdown and he wasn't at home with his beloved baking utensils. 

"Just raid the cabinet I always kept my baking stuff in, if I left something behind, it should be there I guess." Blaine pulled open the cabinet next to the oven, he rigorously pulled everything he'd shoved inside there out to try to find something. 

"Are you hungry?" Kurt laughed at Blaine's behaviour. 

"I haven't had any of your bakes in forever and most of the other things just don't measure up," Blaine told Kurt whilst still searching the pantry. 

"Yes! Gotcha!" It sounded victoriously. Blaine had disappeared halfway into the cupboard but held some cupcake liners above his head in victory. 

"I guess it's your lucky day," Kurt smiled at him, taking the cupcake liners out of Blaine's hand. Kurt counted them and they were really in luck, Blaine hadn't just found a couple but around 20, so they were good. 

"Let's whip up a batter," Kurt said, taking a scale out of another cabinet. He handed the scale to Blaine and let him measure the ingredients. 

"First you mix all the dry ingredients together," Kurt instructed. He was leaning against the kitchen table with a watchful eye on Blaine as he darted around the kitchen. 

Blaine followed the orders Kurt had given him and looked at him for the next. "So, now you add the butter and you whisk it."

"By hand?" It sounded in disbelief. 

"No, dummy, not by hand. Take the electrical whisker, I left the old one behind." 

Blaine went back to the cupboard that had once held their baking utensils and found said item right there. He plugged it in and started to whisk. 

"Slowly add the milk to the mixture," Kurt said. He moved over to the cabinet Blaine had just been in to look for some ingredients to possibly spice up the cupcakes. When he didn't find anything, he went to the spice rack. A little cinnamon had never hurt anyone. He also picked up the nutmeg and decided to look if Blaine had some honey. The cupcakes were probably sweet enough already, but who cared. Blaine had a sweet tooth, so he would eat it anyway. 

"I think we're all good," Blaine said proudly as he switched off the whisk. Kurt looked at the batter and agreed. 

"What do you have there?" Blaine looked at the new ingredients Kurt was holding. 

"Nutmeg, cinnamon and honey," Kurt replied, taking the caps of the spices and adding them to the mixture. He eyeballed the amount and hoped it wouldn't be too strong. Kurt retrieved a spoon from the cutlery drawer and handed it to Blaine. 

"Now evenly spread the batter out over all these liners," Kurt had put the liners down on the baking tray, "and then we can put them in the oven." 

Blaine's tongue poked out as he was fully concentrated on putting the batter into the small cupcake liners without spilling the precious mixture. Kurt found it adorable to see. He hadn't done anything, but he had still had a lot of fun baking. 

"You do the honours," Blaine placed the bowl he'd used in the sink and gestured to the baking tray. Kurt took the tray and placed it on the right height in the oven. 

"Now we wait 15 minutes and they should be done," Kurt smiled at Blaine. Blaine squealed happily, even jumping in the air a bit. Baking had brought out his inner child. 

"I'm going to change, I don't want to be late for my appointment," Kurt said as he disappeared into the bedroom. He put some thought into his outfit and scrubbed his body clean. He was sure he hadn't made a good impression the last time he was at the doctor's office and he needed to change that. 

"You look great," Blaine said as Kurt walked back into the living room area. Blaine could definitely tell that Kurt was nervous. Last time he had been so out of it that he didn't have time to be nervous, but he was getting it all now. 

"Thanks," Kurt said, examining his outfit another time. 

"Did you call for a cab already?" Blaine asked, he moved to the kitchen to check up on the cupcakes. Kurt followed him and crouched down in front of the oven as well. The cupcakes looked good, they were on their way to a nice golden brown. 

"I did," Kurt said casually. Or that's how he wanted to come across. 

"It's okay to be nervous, Kurt," Blaine said, seeing right through Kurt. Kurt grumbled, but let it go in favour of watching the cupcakes. He wanted painstakingly until the timer went off. He took the baking tray out of the oven a little carelessly, burning his arm on the oven. The baking tray clatter on top of the stove, cupcakes flying everywhere. 

Blaine had watched the entire scene fold out in front of him. His eyes went from the cupcakes to Kurt as if to determine who he should safe first. 

Kurt had the tap running already and put his arm underneath the running water. "Just go pick up the cupcakes already," he hissed. The impact of the water hurt more than he cared to admit. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine said after gathering all the cupcakes. "Let me look at it," he softly pulled Kurt's arm away from the spray and examined the burn. It didn't look to badly. The contact had been minor and it didn't seem to be blistering. 

"I'll just get the first aid kit and wrap it up for you," Blaine said, pushing Kurt's arm back under the streaming water. He came back with the kit and wrapped up the burn. He softly placed a kiss on top of the bandage, "all better now," he smiled cheekily. Kurt couldn't help but smile back because Blaine was too adorable. 

"Oh shit," Kurt uttered when he looked at the clock. The cab had already arrived. "I've got to go." He rushed out of the kitchen and put on his coat as he wrapped a scarf around his face. 

"Be careful!" Blaine screamed in goodbye. 

The cab took Kurt to the doctor's office where they repeated the same procedure they had performed the week before. This time around he noticed how uncomfortable the swabbing up his nose was, but it didn't cause any pain. He had to wait in the waiting room for a bit and got the results. Luckily, he had tested negative. The assistant set up another appointment for him for the next day and he was cleared to leave again. At home, Blaine was waiting for him with freshly baked cupcakes, a cup of tea and a romcom. It truly felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter so far, damn.. Didn't see that one coming. I think there won't be that many chapters after this one. I can't say how many as I literally type up this chapter and then upload it. There isn't much planning behind it. But I feel like I've properly dragged out this story already. Don't think there's much left to tell.


	22. Day Twenty Two

One Kurt's last night at his old apartment, Blaine made him sleep in the bed. The way he'd told Kurt to just take it was almost as if it were a parting gift.

Kurt awoke to a soft pitter-patter against the window. He would've preferred to wake up with the sun kissing his face, but the odds hadn't been in his favour. 

The moment Kurt decided to get out of bed, Blaine appeared in the door frame. "Mind if I join you?" He asked innocently. 

"Dunno," Kurt said, smirking lightly. 

Blaine slid under the blankets, "as long as we don't cuddle, fall asleep or have sex, we're not breaking our rules." He quirked his eyebrow, earning a soft push from Kurt. 

"I can't with you," he murmured. They were lying on their sides, facing each other. Kurt studied Blaine's face; taking in all the features he would be missing the unforeseeable future. Blaine seemed to be returning the favour. It ended in a staring competition, which was broken in favour of a laughing fit. 

"I'm going to miss you," Blaine sighed. 

"And I'll miss you," Kurt traced his fingers down Blaine's face. Not only remembering the vision but the feel as well. Blaine's hand laid loosely on Kurt's arm, allowing the touch.

"It was nice to have you stay with me," Blaine told him. 

"Oh really, you didn't seem too sure about that three weeks ago," Kurt teased him. 

"As if you did," Blaine joked right back. "Hmm," Kurt said, Blaine had a point he hadn't been that happy about having to stay here either. "I guess you're right," Kurt gave in. 

"You tried to flee, my dear. Of course, I'm right," Blaine almost got cocky. Kurt laughed at Blaine, enjoying the moment and saving it for another time. 

"Let's get up, I have packing to do," Kurt said, sitting up in the bed reluctantly. He didn't want to break the magic, but he knew he had to. Blaine nodded and sat up as well. "Do you want to shower first?" 

"Gladly," Kurt smiled. "I wish I could just get in the shower with you," Blaine watched Kurt leave the bed and gather his clothes. 

Kurt disappeared into the bathroom with the promise that Blaine would make them breakfast. 

He was met with a pile of pancakes when he came into the kitchen. "I just wanted to give you a last good meal," Blaine smiled at him, there was a hint of sadness to it though. 

"You know I can cook right, I should be more worried about you cooking a good meal for yourself." 

"I know you do, I was just trying to be nice." 

"I greatly appreciate it," Kurt said, reaching out to lace his fingers with Blaine's.

-

"I really think it's time to go now," Kurt said, he had packed everything. He would go to the doctor's office to get tested again and then he would return to Blaine's to get his stuff. Then he'd take the metro home. In his panic three weeks ago he hadn't remembered that he could take the metro. He also hadn't encountered a station, so there was nothing to remind him. 

"I think so too," Blaine was a little teary-eyed. "You'll be back though after the test, right?" 

"Oh God, you're going all mother hen on me. You still have me, Blaine," Kurt said. Blaine handed Kurt his set of keys back so that he could enter the building after he got tested. 

"I still have you and you can come back whenever you want," Blaine said. He looked honestly sorry that Kurt was leaving. 

"I'm gonna go now, I'll be back in a bit," Kurt smiled sadly as he pulled the door closed behind him. It didn't feel right to leave, it was as if a magnet pulled him back. He couldn't go back though. They had made the decision. 

He left the building and waited for the cab to get there. He stepped into it and let him be driven to the doctor's office. Once he was there, he had to wait for a bit before he was called in. 

"Hi Kurt, how are you today? Are you ready for another test?" The doctor asked him. He nodded, he just wanted to get it over with. 

"Okay, so I think you know what'll happen now," she smiled at him. He nodded again and watched her ready the testing kit. "So, here we go," she came in with the cotton swap that would have to go up his nose. He sat back and let her do it. Even the third time, it wasn't comfortable. He was glad that it would probably be the last time now. He didn't want to do that ever again. 

"Just wait in the waiting room now, we'll call you back with the results," the doctor smiled at him and gestured for him to leave. He sat down in the waiting room and waited a couple of minutes. 

"Kurt Hummel," the assistant said, she looked familiar to him, but he couldn't place it. She had probably been there the first time he was in, but he wasn't sure. Kurt stood up to follow the assistant. 

"Congratulations, the test came back negative. You're officially cured," the assistant smiled at him. He felt a bit lighter as he got back in the cab which would take him back to Blaine's apartment. 

He thanked the driver when they arrived back at their starting point. He tipped the man and then left. He took the key out of his pocket and reluctantly slid it into the hole. He greeted the doorman and took the stairs. He stood in front of the door for a few minutes, just being there. The apartment that had been his home for such a long time and had been again for the last few weeks. It was then that he realised that his home was with Blaine, not a certain place. Home was a person. 

He sighed and pushed the key into the keyhole. He didn't even have to scream a 'honey I'm home' as Blaine was right there. "Hi," Blaine breathed. He had clearly been waiting for Kurt to come back. 

"Hey, I'm here again," Kurt had a sad smile on his face. He didn't want to leave Blaine, but he had to remember that it wouldn't be for forever. 

"Come here," Blaine opened his arms and waited for Kurt to fall into them, which he did. Blaine tightly wrapped Kurt up in a hug. "I'm gonna miss you so much, I don't want you to leave," Blaine was crying by now. 

"Hey, it's okay. This isn't a forever thing. When the time is right, we'll move back in together," Kurt tried to soothe Blaine, but it was hard as he was feeling particularly sad himself as well. 

"Can I-can I kiss you?" Blaine asked. 

"Technically, you aren't allowed to," Kurt said, but then crashed his lips against Blaine's. He could taste Blaine's salty tears on his lips. He felt Blaine's tongue at the seam of his lips and allowed him to explore his mouth. It had been quite some time since they had done this, but it was the perfect parting gift. He would've preferred fewer tears, but sometimes you just need to allow the feelings to take over. That's one of the valuable lessons he got out of his time with Blaine. 

The kiss lasted several moments and got a bit hotter than was appropriate. Kurt softly pushed Blaine away before it got too hot and heavy. "I'm sorry," Blaine said as he realised what had just happened. 

"It's okay. I couldn't wish for a better goodbye," Kurt was getting a little teary-eyed himself now. 

"Please, don't cry," Blaine begged him, wiping away the tears on his cheek. 

"If I need to cry, then I'm going to," Blaine chuckled at Kurt's response, somehow also a bit relieved. "I'll be back. You're my home." 

Kurt took the packed luggage with him. He was almost about to pull the door closed behind him, when he realised that the divorce papers were still hidden. 

"I thought you were going to leave," Blaine questioned as he saw Kurt again, he looked worse for wear now. He had let go and had big tears rolling down his cheek.

"I was, but I realised the divorce papers are still hidden. You didn't find them right?" Kurt asked. 

Blaine shook his head, "where did you put them?" 

Kurt beckoned Blaine to follow him, so he took him to the bedroom. He lifted the mattress up and revealed the manila folder. "Do you want to keep them or should I keep them?" Kurt asked Blaine, he wasn't sure what to do with them. Especially since they didn't need them anymore. Well, that's what they hoped. 

"I don't want them. I still think we should burn them or something," Blaine said, tears still running down his face. He was snotty now and kept wiping his nose on his sleeve. Kurt was horrified by the motion, although he also found it cute in some sort of sick and twisted way. 

"Please don't ruin your jumper," Kurt said, he just couldn't watch Blaine do it. He walked to the bathroom and got Blaine a piece of loo roll, "take this instead." 

"I'll take these with me," he gestured towards the manila folder that held the paperwork. Blaine gave him a weak nod and watched Kurt put it in his bag. Kurt took a final glance at the bedroom and decided to head out for real now. "This is it," he said, swallowing down the tears he felt coming now. There was a finality to him leaving. Another chapter had closed, maybe an entire book had. They still had their future though and if they played their cards right, they would be enjoying it together. 

"Bye Blaine," Kurt gave a little wave and pulled the door shut behind him. He picked up a box he had left next to the front door and headed to the lift. It took him down, he said his goodbyes to the doorman and left. He found the nearest metro station, which was luckily still opened. He paid for his ride and waited for it to arrive. He had 15 minutes to spare as the metros ran less frequently now. He was glad to find they still did. 

To kill some time he decided to call his dad, he wasn't sure whether the reception would be good enough, but he tried anyway. 

After a couple of rings, Burt Hummel answered his phone. "Hi dad, I'm leaving," Kurt said, he didn't really explain. 

"You sound sad, kiddo. Well, maybe sad is not the right word, but I can't place it. You don't sound defeated though, so I presume he took it well," Burt analysed. 

"I guess you could say that he did," Kurt confirmed. "We talked, we were honest with each other and we decided to go to couple's therapy. I realised that I could use some therapy myself as well. I know I've always been against it, even with the bullying and mum dying, but I think I'm finally ready to admit that it might help me. I think I could become a better person by talking it all over with a specialist." 

"I'm so proud of you son," Burt said, Kurt could hear the sheer emotion in his voice. 

"I already had one man fall apart on me today, I don't need another," Kurt tried to joke, but it didn't really work out. "Oh, and I went to the doctor's office today." 

"What did they say? You cured?" Kurt hummed in affirmation and explained to his dad what had happened. He also went a bit further into what he and Blaine had discussed. It was a good conversation. It gave Kurt a tremendous amount of hope for the future. 

"I've got to go now, the metro is almost here," Kurt watched the digital clock that said the metro would arrive in a minute. 

"Be safe, kid," Burt said, then they exchanged sentiments before hanging up altogether. Again, Kurt felt lighter. He felt like the talk with his dad was another confirmation about how he'd made the right decision. 

It took Kurt forty minutes to get home. He got checked by some officials, but they told him he was fine travelling to his apartment. It certainly helped that he was almost at his stop, so it would only take longer for him to get back to the apartment. They just wanted him off of the streets the fastest way possible. 

Kurt walked the two blocks back to his own apartment building. Even though he lived on the first floor, he took the lift up. He wanted to see if Mrs Smith was awake as well. He stood in front of her window and waved. The had a huge smile on her face when she saw him and waved back to him. Kurt quickly went inside and sorted out his stuff. He then beelined for a piece of paper and wrote a message for Mrs Smith. He taped it to the window that faced her apartment and waited for her response. 

The apartment felt eerily quiet, but that wasn't any different from how it had been before. It had always been too quiet. He had gotten used to the homey sounds of Blaine and he would have to get used to being alone again. The promise of moving in with Blaine again when they got everything back on track was what kept him going. Instead of sitting down on the couch and crying, he cleaned out the whole house. It was highly needed as not all the products he had stored could be kept for three weeks straight. It smelled in his home. 

At the end of the evening, he sunk down in his bed. It was colder than he remembered. The only bit of warmth he felt, was Blaine's shirt that he had wrapped around him. He hadn't wanted to steal any of Blaine's clothing, so he was pleasantly surprised to find the jumper in the box of clothes he'd taken home with him. 

The last thing he did before falling into a deep sleep was texting Blaine. 

Kurt to Blaine 23.45  
Thank you, I love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last regular chapter. To finish it off I'll write an epilogue. I want to show a series of future events, so the epilogue will most likely be longer than my average chapter. I hope to have it up by tomorrow, but it might take a little longer.
> 
> p.s I forgot that public transport existed although I regularly travel by public transport. I had a revelation in the shower one day and remembered, so I found a way to get Kurt home.


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: character death. Don't read 'three years a.l' if you're not comfortable with that. The rest is pretty fluffy!

**Two weeks a.l (after lockdown)**  
Kurt stood in front of the door of his neighbour. He was glad they had finally been able to set up an appointment. It turned out that Mrs Smith might be grey and old, well not old, you don't call ladies old, but she was very busy. Kurt was back to work since the lockdown had been ended, so he was busy as well.

Kurt raised his balled-up fist to knock on the door, but it wasn't needed as Mrs Smith had been expecting him. The door was open before his fist met the hardwood door. "Oh, hello there," Kurt said, a little surprised at the speed the lady still seemed to have. He had expected her to be a bit slower, although she was very keen. He hadn't expected the same sharpness in her movements as in her wit. 

"Hello, dear, come in," she gestured to him, stepping aside to make room. Kurt was a bit taken aback, not sure how to handle the situation. He had been texting and calling with Mrs Smith, but it was different to meet her in the flesh. He didn't know the etiquette that was part of this. "Thank you," he said politely as he stepped inside. 

"Can I take your jacket?" The lady asked, Kurt shook his head. He had forgone the jacket, "I didn't need one to cross the hallway," he explained. 

"Oh sure, I didn't know whether you'd been home already," Mrs Smith said. She led Kurt into her living room. It looked posh inside. She had some expensive-looking still lives hanging on the walls. An antique cupboard portraying all her china, which looked equally expensive. The sofa had had a lot of love and was a bit worn out, but not to such an extent that it didn't fit in the interior. She also had several vases with (fake) flowers scattered around the house. It was almost stereotypical, Kurt thought to himself. He let out a small chuckle. 

"You have a made this into a very beautiful space," Kurt told her, he loved some vintage himself. Right now, his apartment didn't really look the picture as he couldn't afford it. Not with the expenses of the lawyer and paying rent on one income. 

"Thank you, love," she said. The kettle was already boiling, so she told Kurt to sit down when she went to retrieve a teapot and some cups for them. She carried a tray back into the living room, a teapot, two cups on saucers and a fancy sugar pot balancing on top of it.

"That certainly looks fancy," Kurt couldn't help himself, he had to mention it. 

"What else did you expect from a respectable woman like me," she mused. Kurt laughed at her and shook her head. 

"Would you like some sugar in your tea?" She was pouring them both a cuppa. 

"No, thank you," Kurt straightened his back in his seat. It shot through his head that Blaine would be a perfect match for her, he was well mannered, more so than Kurt. He would know how to act in this situation. 

"C'mon, don't be so quiet," Mrs Smith said, "you talked the ears off of my head on the phone." 

"I did, I guess," Kurt's cheeks turned a little red. 

"I enjoyed it, no worries honey. C'mon, entertain me. How has it been back at work?" 

"It's been good. Very hectic as we've been out of business for weeks, so we all had to get back into it. But I'm glad that I can do something again. Being cooped inside had been going crazy. I've sown more garments than ever before."

"You sew?" Mrs Smith raised an eyebrow at Kurt. 

"I do, in fact, you're looking at a Kurt Hummel design right here," Kurt stood up and twirled carefully, he didn't want to break anything. 

"You're good!" 

"Well, it's easier when you know who you're working for," Kurt smiled, not really taking the compliment. 

"Just say thank you," Mrs Smith reprimanded him. Yes, she definitely had some resemblances with Blaine. 

"Okay, thank you. You know where to find me if you ever need alternations," he smiled at her. 

They sipped on their teas and conversation flowed easily. Kurt was glad that fate had brought the two of them together. She was almost like the grandmother he always wished he had. She was funny, had quick wit and was interested in a lot of things Kurt was too.

 **A month a.l**  
"God, I'm so nervous," Blaine said as he met Kurt. He wrapped his arms around him in a quick hug. "I'm glad we met beforehand. It feels better to be able to walk in together."

"It does," Kurt agreed. He was very glad Blaine wanted to mee up beforehand as well. He was terrified. He knew that he signed them up for this, but he still didn't know whether he was ready for it. At first, he'd been glad that they couldn't immediately start. Their counsellor wanted their first meeting to be in person, plus they already had a waiting list. So, they had to wait until the country went out of lockdown and then another month.

Kurt and Blaine had met in front of Blaine's apartment building as it was closest to the practice. It was only a couple of blocks away, so they decided to walk, something that would hopefully help with the nerves as well. 

"God, Blaine, you really are nervous," Kurt said as he watched Blaine rub his hands on his trousers for the umpteenth time. 

"I am," Blaine nodded. Kurt hoped he didn't radiate the same level of nervousness although he was certain that he felt it.

"How do I look?" Kurt asked Blaine once they were in front of the practice. 

"You look fine, love. No worries, c'mon," Blaine extended his sweaty hand to Kurt, who reluctantly took it. Was it weird to walk into your couple's counselling holding hands? Kurt's mind went in overdrive, he was analysing every single thing that was happening to him. 

"Just take a deep breath," Blaine told him, so he did and it actually made him feel the tiniest bit better. 

They took place in the small waiting room. No one was there to greet them, but soon they were called in, "Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson-Hummel?" 

Blaine and Kurt both stood up and followed the woman back into the room. She sat down behind her desk, gesturing the men to sit down on the other side.

She extended her hand and introduced herself to them both as Doctor Jean. 

"So, can you explain why you're here," Dr Jean asked them. 

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other. Blaine nodded for Kurt to go ahead. "Well, we were actually about to get divorced when the lockdown hit us. I was dropping off the divorce papers at Blaine's place when the message spread. I tried to get back to my own apartment immediately, but I bumped into a soldier and he wouldn't let me travel back to my place. I had to stay at Blaine's place for three weeks and we realised we still loved each other, but that we had done a lot of messed up things to ourselves and our relationship." 

"Like," Dr Jean asked, wanting Kurt to elaborate.

"Before I told Blaine we would be better off divorced, I kept picking fights with him. The smallest things would turn into the biggest problems. Like he'd leave his towel on the bathroom floor and I would flip. I realised that I was scared of being vulnerable with him. To share my deepest wishes. After I had a dream in which he died, I realised I couldn't lose him. I talked to my dad about it and he told me to dive into why I kept pushing Blaine away, I think it was pretty clear to everyone that that was exactly what I was doing. And I hurt him in the process. I think he was the first to notice because it took me a while to realise I was doing it," Kurt just blabbered on. 

"Okay, thank you, Kurt." She had attentively been watching Kurt and shifted her eyes to Blaine now. "What about you, can you tell me why you're here?" 

"Kurt just told you why we're here," Blaine said, kind of agreeing with everything that Kurt had said. 

"No," Dr Jean said firmly. Blaine flinched at the word. "No, I want to hear from you."

Blaine nodded, "okay, madame." He immediately went back to that polite mode he could be in. "Well, I agree with what Kurt said. He came to drop off the divorce papers and then couldn't leave. At first, I was glad. I had missed him and I didn't want to lose him. He resembled the good in my life, everything else could be forgotten as long as I had him. He was like my sun, my sense of direction in life. I was glad to have that back after three long months. Then uhm-," Blaine blushed, "then we had sex. I signed the divorce papers, knowing what we did was wrong. He fled immediately after he realised what we had just done, so I knew that he didn't want me anymore. It was over. The next day, he tried to leave again and I just got so angry. I had allowed myself to fall for him again in those few days and he made it crumble. It just hurt so badly and I hated myself for doing that to myself. Kurt came back after like half an hour because he had run into some officials who warned him and took him back to my place and then I lost it. It almost hit him and that scared me so much. I didn't think I would ever be capable of that. I was ashamed, so I locked myself in the bedroom. The next day I acted as if nothing happened and so did Kurt. I just wanted to forget about it. Then Kurt fell ill, he contracted the virus. It was pretty intense to take care of him, fever does weird things. But it helped us realise that we don't want to divorce, despite the signatures on the actual paper. He realised he still loved me, first he blurted it out after that dream he just mentioned and then the next day he told me as well. We had an honest conversation and I wanted to go through with the divorce. I didn't want to be hurt all over again by his rejection. We had another honest talk in which he explained why he pushed me away and I can't really remember it exactly, but we agreed to do couple's counselling after that. I couldn't deny that I still loved him, which I do."

Kurt hadn't ever heard Blaine say that much. Sure, he talked a lot, but it never with such depth to it. Even Blaine seemed to be shocked by the number of things he revealed. 

"Do you trust Kurt?" Dr Jean asked Blaine. She looked him dead in the eye and Blaine cowered in his seat. Blaine looked at Kurt questioningly. Kurt shook his head, he wanted Blaine to be honest, he didn't need Blaine to give the politically correct answer. 

"Blaine, I need you to be honest about this. I don't think Kurt would mind if you don't, it's what you're here for," Dr Jean said softly. She tried to comfort Blaine from behind her desk.

"I guess, I don't," Blaine said softly, he looked ashamed. 

"Do you trust Blaine, Kurt?"

"I do and I don't," Kurt said. "I trust that he loves me, but I don't trust him to tell me when I'm not good to him." Kurt swallowed, then added in a soft tone "I don't trust myself not to hurt him." 

"Hm, I see," Dr Jean scribbled something down in her notebook. 

"Are you still living separately?" They both nodded, still a bit in their head about the previous questions. 

"You're both here for separate therapy sessions as well, right?" Dr Jean asked, just to check. Again, they nodded. 

"Do you have any questions?"

Blaine looked up at her, almost pleadingly, "Do you- do you think we have a chance?" 

Kurt's heart ached at the question. He didn't want to think about not making it out with Blaine by his side. They were both determined to stay married, but what if they wouldn't be able to. 

"There's always a chance for everyone, Blaine. It just depends on how hard you work for it. You have to put in effort in order for things to get better. You're definitely not a lost cause though. You've taken the first step, which is coming here and actually talking," she smiled at them. 

"Kurt?" She asked, but Kurt shook his head. He didn't have a question, his mind was still occupied with what Blaine had just said. He was trying to process it all. These sessions were not going to be as easy as he thought they would be, that was for sure. 

**Two months a.l**  
"So, Blaine Anderson-Hummel, would you do me the honour of taking you out?" Blaine and Kurt stood in front of the practice of their counsellor. She had told them they should go on a date, forget about everything they had been talking about. They needed to have fun together. 

"Yes, I would love to," Blaine blushed a little. "Where are you taking me?" 

"You'll just have to trust me," Kurt winked at him. They had been working on their trust in therapy and maybe it was mean to say that to Blaine, but he was pretty certain Blaine could handle the joke. 

"And what if I don't?" Blaine asked cheekily. 

"Don't know," Kurt shrugged, "I'd advise you to just do it." 

"Easier said than done," there was a hint of seriousness to his voice, but his eyes still shone with that playful twinkle.

"Are you free at six this Friday?" Kurt asked Blaine. 

"Yes, even if I'm not, I will be," Blaine said firmly. 

Kurt sighed, "Blaine, it's okay to say no to me. I can wait if you already have plans."

"Kurt, I just want to do this with you and I want nothing to keep me from it," Blaine defended himself. 

"I appreciate that, but check your diary and if it turns out you already have something to do, then we'll reschedule, okay?" 

Blaine nodded in agreement, albeit reluctantly. 

-

That Friday, Kurt put himself in his best suit. It was a gorgeous blue velvet number. It probably wasn't the best outfit for the date he planned, but he wanted to put in the effort. He'd travelled to Blaine's with a heavy picnic basket, it would immediately give away his plans, but he didn't mind. Blaine had been patient with him.

He rang the buzzer and waited for Blaine to get down. Blaine had dressed for the occasion as well, wearing a nice burgundy suit. 

"Oh look at us," Kurt joked. "We're both wearing suits for a picnic date." 

"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" 

"We might be," Kurt smiled at Blaine, glad to be idiots together. 

"But we're really going for a picnic?" Blaine asked, a bit confused. 

"Yes, Blaine. We're really going picnicking," Kurt confirmed. 

"C'mon, let's go," Kurt hooked his free arm around Blaine's and dragged him to a nearby park. Once they arrived there, he opened the basket and got a blanket out. He spread it out on the grass and waited for Blaine to sit down. Thereafter, he started to unpack the basket. He had brought an array of food, freshly baked cupcakes, strawberries, olives, baguette and a bottle of wine. He had even gone as far as bringing his crystal wine glasses. 

"Are you kidding me?" Blaine asked as Kurt pulled out the said wine glasses. 

"Nope," Kurt popped the 'p', "only the best for you."

"You didn't bring plates though," Blaine remarked cheekily. Kurt shrugged and pulled some serviettes out. 

They enjoyed their meal, feeding each other and finishing the bottle of wine way quicker than they should. Once they were done eating, Blaine presumed their date was done, he started to pack the things Kurt would have to take home again. 

"You walking me back home?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head, "we're not done yet. We'll have to walk a bit, though, if you don't mind."

"You're good, it's a wonderful evening."

Kurt took Blaine's arm again and dragged him to another park. "They'll be showing Breakfast at Tiffany's," Kurt explained as he showed the tickets to the doorman. 

Blaine followed Kurt through the gates that had been set up, then realised they were in an open-air cinema. "This is so nice," he marvelled. 

"I hoped you'd like it," Kurt beamed at him. 

"Of course I like it, I get to spend time with you." 

"You're such a sap sometimes," Kurt shoved Blaine playfully. 

They picked out a place to spread out their blanket. Kurt pulled another one out of the basket in case they got cold. Halfway through the movie, Blaine had hogged the entire blanket, claiming he was cold. Once Kurt started to shiver, Blaine practically draped himself over Kurt to keep him warm. 

"You're not falling asleep on me, are you?" Kurt asked as he started threading his fingers through Blaine's hair. Blaine only purred.

"Hey, no sleeping," Blaine looked up innocently at Kurt. "Well, what are you going to do to keep me from falling asleep," he challenged Kurt. Kurt pulled the blanket off of him, making his shriek. 

"That's not fair, it's cold."

"Psst, keep quiet," the couple in front of them hissed, which made Kurt and Blaine laugh.

The film didn't last for much longer, so they started packing up. They might not have made it to the end credits, but at least they had had a fun time. Kurt brought Blaine back to his apartment and then took the metro home, feeling much better than he had in a long while. He dared to let himself feel happy again.

 **Four months a.l**  
Things were great between Kurt and Blaine. They were spending a lot of time together, even slept over at each other's place, in the same bed. They hadn't been intimate yet, saving that for a more memorable day, but things were good and they had been for a while.

Kurt was lying in bed with Blaine pressed against his side. He was carding his fingers through Blaine's hair, something he thoroughly enjoyed doing. The curls just kept jumping back in place, so it was amusing to pull on them. 

"Kurt," Blaine hummed against him chest. 

"Hmm, what did you say?" Kurt asked Blaine. Blaine moved to balance himself on his elbow, still facing Kurt. 

"Do you think it's time to move back in together?" Blaine had a hopeful look in his eyes. 

"Dunno, do you?" Kurt asked, he didn't want to move too fast, yet it also felt sort of right to him. 

"I think we're ready," Blaine said, there was a firmness to his words. 

"Then maybe we should think about it," Kurt agreed. 

"Do you want to move here? Or should we move back to your apartment?" Kurt asked him. He had loved their old apartment, but he also felt like the bad things still hung in the air there. He much rather that Blaine over at his place. That didn't mean he was never at Blaine's apartment. 

"This is closer to work for you, my place is closer to mine," Blaine said, not really making a decision. 

"That's true, I think I would prefer to stay here," Kurt said honestly. "The apartments are about the same size."

"Why don't we look for a new place?" Blaine asked. 

"Well, if we want to renew those vows, I think we'll need to save a bit," Kurt said. 

"About that, I think we should actually remarry," Blaine told Kurt, who looked hopelessly confused. 

"You mean that we have to get divorced and then marry again?" His brows were knitted in confusion.

"Yes, we already have the divorce papers, you will have to pay the lawyer for the hours he put in and then we'll have to go to court to legally change your name. So, I feel like it'd be just as easy to get divorced and to marry again. It'll be easier to change your name once it's on a marriage certificate," Blaine explained. 

"That might make sense," Kurt said. "I'll call my lawyer and ask him about it."

"Do that and you have a point, we might want to start saving for all that," Blaine reaffirmed.

"So, my place or yours?" Kurt asked.

"I don't really have anything that keeps me there other than the memory of it being our first apartment together," Blaine said. 

"And that's exactly why I don't like it so much. I feel like it's a constant reminder of the bad things we went through," Kurt told Blaine honestly. 

"Okay, I can understand that, thank you for telling me," Blaine made sure to comment on Kurt's honesty. "It's just, isn't this apartment a reminder of it as well? You only got it because of what went wrong in our apartment."

"Hm," Kurt thought, "no, I don't feel that way. What you're saying does make sense though. I guess you're right, but for me, it isn't connected to that. Of the two of us together in this apartment, I only have lovely reminders."

"So do I," Blaine said. 

"Plus, I'd kinda hate to leave Mrs Smith behind as well," Kurt said.

"I knew it! I knew that lady would wiggle her way into your heart," Blaine teased Kurt. He'd always joke about how Kurt likes to befriend people 40 years his senior(it really only was Mrs Smith).

"I mean, she's everything I hope to be at her age. Except for the part where she's a widower, I hope I still have you by my side then," Kurt gave Blaine one of his utterly lovey Dovey smiles. 

"I hope so too," Blaine beamed back at him, "I hope we'll have moved to a slightly bigger apartment by then though."

 **Five months a.l**  
Blaine had moved into Kurt's apartment. Today, was the first day he would get the full experience of living there as he was joining Kurt on his fortnightly visit to Mrs Smith. She had become part of Kurt's life after the lockdown pretty quickly. 

"Don't be nervous," Kurt told Blaine bordering on telling him off. "Mrs Smith is very lovely. She actually reminds me of you quite a bit," Kurt smiled at Blaine. The comment earned an exasperated gasp from Blaine.

"Are you telling me I behave like a posh old lady?" There was a playful note to his tone, but Kurt could tell he didn't like the comparison very much. 

"No, but I think you'll see why once we get there," Kurt was putting on his shiny shoes and urged Blaine to do the same. He opened the door and walked across the hallway, already knocking on Mrs Smith's door although Blaine wasn't ready yet. 

"Oh, hello Kurt," the lady smiled at him, "where's that dashing husband of yours?" 

They weren't married anymore, but Kurt didn't comment on it. Not yet at least, that would come later. "Blaine," Kurt hollered, seeing Blaine shoving his feet into his shoes at the other side of the hallway. 

"Yes, yes, I'm coming," Blaine yelled back to Kurt, he clearly didn't know Mrs Smith was at the door already or he would've straightened out his act. 

Kurt waited for Blaine to join him and watched him pull the door shut behind him. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mrs Smith," Blaine said as he noticed the elderly lady. 

"It's okay, darling. I'm glad to finally meet you," she took Blaine's hand in hers and softly squeezed it. 

"I'm glad to meet you too. Kurt has told me a lot about you," he smiled politely. 

"Now come in boys," Mrs Smith stepped aside so that the gentlemen could walk in. Kurt immediately took place on the sofa where he always sat. He softly padded the seat next to him as if to ask Blaine to sit down there. 

Blaine reluctantly looked up at Mrs Smith to get an okay from her. She chuckled and nodded. The lady left for the kitchen to make them some drinks. 

"What do you want Kurt? Tea? Sparkling water? Some bubbles?" She yelled from the kitchen.

"You have bubbles?" Kurt yelled back, a bit confused. 

"Yes, this is a special occasion, isn't it?" Kurt looked at Blaine, who looked utterly confused. 

"Why's that?" Kurt asked. 

"Well, you did finally bring around your husband, didn't you," she came out with three flutes and a bottle of champagne. 

"You are your own kind of crazy," Kurt told her, giving her a wicked smile. She just shrugged and put the flutes down. 

She handed the bottle to Blaine, "you uncork it, I'll be in the kitchen. I put some grapes in the freezer." She left the men with a wink. 

"I told you she's something else," Kurt smiled at Blaine.

"You told me she reminds you of me and the longer I'm here the more that confuses me," Blaine admitted, still holding on to the bottle of champagne. He started to unscrew the metal bit that kept the cork in place. 

"Kurt," Blaine hissed, Kurt turned to him, "how do I pop this without ruining anything in here." Blaine's eyes were wide and he was genuinely concerned of breaking something. 

"Oh, it's still not open?" Mrs Smith walked in with a crystal bowl holding the frozen grapes. 

"I don't want to break anything," Blaine confessed. Mrs Smith erupted in laughter at that. 

"You'd do me a favour." 

Judging by the look on his face, Blaine really thought the woman had lost it now. 

"C'mon, off with that cork!" Mrs Smith pressured him, so he shook the bottle a little to build up some bubbles. He unwinded the last bit of metal and flicked his thumb against the cork. It shot out of the bottle and hit one of the paintings. Some of the champagne poured over the floor, but Mrs Smith still didn't seem to mind. Kurt quickly got up from the couch to get a towel to save the hardwood flooring as Blaine poured them some champagne. 

"Cheers, to a happy set of husbands," Mrs Smith raised her glass in a toast and the gentlemen clinked their glasses with hers. 

"About that," Kurt smiled, "we're actually divorced right now." 

Mrs Smith's mouth fell open, "why are you bringing your ex-husband here then?" 

"Because we're getting married again," Blaine supplied. The confusion on Mrs Smith's face grew only.

"He took my name after we got married, well he hyphenated it and I didn't, I kept my own. I have regretted it ever since. It just happens to be easier to get your name changed if you have a marriage certificate, so we're tying the knot again," Kurt explained. 

"I see," Mrs Smith commented. "Gosh, you two must really love one another," it was merely a statement, she didn't mean anything by it. "My late husband and I were like that. We renewed our vows every year," it was as if she let them in on a secret. 

"That's really lovely, I'm sorry he died," Blaine said, sympathy in his eyes. 

"His health had been bad for a while, so I was a bit relieved to see him go. He had been in so much pain for quite some time."

"I don't think I'd be able to watch Kurt in pain," Blaine agreed. "I'm still sorry he isn't here anymore."

"It's alright darling. Just pay me a visit sometimes, it helps with the loneliness." 

Kurt snorted, "we're barely home. He's been living with me for close to a month now and this was the first time you were available." 

Blaine looked shocked at that, not used to the dimension of the relationship between Kurt and Mrs Smith. 

"It's okay," Mrs Smith tried to soothe Blaine, she placed a comforting hand on his arm. "He's right, but it doesn't mean the evenings get lonely."

Kurt wanted to apologise, but Mrs Smith saw right through it. "Oh, no, don't you dare!"

Conversation flowed easily after downing half of the bottle. Blaine quickly felt more comfortable. It was also nice that Mrs Smith treated them like family. Blaine could see her as his grandma if he squinted. Kurt had told him that she lured people in like that and he was right. Blaine still didn't entirely understand why Kurt compared him and Mrs Smith, but he didn't find it as insulting anymore. 

**A year and a half a.l**  
Kurt felt nervous. Terribly nervous. He was standing at the end of the isle Blaine would be walking down in a few minutes. He knew Blaine wouldn't be a runaway groom, not after all they'd been through. Still, he was nervous to no end. He was more nervous than he had been the first time he'd done this. Maybe that was because he had been the one walking down the aisle back then, he wasn't sure. 

They were back in Ohio, where they had invited their closest friends and family to come to their wedding. The first time around they'd had an extravagant wedding, but now they wanted to keep it simple. They were actually wearing the suits they'd worn on their first wedding day as well. Kurt had asked his dad if he wanted to officiate their wedding, which was the sole reason they were getting married back in Ohio and not in New York. Burt had happily agreed. 

At first, Kurt thought it would be tacky to get married in the backyard of Blaine's parental house, but now that he was there, he wouldn't have it any other way. They had invited about twenty people, so it wouldn't have made sense to rent a fancy room. Carole was providing them with a meal. Kurt had wanted to help but had been denied access to the kitchen. It was actually Blaine's mother who had stepped in and helped her out. 

Kurt and Blaine were reluctant to tell Blaine's parents that they had divorced and were getting married again, but they had been surprisingly supportive. When they explained their vision, they immediately offered their garden and house to host the wedding. Blaine had agreed hesitantly. After he had gone into therapy, he had tried to rebuild the relationship with his parents as well and it seemed to have worked. They had all sat down one evening and talked about everything that had happened. Blaine learnt that his father hadn't understood him, but that he had tried to toughen him up for the evil outside world. It had come from a good place although it had done a number on Blaine's self-confidence. 

Burt placed a hand on his son's shoulder to try to comfort him a little. Kurt probably radiated nervousness, although his dad was particularly skilled at noticing his moods. "He'll be there, Kurt," Burt whispered into his ear. Kurt had no doubt about that. The layer of nervousness slowly dissipated once the music started to play and Blaine walked out flanked by his parents. A few steps before the aisle Blaine's parents pressed a kiss to their son's cheek and let him go. Kurt reached out for him and immediately laced their hands together when Blaine slipped their hands together. 

"Dearly beloved," Kurt groaned when he heard his dad say the cheesy words. Kurt had told him not to do that, but Burt did it just for comedic effect. 

Burt cleared his throat, "Dearly beloved, Kurt told me not to say this, but yes, you are all their beloved. Welcome to the second marriage between Blaine Devon Anderson and Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," Burt playfully held up two fingers. "I could say a lot right now, but I think it's better to let these two gentlemen do the talking. We all know how this works now, don't we. So Kurt, your vows, please."

"Blaine," Kurt said, looking Blaine straight in the eyes, "I feel honoured to stand here opposite you. I don't like to think about how different our lives could have been if it weren't for that one eventful day we went into lockdown and I was forced to stay at your apartment, our old apartment. I'm glad that happened though. It opened my eyes in more ways than one. It made me realise that I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. It made me realise that not only loving is important, but so is cherishing. Cherishing our relationship, but above all you. I learnt that I have to put you first, but that I shouldn't forget about myself in the process. Thank you, Blaine. Thank you for allowing me to grow beside you. To grow with you. I know our love is ever-growing," Kurt read out his vows. It had taken him a long time to write them and they weren't perfect. He couldn't get them perfect, but for some reason that made them perfect. In therapy he had learnt to accept that not everything in life could be perfect, moreover, most things weren't perfect. That's also why he was okay with his vows not being perfect. 

"Thank you," Burt said to Kurt, then moved to a teary-eyed Blaine, "Blaine, your vows, please."

"Kurt, we've been on the rollercoaster of life together. We've seen the highs and the lows. We almost lost each other, but we're still here. You allowed me to be a better version of me, something I never believed would be possible. Loving you has thought me that I am enough, something I never believed before," Blaine shortly looked at his parents, but it wasn't in resentment. "I want to spend the rest of my life on growing with you too. We started out as two individuals who grew side by side, but we've evolved into something that grows together. I'm so glad I found you and that you allowed me to keep you. I cannot imagine a life without you and I'm glad I don't have to," Blaine gave Kurt a watery smile. Kurt was dabbing his eyes as well. 

"Can we have the rings now, please?" Burt asked. They had left them with Carole, who passed the rings to the person behind her. The rings were passed down, all guests touching them before they arrived at the front. 

"Kurt Hummel, do you take Blaine Anderson as your husband?" Burt asked Kurt, handing the ring to Blaine. 

"Yes, I do," Blaine slipped the ring around Kurt's middle finger, on top of the one already sitting there from their first marriage. They had never taken their rings off, not even when they had thought they were getting divorced. 

"Blaine Anderson, do you take Kurt Hummel as your husband?" Burt handed the ring to Kurt. 

"I do," Blaine whispered. Kurt slipped the finger on Blaine's finger. Before crashing his lips against Blaine's, he kissed the rings. 

"I now pronounce you husband and husband," Burt didn't even have to say that they were allowed to kiss. Their lips had already found one another's in a mixture of spit and tears. 

**Two years a.l**  
Kurt and Blaine found themselves in bed, celebrating their 6 month anniversary with strawberries and wine. Their actual anniversary had been on a Thursday, but they decided to celebrate on Sunday. They were both off on Sunday, which gave them the perfect opportunity for several rounds of slow and passionate love-making as well as lazing around in bed. 

They were sharing a pillow as they faced one another, it reminded Kurt of that last day they'd spent together at the end of their stay in Blaine's apartment in lockdown. "You know," Kurt started, Blaine moving his eyes up to Kurt's instead of looking at his thoroughly kissed lips. "This reminds me of that final day in lockdown." 

"I guess we were lying in bed like this back then as well, yea. But we weren't sharing a pillow and I feel miles better now than I did back then."

"Oh, I do too. I've fallen for you more and more and I still do every single day. I sometimes can't believe how in love I am with you," Kurt told Blaine. He couldn't help himself and pressed his lips to Blaine's in a sweet kiss. They'd done too much of heavily making out already, so he was fine with a sweet kiss. Plus, sweet kisses were better at conveying feelings than heated kisses had ever been. 

"Gosh, I love you," Blaine beamed back at him. 

"How could we have ever been so stupid that we thought we would be better off divorced," Kurt told him. 

"Dunno, a certain someone thought he couldn't have his dreams if he were with me. Which is absolute bullshit," Blaine told him, poking him in the chest.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" 

"Nope," Blaine popped the 'p', "our children will hear about it whenever they want." 

"Our children you say," Kurt raised his eyebrow at Blaine.

"Yes, our children. You know I want kids as well, Kurt," Blaine said. They had talked about it in their therapy sessions. The way Kurt ached to be a father, that he'd practically wanted a baby thrown into his arm at that very moment. About Blaine's reluctance to have children. Reconciling with his parents had definitely helped ease Blaine into the idea of children. He had always told Kurt it was something for he future though. So Kurt still wasn't sure whether Blaine really wanted kids, but he'd since made peace with just having Blaine. Having Blaine was wonderful, the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't want to loose Blaine, so his counsellor and him had worked on accepting that not all dreams of his could become a reality. Kurt had gotten a lesson in appreciating what he had right in front of him.

Are you saying what I think you're saying," Kurt asked Blaine, barely able to process it. 

"I don't know, what do you think I'm saying?"

"Are you ready for children?" Kurt looked at Blaine with hope written across his face. Blaine joined their lips again. "Yes, Kurt, I am. I think I am," Blaine whispered against his lips. 

"But the house?" Kurt asked, knowing that children would be very expensive for them. 

"I want to say that I don't care about the house," Blaine said. They had been saving up for a house. They were still living in the apartment Kurt had found after they had split up, but felt like they had outgrown the apartment. 

"You do care about the house," Kurt nodded, swallowing down the disappointment. 

"It doesn't mean that I don't care more about raising a child with you. Being a family," Blaine said softly. 

"Blaine, we don't have room for a child here. I don't even think we'd get approved if we wanted to adopt," Kurt felt doom rising in his chest.

"None, of that," Blaine told him, "we'll save up. We'll get a bigger apartment. I don't know. I think we should look into our options first before making a rash decision."

"You're right," Kurt sighed, feeling slightly better. 

"Of course I am," Blaine laughed at him, which earned him a shove in the chest from Kurt. 

**Three years a.l**  
"Kurt," Blaine sounded panicky on the phone. "Kurt, please, Kurt," upon hearing him speak another time, Kurt realised that Blaine was crying.

"Deep breaths, Blaine," Kurt breathed loudly into the receiver to try to get Blaine to calm down. "Can you breathe again?"

"Y-yes?" Blaine told Kurt, still not fully able to control his voice. 

"Why did you call?" Kurt asked calmly, over the years he'd learnt that Blaine got calmer if he stayed calm. He could feel the panic rising in his chest, but somehow he could keep his voice calm. Something must've gone terrible for Blaine to be so out of it. Kurt's mind immediately went worst-case scenario, but it didn't prepare him for what Kurt was about to say. 

"Mrs Smith," Blaine breathed out. 

"What's going on with Mrs Smith?" Kurt asked, voice still incredibly calm.

"Ambulance," Blaine brought out. 

"Did they take her to the hospital?" Kurt asked, now not as calmly anymore.

"Y-yes," Blaine stammered. 

"Okay, I'm coming home. I'll be there in a few. Do you want me to stay on the phone?" 

"N-no," Blaine told him. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, just come quickly," Blaine was really out of it. Kurt had shivers running down his spine. 

He rushed home, but made sure to do it carefully. He'd rather not land himself in the hospital next to Mrs Smith. 

Once he arrived at their apartment building, he entered and found himself at their apartment faster than he could blink. Their door was ajar already, something Blaine normally wouldn't do. Kurt found Blaine on the couch, looking entirely defeated. He dropped down next to Blaine and took him in his arms.

"Hey, what's happened, love," he slowly rocked Blaine from side to side.

"It-she- she looked so bad, Kurt. I don't even know if she was still breathing," he stammered. Tears formed in Kurt's eyes as well. He had kept up his facade the entire time, but he was scared too. He allowed the tears to fall down. Blaine was now holding him tightly. Whether that was to comfort himself or Kurt was to be left in the middle. 

They were cooped up in their sadness, not really knowing what to do when Kurt's phone rang for a second time that afternoon.

"Hello? Is this Kurt Anderson-Hummel?" 

"Yes," Kurt said coarsely. 

"You are listed as Mrs Smith's emergency number," Kurt was thoroughly surprised by hearing that. He knew Mrs Smith didn't have any children, but he hadn't expected to be listed there. 

"How-how is she?" 

"I would like you to come down to the hospital, I'd prefer to tell you in person." 

"Is she going to be okay?" Kurt asked, almost choking on the tears. The words of the nurse didn't give him any hope. "She died, didn't she?"

"Uhm-yes, she did. I'm very sorry Mr Hummel," Kurt broke down in sobs, letting the phone slide out of his hand. 

Blaine looked at Kurt, he didn't have to ask what they had told him on the phone. It was pretty clear from the picture in front of him. His heart ached, for Mrs Smith, for Kurt. "I'm so sorry," he whispered into Kurt's hair, tightly wrapping him in a hug. 

"Mr Anderson-Hummel?" The nurse was still trying to get in contact with him.

Blaine took the phone, "hello, this is Blaine Anderson-Hummel, Kurt's husband," he said to the best of his ability. 

"Hello, Sir. We would like it if you could come down to the hospital to retrieve Mrs Smith's things," the nurse told him. 

"We'll be there in about an hour," Blaine said. 

They went to the hospital and got to see Mrs Smith one last time. They hadn't really noticed how thin she had gotten, but seeing her in the hospital bed it suddenly became crystal clear. The doctor had explained to them that she had had cancer but wished not to get treated. That was news for the gentlemen, if they had known she was battling the disease, they would've treated her differently, which was probably why she hadn't told them. They received Mrs Smith's keys, purse and other things she'd kept on her body. 

"What do we do now?" Blaine asked as they came back home. Kurt shrugged, it seemed as if his will to live had been sucked out of him, he was so overshadowed by grief and sadness. It had taken all his power to take the trip up to the hospital. 

"Do you think we should have a look in her house?" Kurt shrugged once again, it was as if he had lost his tongue somewhere in the hospital. 

"I think I'm going to. Do you want to come?" Blaine asked. At first he had been the one bawling his eyes out, but now he had to be strong for Kurt. Kurt didn't want to go to Mrs Smith's house, afraid of all the images of her he'd find. 

Kurt just sat on the sofa and waited for Blaine to come back. "She left us a letter, Kurt," Blaine said sadly once he came back into their apartment.

_Dear Kurt and Blaine,  
_

_If you are reading this, then I'm probably dead. I didn't mean to tell you about my illness this way, but I couldn't find another. I didn't want you to treat me differently. I have been treated differently my entire life. As you know, I was shamed upon for divorcing my first husband and not creating any heirs with my second. I was the black sheep in the family. You guys never treated me differently and therefore I want to thank you. As a thank you, I am leaving you the summerhouse I got out of my first divorce. You read that right, Kurt! I got to keep my pearls and I got the summerhouse. The paperwork for that can be found in the top drawer of my nightstand as well as the plans for my funeral. I have planned it all out, I didn't want to burden you with that. Just send a message to the printing office, they will know who to send the cards to._

_As I said, I wasn't very close to my family. I would like for you to keep whatever you want to and leave the rest to them. That's what I've written down in my will. They might want to fight you, say it's not fair. But it's right there. I have also informed my dear cousin of this and he will help you. He was the only one in the family that bothered to visit. I left my pearls and the paintings to him. Anything else is yours if you want it._

_Thank you for blessing my life. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the love between the two of you blossom. You reminded me of my second husband and I. I am thankful I got to relive that relationship through you guys. You kept me young. Keep each other young. Cherish each other and never forget to love one another. Please don't be too upset about my passing. I get to be with my beloved husband like you are with yours._

_Love,  
_

_Magda Smith_

 **Five years a.l**  
"We did it," Blaine said as he slipped his arms around Kurt's waist.

Kurt turned around in the arms of his husband, hugging him back. "We did what?" 

Blaine hooked his head over Kurt's shoulder to be able to keep a watchful eye on their three-year-old, who was playing with their over-enthusiastic labrador. "We made your dreams come true."

"I guess we did. With a little help though," Kurt sighed wistfully as he looked up at the sky. 

"Yes, we did get a little help. But we still did it. We charmed Mrs Smith to such an extent that she left us the house. We charmed them enough at the adoption agency to be allowed to adopt a child." Blaine pressed a kiss to Kurt's neck, but the kiss was broken when they heard their daughter shriek. When they turned around and looked at her, she was on top of the labrador, riding him like a horse. 

"Papa, daddy, look," before she had even finished her sentence, she tumbled down. Blaine rushed to her side and left behind, a huge smile spreading on his face. Blaine had turned out to be a better dad than Kurt could've ever imagined. Seeing Blaine with their daughter had only made him love him more. He was so glad Blaine had given him another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. Apologies for the vows, I didn't really like writing them and it shows..Thank you so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, I highly appreciate it. I really enjoyed writing this story and I hope it made the situation a little better for everyone. I'm a little sad it is over though. 
> 
> Lastly, I want to say a massive thank you to my gal Rhi! She was my cheerleader through this all. She also writes and I highly recommend checking her stories out! You can probably find her in the comment section below as [klainesdalton ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainesdalton/profile)


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